December 23, 2010

Fifty Percent Capacity

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 9:57 pm

Now for a half-gone, half-replenished edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

No, you can NOT tell whether someone is an optimist or a pessimist or anything like that merely because of whether they say “half full” or “half empty”. I know, I know, you want to look all smart and insightful, to make whomever you’re saying this to start to see you as wise or some shit. I don’t know.

In any case, cut the crap. It means nothing. You sound stupid saying it. It’s mind-numblingly cliché.

December 1, 2010

Guilt by Demographic

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 12:04 pm

To begin yet another December Entry-a-Day Blogathon here on Sure, Why Not?, here’s a resentful, unforgiving edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

These anti-Semitic assholes who refer to the Jews as a whole as “Christ killers”. Drives me up the damn wall. They are so-called Christian assholes who hate Jews and want to excuse this feeling as justified because “oh noes, they killed Jesus!” Never mind that Jesus himself was Jewish, as were his mother and disciples! Never mind that it was the Romans who had at least as much a hand in the crucifixion as the Jews did, yet I don’t see anyone referring to Italians as Christ killers.

Of course, feels pointless to say that this is irrational. That’s a given. All hate is irrational.
(more…)

June 21, 2010

Kids Aren’t Any Fatter Than Your Head

Now for tubby, chubby edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

I’m so fucking sick of hearing about childhood obesity everywhere I look. It’s all “oh noes, kids are fat, kids are unhealthy, aaahhh!”

Alright, some of them might be above a healthy weight. So what do you do about it? Maybe they go play in the park a little longer. Maybe they eat some healthier foods. In any case, maybe the adults so involved with these kids’ lives should give the kids healthier options if they aren’t already. Maybe help them (and set an example by doing it themselves) develop healthier habits in general.

Of course, since when do adults actually take personal responsibility for helping young people do better? In ways other than finger pointing and berating the youth, that is. That’s right, they don’t, so they blame everything else they can. So the blame gets put on what mascots fast food chains are using or even, stupidly enough, whether the cartoons they’re watching depict fat characters! (Not to mention the slimming down of Santas I mentioned a couple years ago.)
(more…)

February 5, 2010

The Skinny

Filed under: Estrogen,Shut the Hell Up!,What the hell? — Katrina @ 10:26 am

And now, for a slim and slender edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

People who say shit like “OMG, look at you, you’re so skinny!” Sounding like they’re jealous. Sounding like they’re cheering for you. Sounding like both. They’re so sure they just made your day! After all, so long as you’re as skinny as humanly possible, your feminine life is a success.

Except it’s seriously fucking annoying! Hell, my sister even takes offense to that, finding it no different from commenting on how fat someone is, not to mention that being skinny often isn’t a matter of proper dieting or whatever to maintain an acceptable appearance but often a sign of sickness or being underweight (that’s right, folks, that’s a real thing!) when you’re trying to get UP to a healthy weight.
(more…)

December 5, 2009

Time on Your Hands

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 4:26 pm

Now for an idle, judgmental edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

People who use the profoundly asinine phrase “You have way too much time on your hands” or any variation thereof. It always crops up when someone demonstrates any amount of knowledge or not-so-important accomplishment that would require a lot of time devoted to it, or would at least seem like it. The knowledge or accomplishment may or may not be something trivial, or maybe just something the other person doesn’t like or understand. Usually it’s when someone thinks hard about something that in the grand scheme of things may seem unimportant.
(more…)

August 26, 2009

Leave Them Kids Alone

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 4:41 pm

Now for another screaming, yelling edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

This time, I’m talking to the asswipes who think it’s so clever and funny to complain that “oh noes, I’m out in public and I hear a little kid crying, parents need to control their kids!” Next person who says that is getting stabbed in the face (or banned from the forums, LOL).

A couple weeks ago, I was out with my mom and my five-year-old brother. I had to go with them to the zoo because my mom is a severe metro n00b, and the type of n00b who thinks she’s an expert which only makes it so much worse, so for their own good, I went with them and had to practically hold her hand through paying the fare and getting the tickets and pointing her to the right stations to go to. Seriously, look at this map, and considering we were going from Twinbrook to Cleveland Park, which as you can see involves no transfers or anything, it’s all that much sadder.
(more…)

July 30, 2009

English Privilege

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Assorted Politics,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 10:44 am

Now for a monolingual, patriotic edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

What in the hell is with these people who always scream and cry that, oh noes, somebody who is currently in the United States is speaking in a language (gasp!) that is not English? How dare they! This is an English speaking country and must stay that way. And the very good reason for this is… we say so. Yee haw!

