Category: Random Crap

So ends another one. Let’s get to it…

January: Pass Interference

– My poor country
– Holy crap, the Commanders are in the NFC Championship game! Superbowl perhaps?
– Oooh, no, nope, got squished by Eagles.
– It’s official. The Orange Thing once again occupies the White House. With a vengeance.
– Also, Nazi salute
– Remembering
– Gulf of what now?!

February: Inventory Check

– Everything right now is just so… stupid
– Let’s all point and laugh at anyone who actually thought the Skipping Dipshit who bought Twitter was some sort of free speech warrior
– He’s sending in goons to tear apart vital government agencies…
– …and what everyone is most offended about is that these goons are young. Oy.
– The entities that are supposed to protect or counter all this are just… letting it happen.
– Chiefs fell apart this time in Man Bowl.
– Sometimes we all miss red flags. That’s life. It’s okay.

March: Cloture

– Holy shit, that’s three years in a row now Disney/Pixar didn’t win Best Animated Feature!
– WTF?! Let Mahmoud Khalil go, you fucking shitbags!
– Lunar eclipse
– Are Schumer and Dems going to stand up in the slightest to Orange Thing admin?
– Maybe…?
– Can we at the very least step back from the brink…?
– Nope. They caved again.

April: Lemon Cake

– SHINY BAG
– Ovechkin’s 895th goal!
– Not even penguins are spared from tariffs.
– More college students snatched away for speaking up for Palestine.
– Suspected “illegal immmigrants” getting whisked to concentration camp in El Salvador
– Hey, that’s my Senator going to El Salvador personally to see about a captive Marylander
– Glad someone is being brave

May: Carbonated Fruit

– Stop acting like your transphobic bullshit is about protecting kids
– I’m the meaning of life!
– Oh, shit, do I have a pinched nerve again?
– I can still bring what I usually bring
– Final Fantasy 12

June: Five Judges

– No Kings!
– Just say NO to the Orange Thing!
– No one is coming to your birthday parade, Orange Thing. We’re all protesting everywhere else!
– You did good, New York.
– Supreme Court: “Birthright citizenship? Children’s academic freedom? Haha, fuck all that!”

July: Single Point of Contact

– Don’t cede American identity to MAGA
– What do you mean Colbert is cancelled?!
– Yeah… do it, South Park…

August: Traceable

– Got some new responsibilities.
– Oh, shit, I fucked up.
– Get out of DC, National Guard!
– Shouldn’t have to worry about the event being safe.

September: Least

– I got it in one! Wordle is my starting word!
– The Right: “How dare you say Kirk was anything less than a saint!”
– Also the Right: “Let’s kill the homeless.”
– Kimmel gets cancelled because he so much as mentioned the whole mess.
– Backlash brings him right back.
– Hey, take note, backlash gets shit done.
– See You Later, Bob Carpenter!

October: Debts

– Oh, Dems aren’t caving this time on shutdown.
– Hmm, Commanders aren’t as good this time. Too many injuries.
– The revolution will be ribbited.
– No Kings!
– Oh, swell, now he’s tearing down parts of the White House. For a ballroom.
– It’s about goddamn time.

November: Reprieve

– Apples
– Oh, God. Poor Blue Jays.
– Blue wave! Mamdani! Spanberger!
– Okay, now they’ve caved.
– His already abundantly clear close relationship with Epstein is still more abundantly clear.
– Oven trouble

December: Snow Monarch

– Fancy party is fancy
– A lot to do before holiday break…
– Done!
– I guess I wasn’t invited to participate this time.
– Brownies, cookies, and gingerbread cake
– Isn’t a standing rib roast supposed to… stand?
– Twenty years!
– Zootopia 2

Ugh. Just… ugh. Whether what’s happening to this country or my own personal life getting in the way of doing more interesting things so I’m not straining my brain to remember anything good to add to this recap… ugh.

Alright, ball in Times Square, hovering over the unlit 2026. It has every indication of being out of the frying pan and into the fire, but I guess there’s no other way out of the frying pan. Bring it on.

Another year. Another whole mess of things happening, and here I am on the last day of it trying to remember enough of it for a decent recap. Here goes…

January: The Map

– New year in a new age
– International potluck
– Another big ceasefire rally
– Snow day
– This better not be Covid again…
– Negative. Just a regular cold/flu.

February: Lucky Plate

– The Chiefs again.
– (Ash) Valentine’s Day
– I’ll make a bunch and see what’s good
– Maybe I’ll actually do the Gummi Ship stuff this time.
– Ahhh! Extra day!

