Alito the Egregiously Wrong

May 29, 2022

It got leaked that the Supreme Court is about to overrule Roe v Wade. Not that surprising given the Court’s current makeup: three liberals plus moderate Bush appointee, less moderate Bush appointee, Not Merrick Garland, sexual abuser who likes beer, sexual abuser who votes against youth at every possible opportunity, and woman who probably asks her husband’s permission before every ruling.

Anyway, the leaked opinion by Less Moderate Bush Appointee contains some choice passages worthy of an “is this dude serious?” glare, so let’s have a look…

We hold that Roe and Casey must be overruled. The Constitution makes no reference to abortion, and no such right is implicitly protected by any constitutional provision….

Okay, but does the constitution say anything about a dog playing basketball?

Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences.

I know, right?! It allowed people with uteruses to *gasp!* make decisions about their own bodies and lives!

And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division.

Translation: “We refuse to accept the issue is settled, so we’re enflaming and dividing. LOOK WHAT YOU MADE US DO!”

It is time to heed the Constitution and return the issue of abortion to the people’s elected representatives.

Or, you know, to the people considering having abortions. Not sure anyone else has a stake.

In the years prior to [Roe v. Wade], about a third of the States had liberalized their laws, but Roe abruptly ended that political process.

Ended that political process by… settling it? Like the Court is supposed to?

It imposed the same highly restrictive regime on the entire Nation, and it effectively struck down the abortion laws of every single State.

Imposed a highly restrictive regime by… lifting restrictions? Seriously, does this guy speak English?

It represented the ‘exercise of raw judicial power’… and it sparked a national controversy that has embittered our political culture for a half-century.

Did this guy just suggest repealing Roe would end controversy and bitter political culture? Dude… look out the window!

The inescapable conclusion is that a right to abortion is not deeply rooted in the Nation’s history and traditions.

Sure it is. It’s been settled law for half a century.

An unbroken tradition of prohibiting abortion on pain of criminal punishment persisted from the earliest days of the common law until 1973.

Yeah, well, up until certain dates, no one other than land-owning white males could vote- Oh, wait, nevermind. You’re opposed to that change, too.

Voters may believe that the abortion right should be more even more [sic] extensive… Voters in other States may wish to impose tight restrictions based on their belief that abortion destroys an ‘unborn human being.’

Oh, were you saying something? I was just thinking about that time you ruled to gut the Voting Rights Act.

Our nation’s historical understanding of ordered liberty does not prevent the people’s elected representatives from deciding how abortion should be regulated.

How about, and hear me out, those who are pregnant deciding whether or not to get an abortion!

On many other occasions, this Court has overruled important constitutional decisions. … Without these decisions, American constitutional law as we know it would be unrecognizable, and this would be a different country.

Want to get started on overruling Citizens United then?

Casey described itself as calling both sides of the national controversy to resolve their debate, but in doing so, Casey necessarily declared a winning side.

Do you think your rulings don’t declare “winning sides”?

The Court short-circuited the democratic process by closing it to the large number of Americans who dissented in any respect from Roe. … Roe and Casey cannot be allowed to stand.

Most Americans want them to stand. Or does that “large number of Americans” not count?

Roe certainly did not succeed in ending division on the issue of abortion.

It wasn’t meant to. It was to allow people to get abortions if they want.

Roe ‘inflamed’ a national issue that has remained bitterly divisive for the past half-century.

No, more like the Court made a decision, and ever since the GOP, Catholics, and midwest pastors alike have been stirring their bases into a frenzy about it to get more votes, more asses in pews, and more born children to molest.

This Court cannot bring about the permanent resolution of a rancorous national controversy simply by dictating a settlement and telling the people to move on.

Could be describing literally any Supreme Court decision here.

Whatever influence the Court may have on public attitudes must stem from the strength of our opinions, not an attempt to exercise ‘raw judicial power.’

LOL

Just… LOL

We do not pretend to know how our political system or society will respond to today’s decision overruling Roe and Casey.

Seriously?

And even if we could foresee what will happen, we would have no authority to let that knowledge influence our decision.

Despite all the ink you spilled bemoaning Roe and Casey “enflaming debate” and “deepening division”. Funny how that suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.

We can only do our job, which is to interpret the law, apply longstanding principles of stare decisis, and decide this case accordingly.

Applying stare decisis would mean leaving Roe alone because it’s already correctly settled.

