Category: Teh Interwebs

Various online findings, observations, stupid crap, etc.

Joe the President

July 21, 2024

What’s this? A little Sunday afternoon tweet from the White House occupant. Let’s see…

My Fellow Americans,

Over the past three and a half years, we have made great progress as a Nation.

Yeah, it is nice the virus is mostly under control and we don’t have to wear masks as much anymore. That’s what you’re talking about, right?

Today, America has the strongest economy in the world.

Contrary to very popular belief, per basically every poll.

We’ve made historic investments in rebuilding our Nation, in lowering prescription drug costs for seniors, and in expanding affordable health care to a record number of Americans.

Is this message just to lay out admin accomplishments to get votes? Hopefully people will see that not drowning in medical debt is more important than the spurious concerns about “illegal” immigrants the other side won’t shut up about.

We’ve provided critically needed care to a million veterans exposed to toxic substances.

Sit your asses down, Marjorie and Lauren.

Passed the first gun safety law in 30 years.

Not sure whether to be more shocked at it being 30 years or that one passed at all.

Appointed the first African American woman to the Supreme Court.

She gets to join Elena and Sonia in concurring dissents that amount to glaring incredulously at the other six.

And passed the most significant climate legislation in the history of the world.

If we want the world to have even more history, better keep it coming.

America has never been better positioned to lead than we are today.

“I think there’s still room for improvement.” -Gaza

I know none of this could have been done without you, the American people. Together, we overcame a once in a century pandemic and the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression. We’ve protected and preserved Democracy.

And a depressingly large chunk of these American people intend to vote for a guy promising to undo all this in a few months.

And we’ve revitalized and strengthened our alliances around the world.

“Hello?” -Gaza

It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve as your President.

Sure?

And while it has been my intention to seek reelection,

Ummm….

I believe it is in the best interest of my party and the country for me to stand down and to focus solely on fulfilling my duties as President for the remainder of my term.

Hoooooooly shit!

I will speak to the Nation later this week in more detail about my decision.

A disturbing degree of ageism and ableism from all corners? I know.

For now, let me express my deepest gratitude to all those who have worked so hard to see me reelected.

Namely the flimsy attempts to hypnotize us all into forgetting about that debate.

I want to thank Vice President Kamala Harris for being an extraordinary partner in all this work.

“All yours now, coconut tree lady.”

And let me express my heartfelt appreciation to the American people for the faith and trust you have placed in me.

American people: *exchange glances*

I believe today what I always have: that there is nothing America can’t do – when we do it together.

“Except maybe you can’t quit giving them bombs?” -Gaza

We just have to remember we are the United States of America.

That’s what our Dustin Hoffman-voiced substitute teacher wrote for us!

Well. Here goes…

A Big Sphere

January 1, 2024

Sometime ago, I was staying late at work for a meeting scheduled to accommodate three different time zones. One of the time zones was East Asia, and the person there was sharing her screen. I was weirdly delighted to look at the bottom right corner of the screen, where the time and date were the next morning.

And just last night, after we here in Eastern time zone (aka Best Time Zone) rang in 2024, there was the montage of celebrations from around the world when their respective cities hit midnight, truly a multinational joining in of the tradition of counting the years since Jesus’s bris.

It’s fun living on a big sphere.

It’s also fun living in a time with the technology where such a meeting like I was in and such widespread showings of worldwide new year celebrations is possible.

Our species began in Africa so extremely long ago, and from there we all just sort of wandered off. Across Asia and Europe. Over Indonesia and into Australia. Across the Bering into the Americas. We developed new appearances, new ways of life, new mythologies. And so scattered around the globe, we were isolated into our own little cultures and societies, knowing little to nothing about anyone else.

But over the millennia, we got to wandering again. We built stronger societies and developed commerce and sought to trade and learn from (and conquer…) one another. And over the centuries, the innovative species we are, we developed better means of travel and communication.

And now today we can get most anywhere in the world in a matter of hours. No vitamin C-deficient months on the high seas. Just hop on a plane and have the flight attendant bring you some orange juice, and you’re there by dinner time.