March: The Banality of Evil

– AwesomeCon!
– Oh, fuck, the Key Bridge collapsed?!
– Easter at Brookside as usual

April: 15:15:14

– How am I doing this?
– Is this plan going to work? I have no idea
– Shit. It’s going to be cloudy. Probably. Change destination? I don’t know!
– Screw it, let’s just get on the road and see what happens…
– Okay. We’re here…
– Holy shit, the clouds are clearing!
– WHOA

May: Frankie

– Crackdowns on pro-Palestine protests on campuses, inb4 another Kent State…
– Star Wars game in the rain
– Whatever I do it’s never enough.
– Don’t rush off to the picnic and leave me to do all this shit!

June: Twelve Day Turnaround

– Tornado warning. Whatever.
– Wait. It’s an actual tornado?! Wow.
– I’ve got to get this renewed before the deadline.
– That was fast.
– Oof, Biden, are you… uh, you okay, man?

July: Sunday Afternoon

– Blueberry pie for the 4th.
– Oh, shit, someone made an attempt on the Orange Thing.
– Someone not named Mike Pence is next to him now, wonder why that is…
– What’s Biden saying?
– Hooooooooooooooooly shit!
– The Paris Olympic cauldron is a hot air balloon. Your argument is invalid.

August: Offsides

– Tim Walz for VP
– USWNT Soccer Gold!
– Team USA basketball Gold, after biting off all nails.
– Also, Snoop Dogg.
– DNC a lot more cheerful than it might have been.
– States roll call!

September: Talk About Extreme

– Ghosts.
– RIP James Earl Jones
– Harris mops floor with Orange Thing in debate.
– She does it with one hand, too. The other is on her chin.
– No, NO! Not in my neighborhood!
– RIP Maggie Smith

October: Fragilissimo

– Holy shit, the Commanders are actually… good?!
– This has been going for a goddamn year now and no end in sight.
– Expensive car work is expensive
– Did you just straight up kill the Post endorsement because Bezos didn’t want to piss off the Orange Thing?

November: The Price of Eggs

– Good opportunity to check the place out
– Alright, it’s time to do this…
– And…
– Oh.
– No.
– Not again…
– What the fuck now?!
– Fuck this.
– Pop up shop
– Welcome to Not Twitter
– Apple pie
– A couple more opportunities. Can’t move forward yet, though.

December: Olivia

– I’ve got to make some cookies.
– So much to finish.
– Much needed reprieve.
– Is it happening this year or what?
– I guess so.
– Christmas gingerbread cake came out yummy. If needed more ginger.
– Roast beast
– Hidden surprise present
– RIP Jimmy Carter
– Moana 2

Yikes. What the hell was that?

(That could refer to either this whatever-it-was of a year or just my attempt at a write up. Or both. It’s both.)

Sometimes I wonder if things really are getting worse or we’re just conditioned to believe that. Perhaps the latter, given I began this year with an optimistic entry about us all living together on a big sphere. I guess we get fed a lot of stories every which way, and such is why we ended up, among other things, with this election result. Maybe it’s a silly question. Things just are. We control such a tiny bit.

Whatever the case, 2025 awaits. Like a cliff from which we are all about to plummet. Into the abyss. Into the future…

We’ve come around again. So what happened? Well…

January: TCM

– Go away already, bat flu!
– So much coughing
– …
– …

February: Fletcher

– I guess I’ll say a few words
– Just what is a life well lived anyway?
– I’ll cook things for Lent
– I baked focaccia!
– Damn it’s warm outside

March: On Hold

– Los Angeles gets snow but we don’t?!
– Horizon Forbidden West
– Wish it would tell me which machine is hostile like predecessor
– Chia seeds are a great egg substitute

April: Drafts

– Orange Thing is getting arrested!
– Bingeing His Dark Materials series during Holy Week!
– Throw together something resembling an Easter feast
– That came in just in time.
– Legislatures pulling anti-trans dipshittery again.

May: Mage

– Guess I’ll replay Final Fantasy 7
– I’m forty now?!
– Korean BBQ
– Did the Nats finally actually win the Star Wars game? Yay!
– Hmm, no more new shows for a while with writer’s strike.
– Target Pride is Satan?!

June: Picnic Leftovers

– Oh, shit, do I have Covid again?!
– Nope, just an ordinary cold.
– What the fuck is going on with… outside?
– The wildfire smoke is making everything all sepia toned.
– AwesomeCon!
– Let’s fix this place up a bit and reflect
– Buy out Bed Bath & Beyond before closing
– Oh, look, Supreme Court is setting us back decades again
– You keep saying “free speech”. I don’t think it means what you think it means.