We therefore hold that the Constitution does not confer a right to abortion.

Translation: “Because I’ve already got Clarence, Amy, Brett, and Neil on board, so I can do what I want. Hell, I could have just recited The Cat In The Hat here for all that it matters.”

Roe and Casey must be overruled, and the authority to regulate abortion must be returned to the people and their elected representatives.

Yes, to the people. The people who are actually pregnant. Kind of need to leave Roe and Casey in place for that.

Originally tweeted here on May 4, 2022.

Still With This 2021

December 31, 2021

*looks at recent posts* Ugh.

Well, at least I’m still doing this, for whatever that’s worth. So what happened this year? Well…

January: A Capitol Sixth

– Georgia senatorial runoff election
– Did both Democrats actually win?! Sweet!
– Oh, look, angry Orange Thing fans at the Capitol.
– And breaking into the Capitol.
– Oh dear.
– Look who’s getting impeached again!
– Though he’s done anyway, but it’s the principle of the thing.
– Here comes President Biden and Vice President Harris!

February: The F Word

– Impeachment managers make case, citing event all senators saw first hand.
– Defense yelled a lot and complained Democrats said the word “fight” at any point.
– “Good enough,” said 43 Republican senators
– Second impeachment fails

March: Ever Given

– There’s a big boat wedged in the Suez Canal. LOL
– I want a Covid vaccine. I’m eligible. Give me.

April: Phase 1C

– Damn it, get me a vaccine appointment I don’t have to drive two hours for!
– Covid Easter number two
– Finally!
– First dose!

May: Stolen Base

– I just keep getting older, I guess.
– Second dose!
– LOL Davey Martinez
– What do you mean lifting mask requirements?!
– I’m fully vaxxed now but seems too soon.

June: The Noisiest Tree

– Where are the cicadas?
– Ah, there they are!
– Hello, little golden wings!
– And… they’re gone again.

July: The Twisties

– Time for 2020 Olympics in 2021
– Needs more robots.
– Good for you, Simone Biles. Good for you.
– Where did all the Nats go?

August: Millhaven

– What do you mean Canada beat us at soccer?!
– Damn it, Canada, leave your bullshit in the winter games.
– Bronze it is, then.
– Still managed to overtake China in medal count on the last day. Yay!
– Oh, that poor condo. Goddamn lightning.
– Awesome Con!

September: Tax the Rich

– Twenty years since the bad thing happened.
– Baking show

October: Bounce It

– What do you mean 99% story completion?! What did I miss?
– Fine, I’ll do New Game Plus.
– Somewhat normal Halloween again. Despite… things.

November: Focaccia

– Oh FFS Virginia
– Not doing turkey in a bag again
– Oh, Jurgen and Crystelle!
– Covid booster!

December: Quiet Room

– Where to record this video?
– Cookies. Lots of cookies.
– Virtual festivities again.
– Christmas Eve mini pies
– No Christmas Day roast beast due to shit going on.
– So doing roast beast right now for New Year’s Eve!
– Delicious.
– And watching Encanto.

I guess I should post more. Inspiration and motivation comes and goes. I’ve still been tweeting, though. Anyway, there’s 2022 waiting up there in Times Square. While this damn virus is still not gone. Why won’t it be gone? Well, all that’s gone now is 2021. Here comes the next.

Midterminated

November 30, 2018

So at long last the 2018 Midterms came after what felt like a century. And feels like it’s been another century since. Really not quite a month. But they just kind of kept going. Let’s see…

Let’s start with Texas.

For the past six years, Texas has had as a Senator a semi-sentient slime mold that answers to “Ted Cruz”. He’s also been known to, well, not necessarily answer to “Lyin’ Ted” per se but will fall in line behind whoever calls him that because he has no spine or even much integrity or sense.

Oh, and in his 2016 campaign, he actually said voters should “spank” Hillary Clinton for lying just like he does to his daughter.

Let me just take out my checklist… Okay, invoking corporal punishment to a crowd that sees it as traditional family values that’s under attack? Check. Violence against women and girls? Check. Implied sexual assault of a female political opponent? Check.

Yikes. This guy so needs to be gone.

But look! A challenger, by the name of Beto O’Rourke, running around to every Texas county and riling up the crowds. And, wow, the polls are close. Maybe there’s a chance here…

Oh.

Well, if it’s any consolation, Beto O’Rourke is so fucking proud of you guys.