We can talk to most anyone in the world at any time. Within my own lifetime, talking to someone across the country meant an expensive and staticky long distance call. Knowing what was going on in some far flung place came entirely filtered through the mainstream news and leaders. Now you can just post and chat online with people directly and get the real story and a new perspective.

Some of us can fly way up into outer space and gaze upon the whole big sphere at once from orbit. Not just way-too-wealthy assholes flaunting their penis-shaped rockets over multiple impoverished countries they could single-handedly feed, but also satellites sending our signals around the globe and a space station made possible by international scientific cooperation. A mere 120 years after the Wright brothers got their weird contraption off the ground in the Outer Banks.

All the once scattered and isolated cultures know about and interact and intermingle with each other now.

All that time ago, we wandered off. Now we are in the age where our species has come back together again.

Happy New Year.

Musings on an Old Blog

June 19, 2023

Whoa! It’s different around here. I’ve caved and finally gone dark text on light background and, holy balls, is this a serif font?!

Anyway, I launched this thing way back in 2005. The anniversary was in December actually, and normally this might be an anniversary type post, but on that day I was battling a sore throat and nasty chills, glaring incredulously at my negative Covid test. I took another the next day which was positive, so that was a thing. The moral of the story is don’t spend Christmas with anyone. So, screw it, I’m thinking about this now, so here it is in June.

Other than the redesign process involving a lot of revisiting old material, I’ve seen a pattern among other blogs or even social media accounts I know. When I launched this thing, I was 22 years old. Back then, we were into George W Bush’s second term and couldn’t imagine a worse president. I firmly identified as Christian. I was living with family. I didn’t have a car or even a license. Hell, I even used to be pro-life! Flash forward to now, and I just turned 40 last month, I’m solidly secular humanist and decidedly irreverent toward faith, two of the three people I was living with are now deceased, my car is 16 years old and has been on its fair share of adventures, I think my current views on abortion rights are clear, and as I write this the Orange Thing is being indicted on 37 charges of mishandling classified documents among literally everything else about him. Back then I was also in my first term on NYRA’s Board of Directors, a role I would hold until 2015, as well as forum moderator, in its heyday at the time. I’m no longer with NYRA, and the forum has been gone for over a decade, but I’m still a youth rights supporter through and through.

So for sure both I and the world as a whole have changed. Why then do I keep writing to the blog I started so long ago? Even if posting has slowed. That brings me to the titular musings. Let’s begin with…

Coping with the past/younger self

I don’t like talking about a younger self as if that’s a separate unrelated person. There’s a direct line from past self to present self. I understand the urge to do that, because, holy crap, younger you was just so cringe, amirite?! So you distance yourself to maintain an image of integrity for the present self. Trouble is, because there in fact is that direct line, somewhere in there you made some change to “not cringe” (an assessment your future self may disagree with). And by distancing yourself, you erase that change or at least don’t indicate you even understand what changed. Maybe you didn’t actually change at all.

Continue reading “Musings on an Old Blog”

That’s Enough of That

August 31, 2020

Day 1: *looks at last year’s*

And then once again it’ll be May 24, to do this again in 2020, for round 20, whatever form the world will be in then. Whatever indeed.

Oh… oh man… Yikes.

Day 7: Brownies! Mmmm…

Day 8: No big deal, just cops attacking the journalists witnessing them attacking peaceful civilians, that’s totally fine and not at all abhorrent!

Day 10: Primary voting in the time of COVID.

Day 11: Just sayin…

Day 13: I’m not budging…

Day 14: Hey, JK Rowling, would you please shut the fuck up and sit your ass down?

Day 28: Eating fries for first time since before pandemic and this is heaven.

Day 29: Raspberry muffins! So sweet!

Day 33: Raspberry brownies! Look at those dents!

Day 36: Time for a goodbye.

Day 38: Nectarine muffins! Not bad, feels like it needs another flavor.

Day 41: A review?

Day 42: Berry cake!

Day 44: Still not budging…

Day 48: Time for another goodbye.

Day 49: Blackberry muffins! A little dry but tasty.