July: Over Five Pounds

– S’mores brownies!
– Wait, what?
– Ah, fuck, not a pinched nerve again!
– I guess I’ll just lie still and watch The Orville
– Justice for Topa!

August: Time Zones

– What’s in storage?
– What do you mean USWNT lost in the first round?!
– You’re supposed to be the not-useless ones!
– Bingo
– Bazaar is back.

September: Shady Trees

– Final season of Disenchantment
– Except not really because we all know Matt Groening shows do not end nor should they.
– So many tight deadlines…
– What an awful picture.
– Hurry up and get here and thaw.
– Am I doing this or what?
– I should visit.
– #28 Meant to Live

October: Custard Power

– Did I just lose almost two years of progress?
– What do you mean reorganization?!
– Oh, goddamnit, Israel and Palestine.
– Noooo, my favorite mug!
– I’ll check out the small demonstration

November: 5064

– March for ceasefire
– I really need time off
– Where’d it go? Oh, that’s a shame.
– We made a good turkey!
– I guess I’ll finally play The Last of Us again

December: Aunt Tabitha

– Changes happening
– Mmmm sugar plums
– Winter Festival again!
– Cookie swap is back!
– And that’s the end of Archer
– Christmas Crisp
– The Boy and the Heron, to resume New Years Eve movie theater going post-pandemic
– And I’ve made some steak and shrimp.

This year had one huge event to start with, which maybe I’ll talk about in a separate post, and a whole lot of other stuff I’ve been racking my brain over the past few days to remember in order to cobble something together here. Kind of disheartening, in that my New Years Eve recaps in the past I’ve had no trouble remembering even the most bizarre details. Is it I can’t remember as well now? Maybe I’m not doing as much now worth remembering? Maybe I do remember but I’m less willing to add it here, however cryptic.

There’s 2024 waiting up there in Times Square. Bringing with it all the usual annual observances all over again, as well as a leap year, a Summer Olympics, and, of course, the presidential election. What will become of that? What will become of Gaza? What will become of Twitter?

As 2023 draws to a close, as this new one drops in shortly, I guess we’ll just have to see. Buckle up.

Another year. Let’s get to it.

January: Short Cycling

-Yikes, open the vents!
-Wordle
-LOL Penzeys having “Republicans Are Racists” weekend
-Time to replay Kingdom Hearts, starting with Birth by Sleep

February: Extracurricular Activity

-Beijing Olympics
-Yeah, letting a Uyghur hold the torch doesn’t make up for shit, Xi!
-Interrupting Olympics for Superbowl.
-And it’s not a repeat, it’s women’s hockey silver, in regulation! Oh, well.
-And now Russia is invading Ukraine. Ugh…

March: Inciting Violence

-Getting a little antsy there, Facebook?
-Fuck war and fuck transphobia.
-Keep my wife’s name out your fucking mouth!
-Kingdom Hearts Final Mix: it’s different

April: Tire Pressure

-Rickrolllll
-Leaky ceiling!
-Almond bars for Easter
-Brookside, as usual

May: Under the Sun

-Where the hell are you off to?!
-Wait, this could benefit me immensely…
-If things are about to get harder.
-Kingdom Hearts 2 Final Mix confuses and angers me.
-More shitheads committing racially motivated shootings.
-Hand pies!

June: Settled Law

-AwesomeCon!
-This Visit Baltimore ad.
-Eleven, we don’t send people to Azkaban for bashing their bullies in the face with a roller skate.
-Look what the Supreme Court just did. Fucking hell.
-Is this happening or what?

July: Offer

-Chili and galettes
-Breaking Bad
-Off to Star Wars game at Nats Park!
-What do you mean he turned it down?!
-My district is a toss-up now?!
-I’ll take it!

August: Chorizo

-Juan Soto! Nooooooooooooo!
-Joining Kathleen in presentation on LGBTQ youth!
-They are oatmeal cookies. That makes them breakfast.
-At the county fair!
-It’s my first day. And also very much not.
-What the hell is happening across the street?!

September: Parer

-Indian food buffet.
-Oh. Queen Elizabeth.
-Turning Red!
-Baking show.

October: Old Friends Old Rivals

-Time for Melody of Memory.
-Is there seriously a possibility that Herschel Walker, Mehmet Oz, and Kari Lake might get elected?!
-Halloween party

November: Late Earlies

-Stray!
-We got a new Maryland governor!
-And my district stays blue. Whew!
-As does the Senate!
-I’m hosting Thanksgiving!
-New Crash Bandicoot game is hard as shit

December: Celebrations Closet

-Cookies
-Global call
-World Cup
-First in-person Winter Festival in three years!
-Christmas Eve gingerbread cake
-Christmas deep freeze!
-And… Covid finally got me.
-Closing out this one in isolation.

