Samurai Sudoku

March 16, 2006

Holy fuck! Look at this thing. And I thought Sudoku was nuts (and deliciously addicting!). Yet I open up the Comics 2 section of the Sunday Washington Post, and there’s this big-ass Sudoku grid. Not the normal nine by nine. There’s a nine by nine in the middle, and the three by three grids in the four corners are each corner three by three grids of another nine by nine! It’s five Sudoku nine by nine grids in a crazy looking numerical four-leaf clover. Wow, dude.

*takes out pencil*

Let’s rock! 😀

(This post brought to you by “oh, shit, so many days have gone by and I haven’t made another post yet”.)

Now I Know You All Hate Eggplant

March 10, 2006

The pilot episode of Family Guy was on the other night on Cartoon Network. Lois brought out dinner to the table and said “I know you all hate eggplant…” (cut off when Stewie fired a laser at her that just barely missed, hehehe) as she was serving it. And it got me thinking. If the entire family hates eggplant, why the hell is she making it?
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World Trade Center

March 9, 2006

I hereby decree…

They should rebuild the Twin Towers! Bigger ones! Better ones! Ones that don’t fall down when planes hit them!

Seriously, none of this “Freedom Tower” bullshit. It’d be WAY more patriotic to just rebuild the towers as they were (or bigger and better and resistant to planes, as decreed, hehe). Why? Because, otherwise, we’re letting the terrorists know they’ve succeeded in defacing our largest city. They destroyed a landmark. Yet it won’t just be rebuilt. They’re building something else entirely. Just a slap in the face that this something else has the intention of promoting patriotism, when its very existence will be an insult. Here’s how it should be:

World Trade Center: In Loving Memory of the old World Trade Center destroyed on September 11, 2001.

Basically saying to the terrorists “Whatever, bitch, we’ll just rebuild them. Did you really think that would scare us?”

Is that so fucking hard? Meh. Apparently so.

Joke

March 5, 2006

What’s the difference between Budapest and a Nazi all-male brothel?

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Budapest is full of Hungarians while the brothel is full of hung Aryans.

😀 :cute:

Ash Wednesday

March 1, 2006

Alright, fellow children of God (hehe, I can’t say that with a straight face!). Listen up. It is now Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. The long 40-day haul of sacrificing some aspect of life out of some token respect for Jesus has begun. You can have whatever it is back on Sundays, and may have it back completely after Good Friday. Jesus suffered and died on the Cross for your sorry, sinful asses. Surely you can give up one measly item or activity. And, hey, it’s only for six straight days, then you can have it back Sunday, then go the six days again. Not that hard.

Gave up coffee? Leave the pot off until Sunday morning. Gave up smoking? Get some lollipops for Monday through Saturday? Gave up sex? Quit shivering, you can still fuck on Sunday.

Just don’t be stupid and give up something you need or something that giving it up screws over other people. I mean, don’t go giving up leaving the house and wondering why you lost your fucking job. Pick something else. Or if you’re a firefighter and you gave up using helmets and asbestos gloves and shit. That’s just suicide. Last I checked, suicide is a sin. One you die with. At least it should be. It’s kind of cheating if you think about it.

So that’s the gist of Lent. Don’t screw it up.

Oh, and don’t forget that Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are meatless. Fish is okay, though. They are probably also a fasting days, but meh. Whatever. Just don’t let me catch you eating a fucking hamburger today, dipshit.

Standard Disney Formula

February 26, 2006

Last night I was at a neighbor’s house for several hours, keeping an eye on the ten-year-old boy who lives there while his parents were out. (Can you tell I’m trying to avoid using the word “baby-sit”? He’s not a baby!) So, basically, just sat there with him watching TV all evening. Not exactly taxing. Until about 8pm, anyway, when he switched to the Disney channel to watch a movie that was coming on, some crap with Lindsey Lohan and Tyra Banks about a doll that comes to life.
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Hey, NYRA! What’s Happening?

February 22, 2006

These days, in the National Youth Rights Association….

-It has come to our attention that Chris Batchelor has a hand moisturizer addiction. We of course wish Chris the best in overcoming this. It’ll be difficult. For a while, he will endure the constant, life-threatening torture and injury of somewhat dry hands.
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