Category: Christmas Time!

From noon on Thanksgiving to midnight January 6… Christmas!!!

ZOMG! Christmas!

December 4, 2007

You know that feeling when the holiday spirit finally plops into you like a shiny festive ton of bricks? Awesome!

Today, at work, I decorated my desk area. Well, it’s actually up front in the reception area. On Saturday, I had gotten a little red tree with red lights and some red and green garland. I lined the garland along the edges of my desk, and set the little tree on a little table by the door. Only thing is the electrical cord is shorter than Galen’s dick, so I couldn’t move the tree very far from the outlet. Still looks all pretty.

Now with a festive work area, it dawned on me. Christmas is coming! And we all know what that means.

ZOMG, lights! ZOMG, tree! ZOMG, cookies! ZOMG, presents! ZOMG, songs! ZOMG, Christmas specials! ZOMG, decorations!

ZOMG, Christmas, ZOMG!!!

Oh, man, I love this time of year! Who couldn’t? Soulless losers, that’s who!

Wait, isn’t Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on tonight? Oh, yes, it is! Sweet!

Island of Misfit Toys. What can I say? It just speaks to me.

Snow Globe

December 1, 2007

Alright, just like last year, doing a new entry every day in December!

Let’s start with something rather odd I saw today. I was at Target and was looking at their Christmas decorations. In the back row, there were a bunch of snow globes. In these snow globes were your well-known Christmas characters, like Santa and reindeer and other cold-climate animals.

Except one of them contained… Darth Vader.

He was holding a list of names, the names being Star Wars characters. Luke, Leia, Obi-Wan, Han, Chewie, and other “good guys” were crossed out, while all the bad guys weren’t.

It was a musical snow globe. I wound it to hear that it played… Winter Wonderland.

Okaaaaaay…

Why Are You Shopping Today?

November 23, 2007

I hereby decree…

Don’t shop today, idiot!

Seriously. Why are you shopping? This is the day notorious for being the busiest shopping day of the year, mostly because the stores have collectively made it that way because the crowds arouse them. Can’t just have a sale last all through Christmas time. Have to squeeze it into the wee morning hours of the day after Thanksgiving, so some people can get trampled because they’ve been stirred up into a frenzy like the mindless cretins they are.

Stay home. Nothing is that important. What’s really odd are the ones who actually do go to the store at 4am or something. Screw that. Stay home and sleep. How much of a dumb redneck are you that you must be sitting outside Wal-Mart in the freezing cold in the middle of the night, waiting for it to open so you can buy shit for your redneck family and friends?

Then again, maybe this is overhyped. Stores might not be quite as bad as they say, but I’m avoiding them nonetheless. They also say stores are horribly mobbed the few days before Christmas, but I used to do all my shopping between December 20 to 24, and I always did quite well. Crowds weren’t terrible. So maybe this is the same, that only the media and conventional knowledge are trying to make it look like a disaster, way worse than it is.

And people wonder why so many unfortunate souls have lost any Christmas cheer. All this forced stress. It’ll kill anything.

The Pin Is On

November 22, 2007

That’s right, everybody. It’s Thanksgiving and past noon, so you know what that means.

It… is… Christmas Time!!!

Which means at noon, my put on my traditional Santa Claus pin which I wear everyday from Thanksgiving until Epiphany. Since this is the earliest Thanksgiving can be, then, yay, extra long Christmas time!

But we can first enjoy Thanksgiving. Lovely holiday. Based entirely around eating. That’s a win in my book. But, like with all holidays, some people just have to gripe.
Continue reading “The Pin Is On”

Stroke of Midnight

December 31, 2006

And now, for an annual, champagne-soaked edition of…

YOU SUCK!

So today is New Year’s Eve. It is the night people around the world watch the clock and when it strikes midnight, they cheer, get drunk, and try to sing Auld Lang Syne. Well, except for some people. People who irritate me to no end. So who sucks today? People who don’t stay up until midnight tonight.

And they get all cocky about it. “Oh, I didn’t want to do that. I was tired. I don’t need to do that. I’m better than you.” Whatever, loser.

So stay up tonight and watch the clock strike twelve. I command you! :doitnow:

On another note, I did it! I have made an entry every day of December now, as I promised. Thank God for Christmas. It has lots of stuff worth an entry. If I were trying to do this in like September or something, it would be much harder. Now I’m worried I won’t have much to rant about next December. Shouldn’t worry, though. There’s always something.

Oh, and go, Detroit Lions, for humiliating the Dallas Cowboys at home today. 😀

One Year

December 28, 2006

Now for a celebratory session of…

Here’s to You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, Eight Mine Fortress!”

That’s right, folks. Today the Fortress is one year old! Began with Sure, Why Not? entry This Is Eight Mine Fortress, Miscellaneous short story Crisis in the Pool, NYRA Tales song parody 88 Lines about 44 NYRA Forums Members, and Goodies Reposted list Top 10 List: Computer. And from there it went. Crowd pleasing. Pissing off self-righteous idiots. Opening Eights. Raising my glass in a toast to stuff that is awesome. Calling out stuff that sucks for how much it sucks. Sacred decrees. Chasing buses. All kinds of good shit.

So hang on tight. You’re in for another year. 😀

Not Over Yet

December 27, 2006

I hereby decree…

Christmas is not over!

Damn, you people are so quick to put all the ornaments and lights away. Just because you’ve already opened your presents and gotten sloshed on egg nog doesn’t mean it’s all finished and time to pack it up. Hell no. There’s another week and a half left. Really, its only purpose is leaving the decorations up, but, hell, why not?

It’s still Christmas until January 6, folks. I’m sure you’ve heard the classic carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas” a lot and wondered to yourself “what twelve days are they talking about?” Well, I’ll tell you what twelve days. It runs from December 25 to January 5. And January 6 is Epiphany, also known as Three Kings Day.

So, our decorations are STILL up. I’m STILL wearing my Santa Claus pin. Our tree is STILL lit. You are STILL a moron. That clear? Good.

Feast of Stephen

December 26, 2006

Good King Wenceslas looked out on the Feast of Stephen…

And all the other days it is. Boxing Day, too.

Not sure what these days are exactly. I’ll wander over to Wikipedia eventually and look. Meh.

Oh, let’s not forget good old Kwanzaa. Heard of it for years and I must repeat the question of that book on Futurama.

What the hell is Kwanzaa?

Yawn. Second Day of Christmas. Boring day, but still didn’t have to go to work. Coming down from the joy and excitement of the holiday. Oh, well. Still have “get drunk and stare at the clock” night coming up. 😉

Merry Christmas!!!

December 25, 2006

Not sure what to say, so I shot a video of me rambling in front of the tree.

Took forever to upload, but whatever.

http://www.eightminefortress.com/xmasvideo

It’s password protected so bots don’t download them and run out my bandwidth. They are huge files. You’ll need Quicktime to see them.

UN: xmas
PW: tree

This will only be valid for about a week, too.

And, yeah, there are two videos. For also included is the NEVER BEFORE SEEN video from last year’s Christmas!

But that’s my present to you. So rather than just reading my ramblings, you can see and hear my ramblings in my horrible voice. Enjoy!