Now let’s hop over to Florida.
Continue reading “Midterminated”

Brett the Impartial

October 7, 2018

Last week, Christine Blasey Ford testified about how Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh sexually assaulted her back in 1982. Then it was his turn to say words. The Senate was ready to go on it, with the Republican majority ready to vote yes, but then Jeff Flake was cornered in an elevator, so Republicans grudgingly agreed to let the FBI investigate the claims for like five minutes. So nothing seems all that different as at the end of this week the full Senate voted on confirmation. Thursday evening right before, Brett Kavanaugh said some more words, this time in written form in the Wall Street Journal. Let’s see…

I was deeply honored to stand at the White House July 9 with my wife, Ashley, and my daughters, Margaret and Liza, to accept President Trump’s nomination to succeed my former boss and mentor, Justice Anthony Kennedy, on the Supreme Court.

Name dropping.

My mom, Martha—one of the first women to serve as a Maryland prosecutor and trial judge, and my inspiration to become a lawyer—sat in the audience with my dad, Ed.

Good for her.

That night, I told the American people who I am and what I believe.

Still more comprehensive than this FBI investigation.

I talked about my 28-year career as a lawyer, almost all of which has been in public service. I talked about my 12 years as a judge on the U.S. Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia Circuit, often called the second most important court in the country, and my five years of service in the White House for President George W. Bush.

Well, yeah, this process is a job interview after all.

I talked about my long record of advancing and promoting women, including as a judge—a majority of my 48 law clerks have been women

Um, yeah, about that…

—and as a longtime coach of girls’ basketball teams.

I think I know the real reason you want this gig.
Continue reading “Brett the Impartial”

Anonymous the Anonymous

September 15, 2018

So last week the New York Times published an Op-Ed by… no one knows! But they claim to be resisting the Orange Thing from the inside. Let’s have a look…

The Times today is taking the rare step of publishing an anonymous Op-Ed essay. We have done so at the request of the author, a senior official in the Trump administration whose identity is known to us and whose job would be jeopardized by its disclosure. We believe publishing this essay anonymously is the only way to deliver an important perspective to our readers. We invite you to submit a question about the essay or our vetting process here.

Intriguing. Do go on.

President Trump is facing a test to his presidency unlike any faced by a modern American leader.

In other news, the word “leader” wants to sue you for defamation.

It’s not just that the special counsel looms large. Or that the country is bitterly divided over Mr. Trump’s leadership. Or even that his party might well lose the House to an opposition hellbent on his downfall.

Awww, poor Orange Thing with all the shit he and his party brought on themselves.

The dilemma — which he does not fully grasp — is that many of the senior officials in his own administration are working diligently from within to frustrate parts of his agenda and his worst inclinations.

I mean, he might know now. But then again, how would you know?

I would know. I am one of them.

Ah.
Continue reading “Anonymous the Anonymous”

Pruitt the Faithful

July 8, 2018

A few days ago, Scott Pruitt resigned as head of the EPA, the latest departure in this revolving-door-like administration. In doing so, he penned a letter to the Orange Thing. Let’s have a look…

Mr. President, it has been an honor to serve you in the Cabinet as Administrator of the EPA.

And you use the term “honor” very loosely.

Truly, your confidence in me has blessed me personally

I wasn’t aware Orange Thing was capable of blessing people. Or of having confidence in them for that matter.

and enabled me to advance your agenda beyond what anyone anticipated at the beginning of your Administration.

Be it through catastrophic environmental damage or nuclear war, his agenda of turning our planet into a smoking husk will be realized much sooner than anyone would have thought, yes.

Your courage, steadfastness and resolute commitment to get results for the American people, both with regard to improved environmental outcomes as well as historical regulatory reform, is in fact occurring at an unprecedented pace and I thank you for the opportunity to serve you and the American people in helping achieve those ends.

In other words, we’re way ahead of schedule on that 2°C rise.

That is why it is hard for me to advise you I am stepping down as Administrator of the EPA effective as of July 6.

Now that wasn’t that hard, was it? Take note, Sessions! And Sanders. And Nielsen. And the rest.

It is extremely difficult for me to cease serving you in this role first because I count it a blessing to be serving you in any capacity,

Someone has a cruuuuush…

but also, because of the transformative work that is occurring.

Look at those ice caps melt!