Day 51: The regeneration sequence begins…

Day 53: Strawberry blueberry muffins! Not bad but could be better.

Day 56: John Lewis

Day 61: Nailed it!

Day 63: Strawberry chocolate chip blondies! So rich! Like eating a syrup soaked pancake!

Day 68: Strawberry brownies! Very tasty, if my powdered sugar skills could use some work.

Day 72: Cinnamon nectarine blondies! WOW! This is the most amazing thing I’ve tasted in a long time. And I made it myself!

Day 78: Tarp trouble!

Day 80: And… it’s Kamala Harris.

Day 81: Blueberry cereal muffins! Hmm. Overestimated how absorbent the cereal would be so reduced the flour but batter was too wet. Still came out tasty, though.

Day 85: Blackberry cereal muffins! Slightly overbaked maybe but very tasty.

Day 87: Cool state roll call!

Day 89: Blueberry lemon blondies! They’re… awful. Underbaked. Flavors combined in a weird and off-putting way. Blueberries themselves are very good. The rest of it, not so much. Damn.

Day 95: Chocolate strawberry muffins! Very good. Strawberries practically melted into the batter. Not too overpowering but satisfying.

Day 96: Fight the power, NBA and WNBA and MLB and others. Proud of you.

Day 97: Chadwick Boseman

Day 98: You all remember we’re supposed to be social distancing, right? Because you’re not acting like you remember.

Day 99: I should bake but I’m playing a game instead. Tomorrow…

And finally…

DAY 100

Strawberry almond cinnamon blondies! Forget what I said three weeks ago. This is the most amazing thing I’ve ever tasted. And I made it myself!

As these 100 Day of Summer draw to a close, it’s a world quickly doing away with the old or just plain changing a whole lot. Such is the business of life. Time for another goodbye, closing out Round 20 and 2000 days of whatever this is.

We’ll see what’s next…

This has been Day 100 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 20.

Where’s My Monocle?

February 3, 2020

Yesterday was another Superbowl, a day about a sports championship that has ballooned into a showcase of weird ads, short midgame concerts, and admiration of owls. And a geography fail from someone we expect it from. Anyway, here’s another post full of embedded tweets.

Finished making game food but missed Puppy Bowl and they were playing something else when I came back. Hmm. Oh, well. Might as well see prelude to Man Bowl. #SuperBowl

Looks like pointless patriotic theater. Of course. #SuperBowl

Even I find it weird I’m making more of a holiday out of the #SuperBowl than I did for the World Series seeing as, one, I’ve barely watched any football this past season, and, two, my own damn team was in the World Series!

You see, celebrating notable players like that was nice and makes sense for the event. Flag worship does not. #SuperBowl
Continue reading “Where’s My Monocle?”

One Pursued

October 31, 2019

It began as it always does in the spring. And from there…


Continue reading “One Pursued”

Corn Syrup

February 4, 2019

Yesterday was yet another Superbowl Sunday, and as usual, I was tweeting and retweeting. So here’s some of the crap I was coughing up while the Patriots and Rams weren’t scoring like at all and Adam Levine was having an intentional wardrobe malfunction.

Anyway, let’s get to it. It was all mostly in one tweet thread, so I didn’t bother linking to the tweet directly for most of these since they are in there, and it started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this, it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss…

*shakes head*

By that I mean…

You get the idea. Also…

And so on…

sciville Food is made. Chicken chili, guacamole, and cookies. Time for break from Puppy Bowl to watch Man Bowl. #Superbowl

sciville Patriotic theater at an athletic event?! Blasphemy! I guess I’d better get down on my knee… that’s how you show reverence for the country and flag, right? #TakeAKnee #Superbowl
Continue reading “Corn Syrup”

Somebody’s Talking About It

September 2, 2018

Now for an insufficiently newsworthy edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

A form of clickbait that especially irritates me are the articles that feel the need to append something like “and nobody’s talking about it” to the title. Seriously, I will not click it if it says that no matter what the preceding text might have been about. It’s obnoxious. Cut it out.