Sigh. Here we go again. A bunch of so-called proud Americans have sewn an infallible fabric based entirely on how they were raised by their ignorant families and have decided that and only that is the proper way for all Americans to live and think. The basis for this belief, of course, is just simply that’s how they specifically were raised, and it must have been important because their parents beat the shit out of them if they so much as uttered a word contrary to these beliefs, so all others must obey these rules as well because, shit, their parents couldn’t possibly be wrong, could they? (Another example of how youth rights is always somehow present in just about any situation.)

Of course, I’m speculating, but that’s all I have to go by since I just really don’t understand how anyone can feel so threatened by the presence of non-English speaking people. Perhaps just general fear of anything different from oneself or at least what one is used to, just like the people who fight tooth and nail to maintain Christianity’s dominance, in that it makes no sense in the grand scheme of things but they do it because it is what is familiar and comfortable to them and thus must be enforced. Or perhaps it’s also the irrational fear that if English is not the only acceptable language, then it will be phased out completely and they’ll be forced to speak something else. Which, of course, is pure paranoid bullshit.
(more…)

May 26, 2009

Utah to Jack Thompson: STFU

Filed under: 100 Days of Summer,Shut the Hell Up!,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 10:49 am

I think I’ll join them in that…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Seriously, Jack Thompson, put a fucking sock in it already.

For anyone who needs the reminder, Jack Thompson is the disbarred (LOL) attorney who always has a bug up his ass about video games and anything else with content that he finds offensive. Not unlike the idiots in Wisconsin I talked about last week, he isn’t content just letting shit be and turning his attention to things that offend him less (as opposed to not offending him at all, in which case I’m not sure any such thing exists). No, no, he has to save the world from things that offend him. Is there a sizable number of people to whom these things are not offensive, perhaps enjoyable? Well, screw them, because it’s Jack’s feelings about it that matter, no one else’s.

If you need any more proof to his batshit insanity, even Utah is telling him to STFU. And because of that, he’s threatening to sue the State of Utah. Let’s see.
(more…)

December 11, 2008

Never Work a Day

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 7:47 pm

Now for an industrial, career-oriented session of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

It’s a cute little bit of “advice” often given: find a career you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. It’s often told to young people to encourage them to choose enjoyable careers. And, like most things commonly told to youth, it’s utter bullcrap.

Doing something for money has a strange effect on you, no matter how much you might normally enjoy that something. It still becomes work. Your job could be testing water slides and shooting off fireworks and eating ice cream, but everyday you’d still be grudgingly getting up to go all like “ugh, another day, got to go down another damn water slide and shoot off another damn firework and if I see one more spoon of ice cream, I’ll puke”.
(more…)

February 24, 2008

Language of Coffee

Filed under: Foodz,Idiot Box,Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,What the hell? — Katrina @ 11:54 pm

Now, for a caffeinated, beany version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Someone shoot whoever made those mind-numbing Dunkin’ Donuts ads with all the idiots looking at what they’re implying is the Starbucks menu with a bunch of weird sounding names, and acting like they can’t understand what it’s saying. “Lulz, is it French or is it Italian… or perhaps Fritalian?”

First of all, it’s Italian, morons. I don’t know where you’re getting French from.
(more…)

February 11, 2008

The Toilet Seat Thing

Filed under: Estrogen,Rants,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 1:22 am

And now, for a relieving, bathroom edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

OMFG! Shut your goddamn traps already, men AND women, about the stupid toilet seat argument. Chicks complaining it gets left up. Guys complaining about the chicks complaining.

New guest rant over on SnipeMe just got me thinking about this. Why do so many people find this worth their time to worry about?

Want to know what it is? It’s no different from any other household issue where something is not closed after being used or otherwise returned to how it was before use. Like if someone left a cabinet open after getting a cup.
(more…)

January 2, 2008

Regarding a Dick and a Dropping Ball

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Rants,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 7:33 pm

Now for a gravelly voiced, new year edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Will people quit complaining about Dick Clark still appearing on the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve thing? I’ve heard several different people who keep whining that “oh no, why are they making him still do it when he’s had that stroke and he’s all messed up?”

You know, it’s not like he was having a stroke WHILE he was on the air. He had the stroke several years ago, and it has since affected his speech. So his voice is gravelly now. So what? If the man wants to keep doing the show he’s done forever, let him. Does his speech insult you somehow? That’s your own problem. The man had a stroke and is still finding a way to get on the show and speak, even if not like before, even if for only a little bit.