So ends another one, the continuation of some major events before with a lot of uncertainty as to what happens now. Loss of civil rights but better than expected election. The pandemic goes on, as I’m feeling very much at the moment. I might have something more eloquent to say if I weren’t so feverish. Or at least I’ll blame it on that.

Here comes 2023. What’s in store now? I guess we’ll see…

Sometimes there’s a story you know that suddenly, well, continues. Maybe after a long time. Maybe unexpectedly. Maybe the continuation existed for some time and you’re only now finding it. Well, it’s New Year’s Eve, and so ends 2019, a year of an inordinate number of next installments. And, just in general, the end of one year and beginning of another, a next installment in itself. Whatever. Let’s do this thing.

January: Water Event

-What was that?
-What did you just send me?!
-Replaying this game a lot.
-Reading, too.
–The Book of Dust: La Belle Sauvage
-Wait, is it finally out?!
-Vice

February: Revivify

-Time for the game!
-Nothing’s happening, nothing’s happening…
-It’s over. A lot of people in the audience look pissed.
–Final Fantasy III/VI
-Unexpected snow day!

March: Ground Chicken

-Maybe I’d better finally do this and see what happens.
-Gathering information
-Did Ayanna Pressley propose a lower voting age AND use my hashtag?!
–How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World
-And I’m stranded.
-Better get that looked at.
-Stranded again.
-Alright, need a new battery.
-What do you mean Bryce Harper went to the Phillies?!
-Is this still any good to eat or not?
-Maybe we all drink too much.
-Hmm, Nats aren’t off to a great start.

April: Walk-Off Walk

-Are the Nats going to win, like, ever?
-Holy shit, a walk-off walk!
-I’ve always wanted to see a walk-off walk!
-Captain Marvel
-Let’s see what this information gathering is turning into.
-Ah..
-On Monday it’s women in science.
-On Tuesday it’s a thing about an iceberg whose whole point was to make a Simpsons joke.
-On Wednesday, DEATH!
-On Thursday we’re not so great as a species after all.
-On Friday TREES
-On Saturday okay maybe we do some good things as a species.
-All leading to Easter Sunday at Brookside
-Time for AwesomeCon
-I bought way too many shirts.

May: Series 2 Episode 3

-I found it!
–Avengers: Endgame
-Let’s replay Kingdom Hearts
-Birthday pizza and ice cream sundae.
-And now Kingdom Hearts 2!
-What do you mean you’re out of the Ryan Zimmerman Captain America bobbleheads?!
-Oh, well, we shut them out. It’s the Marlins, but still.

June: Obsolescence Insurance

-Are you really whining at me about something I posted nine years ago?
-Okay, done with Kingdom Hearts 2? What now?
-Play the third, of course!
-And to get a PlayStation 4!
-And the ancillary games. I guess I’d better play those first.
–Kingdom Hears: Chain of Memories
-Okay, this card thing is weird.
-Star Wars game!
-And they lost bad to the Diamondbacks. Ugh.
-But Obi-Sean Kenobi Doolittle bobblehead!
-Maybe don’t ship us stuff on Thursday since getting stuck a day in Memphis is a thing that happens.
-Now I have to go to work on Saturday!
–Kingdom Hearts: Birth by Sleep
-Isn’t that Roxas?
–Toy Story 4

July: Oxygen Sensor

-Hmm, old TV is broken. Set up the new one!
-We won the World Cup again!
-Megan Rapinoe > you
-Time for Lights for Liberty
-Check engine light?!
-Break from Kingdom Hearts for Crash Bandicoot remake. Not bad.
-The Nats got their asses kicked by the Dodgers and all I got was this sweet tote bag.

August: Special Portal

–Kingdom Hearts: Dream Drop Distance
-At the fair!
-At long last…
–Kingdom Hearts 3
-New version of The Lion King
-Book festival on Day 100

September: Orichalcum+

-Nats had been doing great but are kind of faltering again.
-I’ll go see them play the Braves…
-Let us never speak of the Braves game again
-And finally forged the damn Ultima Weapon
-Oh. I’ve finished Kingdom Hearts 3.
-Whatever should I do with myself now?
-Holy fuckshit, did the Nats manage to snag the NL Wild Card?!
-Bazaar!