For one, you’ve made clear from the get go that whatever isn’t being talked about isn’t what you intend to talk about either. Your point is to grandstand about this lack of coverage of the thing rather than the thing itself. If you want to talk about the thing, talk about the thing. And if you’re talking about the thing, hey, look, someone is talking about the thing!

Of course, this is assuming this assertion that said thing isn’t being talked about is even accurate. Oftentimes, when it’s claimed that the mainstream media is ignoring something, particularly if this is being stated in an image macro with no citations, one of three things is happening.

1. The thing happened ten years ago.

2. The thing isn’t actually real.

3. The thing actually is being extensively covered on the major news outlets which a five second glance at Google News would confirm, but the person claiming this either doesn’t check any news source besides their local half hour evening news or is more interested in manufacturing outrage than having an ounce of honesty, perspective, or social responsibility.

Insufficient news coverage of certain events is certainly an issue. I mean, the top priority of the news lately is “look what the Orange Thing tweeted now!” News coverage priorities leave a lot to be desired. Even so, sometimes important things fall out of the spotlight not because they’ve been resolved in any way (Puerto Rico, Flint water, separated immigrant kids, etc.) but because other stuff keeps happening. A lot of this is simply the reality of news media.

But, okay. Let’s say something that isn’t being covered well is finally getting more attention. All good, right?

Well, then I found this Facebook post of mine from a few years ago…

Saw an ad for the evening news earlier saying “How will the attacks in Syria be affecting your wallet?” … I just… don’t… words…

Sometimes saying nothing might be better.

Bird Battle

May 8, 2018

So, in this year’s second hockey related pleasant surprise, my Washington Capitals beat the Pittsburgh Penguins last night to advance to the Eastern Conference final. Yay!

I could discuss the six-game series and the plays and the sending the puck around and what all else hockey entails. Perhaps just lavish praise on the Caps players for breaking a 20 year DC sports curse. Perhaps, since I turned 35 two days ago, this new age means good luck for my teams, as on my birthday I went to the Nationals game and, what rarely seems to happen when I go to the game, they won! Last night too, though I wasn’t at that one, what with me having other stuff to do and the game being way the hell across the country in San Diego (with its very real risk of spontaneous swarms of bees).

But instead I’m going to devote this to the best thing ever…

The National Zoo in DC and the National Aviary in Pittsburgh going at each other on Twitter about the superiority of their respective team’s bird mascots! Enjoy! (Clicking the image opens the original tweet.)

Continue reading “Bird Battle”

This Is Actually a Tide Ad

February 5, 2018

So, as you can see on the sidebar, I’m on Twitter. Kind of on and off over the past nine years. But I always manage to tweet during the Superbowl, so here’s some of the crap I was saying and retweeting.

…

sciville As a Redskins fan, normally I want the Eagles to lose, but dear God, I’m so sick of the Patriots, so… *cringe* Go Eagles! *cringe* #atleastitsnotdallas #SuperbowlLII

sciville I saw the beginning of the #PuppyBowl. None of the puppies took a knee during the national anthem. Or at least Animal Planet didn’t want to show it.

sciville When my NFL team was last in the #SuperBowl, a Simpsons episode was made about it. A third season Simpsons episode.

sciville If you order delivery today (and have the option of not doing so I should specify), you suck. It’s a busy night for them already. Make your own stuff for the occasion or have something ahead of time.

sciville Oh, hey, something is coming on NBC right now.

(Retweet) ACLU Respect and love for America doesn’t require blindness to America’s failure to honor its promise of racial justice and equality. #TakeAKnee

sciville Well, with that “I’ll stand by you” ad, seems we’re getting started on the “feels” ads.

sciville Oh shit, the crowd is booing the Patriots! LOL #SuperBowl

sciville Everyone is sick of the Patriots, and the Eagles beat the Vikings to get there tonight. Minneapolis is just the wrong city for this today. #SuperBowl

sciville Take a knee. Take a knee! It’s anthem time.