Disabilities bother you? Tough! You remind me of the idiots in the Timmy 2000 episode of South Park, where everyone thought Timmy the handicapped kid should be kept out of sight and protected because everyone would just laugh at him. Screw that. Same with this. Everyone thinks they’re being some caring protector by thinking Dick Clark should stop trying to do the show, when really it’s just the messed up speech bothering them. Well, get over it. People have strokes or other medical issues, and sometimes speech gets affected and they don’t talk as well as before. It’s part of life and, frankly, it’s pretty damn great the New Year’s Eve show is still using him in spite of it. So quit your blubbering, assjob.

December 20, 2007

Pregnant Teen

Filed under: Estrogen,Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 11:05 pm

Now, for a knocked-up, scandalous version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Okay, so the media and commentators have been shitting themselves over Britney Spears’s 16-year-old sister being pregnant. We all know that a teenager being pregnant is like the worst sin in the world for some reason, but now it’s all over the mind-numbing celebrity news. For that reason, I’d leave it alone, but then again, kind of a youth rights issue, so I have to chime in.
(more…)

December 6, 2007

Fallible Family

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 10:45 pm

And now, for a warm and loving edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

These people who insist and insist that “friends come and go, but your family will always be there!” That might be true for some people. Not everybody.
(more…)

October 27, 2007

Internet Dangers

Filed under: Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,Teh Interwebs,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 4:20 pm

Now, for a technological, pixelated edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

These morons who just go on and on about how “dangerous” the internet is for kids. I swear, if I see one more talkshow host or whoever else say something like “get the computers out of kids’ rooms, it’s as if you’re leaving them alone with a stranger!” I’m going to scream.

No it is not, you idiots! A computer, even with internet connection, cannot grab your kid, jump out the window, and take him to a dark alley somewhere to do awful things to him. What the hell is wrong with you?
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October 13, 2007

Evil Reagan

Filed under: Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 2:29 am

And now, for a presidential edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

You idiots who say that Ronald Reagan had to have been Satan because his first, middle, and last name all have six letters, thus making him “666” somehow. Ronald Wilson Reagan. Yeah, each has six letters. So what?

It’s one thing to joke about it. It’s another that there’s people out there who actually believe that! Here’s some other names. I just made these up, but they very well could be names of people.

Thomas Albert Miller
Denise Sharon Watson
Evelyn Jeanne Madden
Justin Arnold McLeod
Gloria Alexis Tanaka
Joseph Edmund Valdez

There. Six random names. Names anyone could very well have. In each case, the first, middle, and last names all have six letters. So would that mean that any newborn baby given any of these names or any other possible 666 name would have to be Satan?

I mean, shit, can’t you just drop the superstitious 666 nonsense and just call Ronald Reagan a douchebag and be done with it?

January 31, 2007

Teenagers, Oh My!

Filed under: Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,Youth Rights — Katrina @ 11:27 pm

I know this is two in a row now, but here’s another set of people who seriously should…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

These whiny parents and grandparents who feel like they just have to make the same tired “joke” about the “ordeal” it is when their children are teenagers.

“Oh, kids are great, but then they become teenagers!”
“Wait until your kids are teenagers, then you’ll feel sorry for all the horrible things you did at that age.”
“Have teens around makes you age very fast!”

*headdesk*
(more…)

January 26, 2007

I’m Not Guilty, You’re Not Fat

Filed under: Estrogen,Foodz,Rants,Shut the Hell Up!,What the hell? — Katrina @ 7:43 pm

And now, for a deliciously, lipid-packed edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Why do people always think they’re fat?

I get this now and then. Someone (almost invariably a girl, but guys on seldom occasions) who is not fat starts complaining that she’s fat and needs to lose weight and not eat sugar, etc. Then, of course, she sees me, and is all like “How does Katrina stay so thin? She snacks so much!”
(more…)

January 3, 2007

L-L-Lay Off D-D-Dubya

Filed under: Assorted Politics,Christmas Time!,Rants,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 8:01 pm

Now for a political, oral version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Okay, believe it or not, I’m actually about to defend the president, George W. Bush. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t vote for him. I’m not for this “war” or the Patriot Act or for really any of his policies for that matter, although chances are there might be some here and there I might agree with, but not nearly enough for my support.

So, enough of the part where I tell the liberals to get back in their seats and extinguish their torches, time for some pwning.
(more…)

December 12, 2006

The Post of Christmas Presents

Filed under: Christmas Time!,Shut the Hell Up! — Katrina @ 9:05 pm

This season of giving, I must tell some of you to…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

God, I’m sick of these losers bitching about Christmas getting too materialistic. For this, I’m afraid I must borrow the line from the gun nuts that they spout ad nauseum. If people are getting too materialistic at Christmas, that is their own damn fault. In other words, Christmas is not materialistic. People are materialistic.
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