October: #22

-Holy fuckshit, the Nats beat the NL Wild Card game.
-Well, time for another NLDS
-And the Dodgers destroyed Game 1
-Managed to force Game 5, here we go again…
-Kershaw blew the save…
-KENDRICK GRAND SLAMMED…
-The Nats got past the NLDS.
–Downton Abbey
-Time to die against the Cardinals.
-What the shit, we swept the Cardinals?!
-How..?!
-Oh, my God, the Nats are in the World Series.
-Against… the Houston Astros on shorter rest and thus uninterrupted momentum.
-We’re doomed.
-And Baby Shark was done at the World Series
-LOL Orange Thing got booed at Nats Park
-Well, get this over with…
-Wait… what?!
-!!!!
-NATIONALS WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!
-Oh, and Halloween

November: Gloo Gloo

-Championship parade!
-I’ll just ignore any news about them on Monday
–Rayman Legends

December: We’re Mules Now

-Cookies
-Holiday party
-Redoing 2014 Winter Festival
–Frozen 2
-Another holiday party
-Shopping
-Lights
-Cookies
-IMPEACHED!
-Getting food
-Holy what, Silent Night has a fourth verse?!
-Christmas Day
-Simultaneous Simpsons and Doctor Who marathons
–The Book of Dust: The Secret Commonwealth
-Lights
–Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

There’s often more to a story, whether desirable or not, whether welcome or not. Though even if disappointing or underwhelming, it’s nice to know an end hasn’t been reached.

Anyway, it’s New Year’s Eve, and this part of the story ends, the one that arbitrarily lies inside the year 2019, and onto 2020 in about an hour, onto the next phase of whatever. It’s a leap year. There will be an Olympics. And, notably, there will be the chance to throw the Orange Thing out on his ass in November and please God let him be thrown out. Whatever it is, we go into the next part. Here goes…

Well, it’s New Year’s Eve. Time to look back over the last 12 months. I begin most years feeling like this year will be special and with new experiences. And certainly this has been true for many. When this year began, however, I figured it wouldn’t be special. It’d just be the same old stuff I do every year. Well, let’s see what happened.

January: Common Area Tree

-What a ridiculous ad.
-Time to head to Greenbelt to see them vote to lower the voting age!
-Except everything is encased in ice and it would be incredibly hazardous to drive all the way there.
-Going to have to miss this one.
-But they did it!
-Why is someone waking me this early on a Saturday morning?
-Oh. Shit.
-A dead tree seemed to have gotten in a fight with my parked car.
-Someone get this tree off my poor car!
-Oh, wow, windshield survived. Just this minor dent.
-My car is a champ!
-Seems Hawaii had a missile alert snafu.

February: Shot 6

-Time for the game!
-I hate the Eagles but I’m so sick of the Patriots so… *cringe* Go Eagles. *cringe*
-Ah, the Eagles did win!
-Really wished I’d changed the channel right away after that.
-Olympics!
-It’s Ash Valentines!
-JavaScript
-Oh, shit, Parkland shooting.
-Time for US vs Canada women’s hockey final. So tense. Another heartbreak?
-Argh, overtime!
-And now a shootout.
-Sudden death.
-HOLY CRAP, WE WON!!!!
-Jury duty!

March: If They Could

-JavaScript
-Black Panther
-No, raising the gun age to 21 won’t stop shootings. It just pins the blame on youth.
-Finally a ski evening before the season is out. It’s at least open this time but not much snow.
-This week in the United States: The Orange Thing and Joe Biden are gearing up for a fistfight, and the most popular book out now is a gay fanfic about Mike Pence’s rabbit.
-Time for March for our Lives!
-And for Easter weekend… AwesomeCon!

April: AGI

-AwesomeCon again, for Easter Fools Day.
-I bought a lot of refrigerator magnets.
-Ready Player One
-Was that really the best way to handle the Apu thing? Because it really wasn’t.
-March for Science isn’t all rainy this time. Not as many people though.
-It’d help to fill out the form correctly.
-Caps are in the playoffs again, heading to the second round against the Penguins, again. Sigh. Here we go again.

May: Walk Off

-Star Wars Day at Nats Park! Day before my birthday.
-They lost.
–WES threw me a birthday party!
-Not technically. But platform was a party and it was my birthday, so there you go.
-Back at Nats Park next day on my birthday.
-They’re losing.
-They came back in the ninth.
-Nats win!
-Whoa, the Caps actually beat the Penguins and advanced to the conference final!
-Royal wedding.
-Caps are about to be eliminated from Eastern Conference final.
-Well, they won Game 6 in a shut out. That’s good.
-And Game 7 is a shut out, too.
-Caps are going to the Stanley Cup final!!!
-I’ll head over to the gaming section and glance in the case just for shits and giggles, not like they’ll have it-
-Holy shit, they have it!
-SNES CLASSIC!!!!
-Now for Stanley Cup final against Vegas Golden Knights.
-…
-WHAT?!?!?!