sciville “I’m trying to watch the #Superbowl! If people don’t support this thing, it might not make it.” -Abe Simpson, Season 7, “Mother Simpson” #simpsonsquotesforalloccasions

sciville Three-pointer for Philadelphia! #wrongsport #Superbowl

sciville A trailer for a trailer. Trailerception. #solo #Superbowl

sciville “This is Bill Beeeeelichick.” -Eric Cartman #SouthPark #SuperBowl

sciville WOW!!! #touchdown #Superbowl

sciville “Can you survive the ground?” “Can any of us survive the ground?” #SuperBowl

sciville You have ONE JOB, kicker!

sciville And a few days after this, ‘lympics!

sciville Does either team have like any defense?

sciville It finally happened. Someone stole Morgan Freeman’s voice.

sciville This looks like a tweet, but it’s actually a Tide ad.

sciville o snap, no goal #youhadonejobkicker

sciville Wow, are three-and-outs still a thing? #Superbowl

(Retweet) sciam How much water weight can an NFL player lose during a game? A running back might drop four to five pounds, and a lineman might expend closer to nine pounds. http://bit.ly/2GNDgxK #SuperBowl

(Retweet) BoJackHorseman if they start performing their own halftime show im out [Pic of BoJack sitting in a living room with Hollyhock and her 8 dads having a Superbowl party]

sciville “It’s a burrito full of plants pretending to be meat.”

sciville Go home, Tide. You’re drunk.

sciville That is one #SuperbOwl. [NatGeo tweet about a Superb Owl.]

sciville GOOOOAAAAAAAL! #wrongsport #Superbowl

sciville The fuck was that, Febreze?

sciville Okay, who dropped $5 million on 30 seconds of blank quiet time?

sciville Keanu Reeves is surfing on a motorcycle through a desert. Your argument is invalid. #Superbowl

sciville Truly that is a #SuperbOwl [NatGeo tweet about another Superb Owl]

sciville Another GOOOOOAAAAAAL! For the other ones now.

sciville LOL kicking just isn’t there tonight. #Superbowl

sciville Australia. #thankgodthatsnotarealmovie

sciville I just assume every ad is a Tide ad until I see evidence to the contrary. #Superbowl

sciville What a #SuperbOwl! [Still another NatGeo tweet about a Superb Owl]

sciville Wow. The ball went through the uprights. Didn’t know that was possible. #Superbowl

sciville Time to turn the football game into a concert real quick and then turn it back into a football game real quick. #halftime #Superbowl

sciville *watches Pepsi Half-Time Show* *drinks Coke* I’m a badass. #Superbowl

sciville Minneapolis is turning purple!

sciville FYI, last time #Superbowl was on February 4 was in 2007. The halftime show act in that one was… Prince.

sciville Awww, what a #SuperbOwl! [Yup, it’s another NatGeo tweet with a Superb Owl]

sciville Oh, right, the game.

sciville The plot thickens. #touchdown #Superbowl

sciville Ah, company that profits from alcoholism is at least keeping people hydrated. *shrug*

sciville This isn’t actually the #Superbowl. It’s all a Tide ad.

sciville Announcers don’t like call stands ruling. LOL #Superbowl

sciville The Bud Knight is in the audience.

sciville Another Guardians of the Galaxy? Wait, there’s the Hulk. Some Marvel mashup? Er, no, it’s a Tide ad. #Superbowl

sciville Uh oh. Game could go any which way. Suspense! #Superbowl

sciville LOL Peyton Manning at Universal Studios.

sciville Agholor sounds like a villain in a 1960’s Hanna Barbera cartoon.

sciville HOLY SHIT! #turnover #Superbowl

sciville “Fuck you, waterfall!” -Jeep #Superbowl

sciville Patriots fans, switch to Animal Planet and watch the #PuppyBowl. You’ll feel better. Everyone else, also watch the Puppy Bowl. To celebrate. To just be cute attacked. It’s all good.

sciville They’re smudging that shiny trophy. #Superbowl

sciville There is a word called “everything”. It’s… the word “everything”. #Superbowl

sciville Okay, football is done. Is it baseball season yet? #imissmynats

…

Well, that was fun.