However, the unrelenting attacks on me personally, my family, are unprecedented and have taken a sizable toll on all of us.

Yeah, really, all the horrific accusations about you having a private e-mail server and running a child trafficking operation at a pizza restaurant- Oh, wait, that wasn’t you…

I believe these are yours.

My desire in service to you has always been to bless you as you make important decisions for the American people.

You talk to and about the Orange Thing as if his occupation of the White House is ordained by God or something-

I believe you are serving as President today because of God’s providence.

I believe that same providence brought me into your service.

Actually, Orange Thing appointed you- Oh, that’s what you mean. Weird.

I pray as I have served you that I have blessed you and enabled you to effectively lead the American people.

No entity real or imagined anywhere ever has enough power to make the Orange Thing an effective leader. All you’re doing is feeding his already dangerously high narcissism by speaking to and about him like some god-king, for reasons I’m not really sure I want to know.

Thank you again Mr. President for the honor of serving you

You keep using that word. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

and I wish you Godspeed in all that you put your hand to.

Because when you’re famous they let you do it.

Your Faithful Friend, Scott Pruitt

This has been Day 46 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 18.

And Greenbelt Makes Three

January 9, 2018

Usually when there’s a map of my region with triangles on it, it’s the Pepco Outage Map.

But here’s an awesome triangle for the region.

At one point farthest to the west, we have Takoma Park, the first of them, which did it May 13, 2013. The southernmost point is Hyattsville, the second, which did it January 20, 2015. And to the northeast, the third point, which did it January 8, 2018, is Greenbelt.

These three towns at these three points have all have lowered their municipal voting ages to 16! A move with lots of good reasons and lots to think about and lots of tweets back in the day.

I was there when Takoma Park and Hyattsville each sealed the deal. Sadly, I was unable to attend Greenbelt’s due to freezing rain encasing everything in ice. But at least the people who mattered were there.

The three towns are all right by each other, too. The idea is spreading throughout the region. College Park is inside the triangle, almost totally surrounded and must surely join in at some point! The geographical proximity commands it. You, too, Berwyn Heights, especially if College Park does get in on this. And you, New Carrollton, just outside the triangle to the southeast. Why should the Green Line terminus in Greenbelt have all the fun of being in a #16tovote town when you and your Orange Line terminus could as well? Also, perhaps you’d then provide a little encouragement to a certain town just a bit south of you, just off the above map…

Yes, I’m talking about you, Glenarden! Get it together!

A Gross Misuse of Tiki Torches

August 15, 2017

So… stuff happened in Charlottesville, VA this past weekend.

A bunch of white supremacists heard the town was moving a Robert E Lee statue, so they flipped out and marched on the park, with their torches… Wait a minute!

Are those… those backyard barbecue mosquito repellent torches you can get at Target? What’s wrong, guys, not ruggedly manly enough to get a big stick out of the woods and ignite it? Seriously, look at these stupid assholes. I feel like this isn’t so much a mob of white supremacists as a boggart that initially appeared as a mob of white supremacists but you’ve already said “Riddikulus!” Are we supposed to be afraid of these fuckbags?

Well, not afraid, but definitely not unconcerned. One of them did run his car over a crowd of the counterprotesters, killing one and injuring a whole lot of others. These public manifestations of theirs do embolden their supporters, validating their spurious white superiority beliefs and putting others in danger. Doesn’t help (if not the least bit surprising) that the Orange Thing currently occupying the White House took two whole days to even kind of sort of say anything close to “racism is bad, mmmkay” in response to this. And today pretty much walked it back and blamed leftists because of course he did.

And we of course have not seen the last of this. Not at all.
Continue reading “A Gross Misuse of Tiki Torches”

WTF Montana?

May 26, 2017

So you may have noticed there seems to be more bad behavior than usual in US politics. I mean, this was painfully realized last November, confirmed in January, and has been a not-sure-whether-to-laugh-or-cry spectacle ever since. The Orange Thing that’s been occupying the White House the past few months has bragged about sexual assault, mocked a disabled person, advocated war crimes, and, dear God, I’d be here for the rest of the decade if I were to even attempt a comprehensive list. But his party and supporters still stick by him. They still excuse this behavior.

But I didn’t mean to talk so much about him. Montana just elected a congressman who literally physically attacked a reporter who was merely asking him questions.

That’s right, elected. This incident happened on Wednesday night, the night before Special Election Day. In any decent or just universe, this would have been the end of him. But sure enough, despite there being some question as the race has been kind of close, Montana voted him right in.

While some have chalked it up to early voting, that many or most Montana voters had already cast their ballots before this happened, surveys taken at polling places yesterday are less than encouraging. People who knew full well that this man, Greg Gianforte, physically assaulted an innocent journalist, Ben Jacobs, still happily voted for him.

Because they believed the liberal journalist deserved it.

You know, yeah, we all know politicians have always been kind of terrible, to varying degrees anyway. You sort of have to be kind of terrible to succeed in it, sadly. But for the most part, they tend to at least pretend they are not terrible. They at least acknowledge there are certain behaviors that are unacceptable, even if so many get caught in their share of scandals. Even when caught, they and those around them might not try to act like it was all cool. They might still support them otherwise, but they acknowledge some wrong was done. That’s how it’s supposed to work anyway.

But whether the Orange Thing or Gianforte or whoever else (including those who aren’t Republicans, not pretending Democrats or others are at all innocent), it’s like some sort of party unity comes before everything else.

It’s like…
“Did you know Candidate hasn’t paid taxes in two decades, is cheating on his wife, and likes to kick puppies?”
“Yeah, but Other Candidate is Other Party and therefore evil. Also, her e-mails.”

Again, this is nothing new. It just seems to be getting a lot more blatant. A lot more shameless.

That there is the problem. Where is the line? The Orange Thing seems to be going out of his way to cross it, and why the hell hasn’t he yet for so many? And Gianforte and who knows how many others seeking elected office are getting the clear message that they can behave badly all they want, that being violent and out of control is the path to success.

We need to hold our leaders and ourselves a LOT more accountable than this. We need to fully understand that, no, the journalist did not deserve to be straight up body slammed just because of his political affiliation and because he was asking a tough question which, you know, any elected official had damn well better have thick enough skin to handle if they expect to get anywhere. We can’t have so many people in this country not understanding that.

The survival of our country depends on us all getting this. Violence like this out of someone wanting to be a congressman, and violence against a member of the press no less, which undermines the First Amendment, is the kind of thing that, if it becomes more commonplace, we can say goodbye to considering ourselves anything close to a free society. As it is, we have a police brutality problem, and there are too many people defending that for sure. How much worse can we let this get? How much more is going to be excused because of authoritarian beliefs or partisan rage?

Because this shit is not even close to okay!

This has been Day 3 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 17.

Leelah Alcorn

December 30, 2014

What happened to Leelah Alcorn is tragic and infuriating.

She was transgender but stuck with super fundamentalist religious parents who told her that she’s really a boy and that she’s going through a phase. When she wouldn’t relent in wanting to transition, her parents pulled her out of school and removed her from social media and friends, completely isolating her for months. Finally, after leaving her suicide note on Tumblr, she committed suicide.

Why didn’t her parents accept her? Because she brought shame to them. Because they wanted to maintain for themselves an image of Good Christians. In their minds, she stood in the way of that. In their minds, she had to be removed.

So they did. They removed her from school and from public pretty much. They tortured her with religious pseudo-therapy. Did they think they would “cure” her? Or keep her out of “sin” long enough for her to outgrow this supposed phase?

Any way you look at it, they wanted Leelah gone. They might have preferred that she simply stopped being LGBT or maybe not. They wanted everything that Leelah was to be gone, out of their life, out of sight, so that she would no longer sully their image, their honor.

So now that she’s dead… problem solved! It may be more extreme than her parents intended, or maybe not. They saw her as a problem that needed to be removed, so she removed herself for them. In fact, given the treatment of her leading up to it, clearly this is exactly what they were hoping would happen.

They couldn’t kill her themselves without going to prison or – gasp! – tarnishing their image as Good Christians, so they drove her to do it herself, not only to keep their hands clean but to ensure, in their minds, that she goes to hell where she belongs. They wanted an honor killing, and they got one.

And, as a youth rights supporter, I must ask the very important question here. Why in the hell were her parents even able to put her through all this shit in the first place? She should have been able to transition whether they wanted her to or not. She should have been able to stay in school and stay in contact with everyone regardless of how her stupid parents feel about her. She should still be fucking ALIVE and happy!

But they had power over all of this. Because just like they cared more for their image than her life, our society cares more about their “parental right” to control her (even to death) than for her life. And that right there speaks volumes.