June: It’s Not a Desert Mirage

-Caps have pulled ahead in the series.
-Time for Game 5.
-WTF did you do?!
-Game 5 is tied.
-We’re up by one in Game 5.
-Oh, what’s happening to the clock?
-Almost over.
-Is 0.6 seconds enough time for the Golden Knights to tie it up?
-Oh my God.
-OH MY GOD
-It’s for real. I’m seeing this.
-That’s MY team!
–CAPITALS WIN THE STANLEY CUP!!!!
-And just two days later…
-JUSTIFY WINS THE TRIPLE CROWN!!!!
-So Alex Ovechkin, Braden Holtby, and jockey Mike Smith drank out of the Stanley Cup with Jimmy Fallon because of course they did.
-Anthony Bourdain
–Flag Day.
-Suddenly a very busy week.
-Didn’t make it to the rally about the immigrant family separations.

July: Would

-My turn to bring snacks!
-Now to make chili con… corn. I guess.
-And ‘splosions.
-The country is sparkling once again.
-Looks like Scott Pruitt is out.
-Sunflowers
-France wins the World Cup over Croatia
-Orange Thing meets with Putin and straight up commits treason in plain sight.
-Does that mean what I think it means?

August: Salchipapas

-It does!
-Hmm. No cable or internet.
-What a horrible couple of days!
-Got it repaired.
-Final episode of Sense8.
-Do they have it? Do they have it?
-They do!
-NES CLASSIC!!!!
-Time to go counterprotest some white supremacist assholes invading my city.
-Not very many of them. LOL
-Taking someone to the fair to meet the sheep.
-I also got centrifuged.
-Let’s go again.
-Or not.
-There goes McCain.
-It’s a puppy!
–Mmmm, poke.

September: Indelible in the Hippocampus

-Stop saying “and no one is talking about it“.
-Eighth Grade
-Won’t You Be My Neighbor?
-o snap, anonymous op-ed from inside Orange Thing administration
-It’s the 17th anniversary.
-Dinner with some cool people
-BoJack Horseman!
-Nats game!
-And they actually shut out the Mets 6-0!
-If people could not launch into “kids these days” discussions, like, ever, that’d be great.
-Brett Kavanaugh did some bad things. He retorts by yelling about beer or something.
-Bazaar!

October: Deadpan

-He insists he’s an impartial judge really.
-And gets confirmed anyway.
– “Half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman”
-Dallas sucks
-Pumpkin cookies! Could be improved.
-Brazil, WTF are you doing?
-Time to give out candy to whoever comes to my door!

November: Boneless

-Sugarloaf
-WES auction (and lamps)
-Time to vote…
-Damn it, Florida, Georgia, Texas… oh, a whole lot of states.
-Why must people fight?
-Are we going to meet up?
-No, doesn’t look like it.
-What do you mean you’re not doing the Thanksgiving Day song?!
-I went with a boneless turkey this time.
-It’s good.
-Cooking and then eating Thanksgiving meal while watching parade, dog show, and football. Nice.

December: You Can’t Mansplain the Suffragette

-There goes HW.
-Mannheim Steamroller
-Sometimes I feel really out of place
-Winter Festival!
-Pumpkin cookies! I nailed it this time!
-Christmas shopping and then mailing.
-More cookies.
-Light shows.
-And… Christmas Eve.
-Happy 200th Anniversary, Silent Night!
-Solo Christmas.
-I made my own feast of roast beast!
-Then a lot of watching Doctor Who.
-Ralph Breaks the Internet
-Recapped the year.

So that’s that. Less than an hour to go before that big crystal thing in Times Square makes its descent. So did anything interesting happen? Capitals won the Stanley Cup. World politics continues to be totally cuckoo. Me? Didn’t manage to go on any excursions this time. A lot of my friends had an interesting year. I just sort of sat here and watched it all go by.

Maybe in 2019 I should do a little more again. Sounds like a plan. It’ll be along in half an hour…

*inhale* Here goes…

January: This Is Not Who We Are

-I wonder if this is a good idea after all.
-Cash only!
-Hidden Figures
-It happened. That thing is… sworn in.
-So tonight… the un-ball!
-Me: “And when some ultra-narcissistic loudmouth seeks the highest office in the land by supposedly speaking for us all when he promotes fear and hate and the ugly manifestations thereof, we have to say NO! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND SIT DOWN! THIS IS NOT WHO WE ARE!”
-Women’s March!
-Wow, two hours just to get on the Metro.

February: Overtime

-Falcons are kicking ass. Another year without a Superbowl going into overtime.
-Okay, the Falcons fell apart and the game is tied at the end of regulation.
-Python
-These people are driving me nuts.

March: Ten Hours Apart

-Python
-Finally, a weekend cold enough to go skiing.
-What do you mean you closed early for the season because it’s been too damn warm?!
-Well, I’ll just have to go to one further north.
-I still have a mouse in my house.
-I have a bad feeling about this event…
-Worse than I thought.
-And I just yelled at someone about it. Well, don’t put on an ageist event!
-Maybe I was harsh. Was I harsh?
-Hey, two NYRA babies born the same weekend!
-Got rid of the mouse, I think.
-So am I going to do this or what? And how?

April: Third Time’s the Charm

-Python
-Something about the zoo, old chemistry equipment, and a Canadian.
-March for Science in the rain.
-We are the cosmos made conscious.
-We are the means by which the universe understands itself.
-Act like it!

May: West Side

-What a nice birthday!
-COLD!
-Okay, I think we need a new water heater.
-Oh, that’s over now.
-Awww, Chris Cornell.
–Politics is getting violent!
-Something about fish, more fish, and a Canadian.

June: Radiculopathy

-I’m formulating a plan.
-Ouch!
-Oh, look who came back east.
-AwesomeCon! Something about a keyblade, a life-size dragon, and a Canadian.
-Ouch!
-I have a pinched nerve. Now for weeks of slowly subsiding arm and neck torture.
-Pier Six concert

July: Without Ceres and Bacchus, Venus Would Freeze

-Chili and ‘splosions. After seeing ‘splosions from above last year.
-Something about an art museum and a Canadian.
-I think I somehow got lost hiking on Theodore Roosevelt Island. LOL
-A long coming event comes rather unceremoniously.

August: 80 Percent

-Ah, white supremacist assholes in Charlottesville. Lovely.
-Eating bacon s’mores and weird Colombian hot dogs and Krispy Kreme burger at the Montgomery County AgFair. The fair fare, if you will… I’ll just show myself out.
–ECLIPSE!
-One of those times you get bad news that actually wasn’t all that surprising and it has the side effect of increased confidence in your intuition.
-And now I’ve got a cold for the first time in almost four years.
-I think it’s time for Kingdom Hearts again.
–Pizza pile!

September: Tabouleh

-New season of BoJack Horseman!
-Welp, now I’m traumatized.
-Middle Eastern Bazaar.
-I’m dabkeh dancing and eating tabouleh and the same time because why not?
-The words we’ve feared every day are said.
-Lots of bad hurricanes.

October: Rainout

-Nats game! I finally go on the last game of the regular season. They lost.
-Taste of Bethesda!
-Alright, finally calling them on their ageist bullshit, particularly what happened in March.
-Something about a rain delay, robots, and a Canadian.
-And… the Nats lost another NLDS Game 5 because of course they did.
-Dinner with three NYRAnians!
-Going to the auction with a keyblade.
-Finally booked the damn thing.

November: Kaleo and Po’okela

-Hey, Astros got their first World Series win.
-I think I overdid it on the hot chocolate.
-Time to go…
-Holy crap, I’m finally in Hawaii!
-Diamond Head and Pearl Harbor and some marine mammal friends!
-Black sand beach and Kilauea Iki and Chain of Craters and Mauna Kea!
-And back home.
-To Stone Soup.
-And Thanksgiving weekend to sleep off the trip.
-#27: Southern Cross

December: An Existential Question

-Again, not doing the entry a day thing anymore. Screw it.
-Meh, not sure I want to do Christmas alone again. I guess I’ll go to Las Vegas again.
-Winter Festival!
-Off to stop Glenarden, who lowered their voting age apparently without anyone knowing, from raising it again.
-Okay, Glenarden has issues and we want none of it. Let’s just go encourage Greenbelt to lower theirs as is planned.
-Cookies!
-Lights!
-Why in the name of hell did I decide to go to Las Vegas on Christmas Day again?
-I got stuck in hourly parking at the airport because everything else was full. It’s going to cost me a fortune!
-And enduring those few days.
-And back home to the very cold.
-And here’s this recap.

While 2016 was a lot of “because fuck you, that’s why”, 2017 was the unraveling of the very fabric of space-time, with event after event, be it personally or the world at large, being of the “is this actually happening?” variety. Cool stuff like some stuff that went on around Easter as well as going to Hawaii. And politics continues to boggle us all and lose all of any sanity it may have had, what with, oh, every time Orange Thing says or does just about anything.

So, 2018, what’s next? With 2017 and all its surprises drawing to a close, what are we left with? How much further can anything spiral, any which way?

I suppose we’ll just have to strap ourselves in and find out.

It’s over. It’s finally over. Well, let’s take a last look…

January: Science Is Everywhere
-New TV
-Zoo Lights
-Something isn’t right.
-Spice cookies
-David Bowie?! Awww.
-Oh, dear, that house had an electrical fire.
-Alan Rickman?! Awww.
-Something still isn’t right.
-Wow, big snow storm.
-Got to watch as much Doctor Who as I can before Netflix pulls it.

February: Wagner
-Muse concert!
-Something very much isn’t right.
-Superbowl! Chili and cookies as usual.
-Something is most definitely not right…
-Oh. Oh no.
-I… I waited too long.
-Unless I’m mistaken? Am I mistaken?
-What is going on?
-I’m… not mistaken. 🙁
-Soul searching late night drive. What do I do now?
-Wait. Is that a $72 roundtrip airfare to Chicago? Hell yeah, I’ll go to Chicago!
-Okay, I’ll go on a bunch of trips this year.
-Starting with a ski day at Seven Springs!

March: Kommissar
-What a bizarre board game.
-Goodbye, Downton Abbey.
-Zootopia!
-Lots of stories for Lent this year.
-Marzipan eggs!
-Brookside as usual.
-Solo Easter!

April: An Even Wackier One
-Now to the Outer Banks!
-But I won’t spend any money because I don’t want to reward North Carolina for their anti-trans bathroom asshattery.
-Up at 4am to go to the damn airport.
-Good morning, Chicago!
-The ledge at the Tower Formerly Known as Sears.
-Wow, that’s a weird pizza.
-It’s that painting you’re supposed to stare at, according to Ferris Bueller.
-Mmmm, Italian beef.
-Back to Midway. Back home. This was just a day trip after all. 😛
-My state’s turn for the presidential primary.
-Well, that was pointless.
-Now visiting the alma mater on the way to another day trip destination.
-Ah, the Ocean City boardwalk. Lots of kites!
-And a disturbing number of Trump shirts in the gift shops. -_-
-Mini-golf!

May: Sex, Drugs, and Sea Slime
-Damn. The orange swamp monster secured the nomination.
-Birthday!
-Now to Baltimore to go to the aquarium.
-What a bizarre book title.
-Ugh, damn it, Capitals.
-Ugh, everything else.
-Nationals game. They lost.
-Another Nationals game. They lost.

June: 11:45 Entry
-More meh.
-But I’m going to New York next!
-Catching a bus at 6am.
-Bus is late. Must rush.
-Got there just in time. Up the escalator.
-I’m here.
-At last, after 19 years, I’m atop the World Trade Center! 😀
-Brexit vote: UK, WTF are you doing?

July: Metro Center
-Next up: Flying out to Las Vegas for July 4th weekend.
-Then flying back over July 4th fireworks!
-Then landed to find TSA opened my suitcase. :irked:
-Meh.
-Something about the Newseum and a Canadian.

August: Inkers
-Rio Olympics!
-Road trip to Connecticut!
-Weekend in Atlanta!

September: Arnos Grove
-Nationals game. Hey, they won this time!
-The Bazaar is in October?!
-Here we go again, seven years to the day after I left last time…
-London!
-No sleep on the flight over, though. :\

October: Six Pitchers
-Mmmm, Bazaar.
-Damn it, Nats. -_-

November: For Some Reason
-Election Day, at long last…
-No.
-No, no, no, no, no.
-ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? WE’RE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THIS!
-Just… how? why?
-To airport super early…
-Hello, Magic Kingdom.
-What the shit? It’s November. Why is it so crowded? There’s never anyone here in November! :irked:
-Landed back at BWI. Why is my car not unlocking?
-Oh. I left a light on in my rush to make the flight. For five days. *grimace*
-I haven’t seen her in many many years.
-To Philadelphia and southern New Jersey. Something about an aquarium and a Canadian.

December: Foamed Milk on a Pumpkin Spice Latte
-Christmas.

Alright, 2017 ball up there in Times Square…

Get us the fuck out of here! :scared: