Oh, my God! Shut up! Just shut the hell up!
Now for a half-gone, half-replenished edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
No, you can NOT tell whether someone is an optimist or a pessimist or anything like that merely because of whether they say “half full” or “half empty”. I know, I know, you want to look all smart and insightful, to make whomever you’re saying this to start to see you as wise or some shit. I don’t know.
In any case, cut the crap. It means nothing. You sound stupid saying it. It’s mind-numblingly cliché.
To begin yet another December Entry-a-Day Blogathon here on Sure, Why Not?, here’s a resentful, unforgiving edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
These anti-Semitic assholes who refer to the Jews as a whole as “Christ killers”. Drives me up the damn wall. They are so-called Christian assholes who hate Jews and want to excuse this feeling as justified because “oh noes, they killed Jesus!” Never mind that Jesus himself was Jewish, as were his mother and disciples! Never mind that it was the Romans who had at least as much a hand in the crucifixion as the Jews did, yet I don’t see anyone referring to Italians as Christ killers.
Of course, feels pointless to say that this is irrational. That’s a given. All hate is irrational.
Continue reading “Guilt by Demographic”
Now for tubby, chubby edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
I’m so fucking sick of hearing about childhood obesity everywhere I look. It’s all “oh noes, kids are fat, kids are unhealthy, aaahhh!”
Alright, some of them might be above a healthy weight. So what do you do about it? Maybe they go play in the park a little longer. Maybe they eat some healthier foods. In any case, maybe the adults so involved with these kids’ lives should give the kids healthier options if they aren’t already. Maybe help them (and set an example by doing it themselves) develop healthier habits in general.
Of course, since when do adults actually take personal responsibility for helping young people do better? In ways other than finger pointing and berating the youth, that is. That’s right, they don’t, so they blame everything else they can. So the blame gets put on what mascots fast food chains are using or even, stupidly enough, whether the cartoons they’re watching depict fat characters! (Not to mention the slimming down of Santas I mentioned a couple years ago.)
Continue reading “Kids Aren’t Any Fatter Than Your Head”
And now, for a slim and slender edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
People who say shit like “OMG, look at you, you’re so skinny!” Sounding like they’re jealous. Sounding like they’re cheering for you. Sounding like both. They’re so sure they just made your day! After all, so long as you’re as skinny as humanly possible, your feminine life is a success.
Except it’s seriously fucking annoying! Hell, my sister even takes offense to that, finding it no different from commenting on how fat someone is, not to mention that being skinny often isn’t a matter of proper dieting or whatever to maintain an acceptable appearance but often a sign of sickness or being underweight (that’s right, folks, that’s a real thing!) when you’re trying to get UP to a healthy weight.
Continue reading “The Skinny”
Now for an idle, judgmental edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
People who use the profoundly asinine phrase “You have way too much time on your hands” or any variation thereof. It always crops up when someone demonstrates any amount of knowledge or not-so-important accomplishment that would require a lot of time devoted to it, or would at least seem like it. The knowledge or accomplishment may or may not be something trivial, or maybe just something the other person doesn’t like or understand. Usually it’s when someone thinks hard about something that in the grand scheme of things may seem unimportant.
Continue reading “Time on Your Hands”
Now for another screaming, yelling edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
This time, I’m talking to the asswipes who think it’s so clever and funny to complain that “oh noes, I’m out in public and I hear a little kid crying, parents need to control their kids!” Next person who says that is getting stabbed in the face (or banned from the forums, LOL).
A couple weeks ago, I was out with my mom and my five-year-old brother. I had to go with them to the zoo because my mom is a severe metro n00b, and the type of n00b who thinks she’s an expert which only makes it so much worse, so for their own good, I went with them and had to practically hold her hand through paying the fare and getting the tickets and pointing her to the right stations to go to. Seriously, look at this map, and considering we were going from Twinbrook to Cleveland Park, which as you can see involves no transfers or anything, it’s all that much sadder.
Continue reading “Leave Them Kids Alone”
Now for a monolingual, patriotic edition of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
What in the hell is with these people who always scream and cry that, oh noes, somebody who is currently in the United States is speaking in a language (gasp!) that is not English? How dare they! This is an English speaking country and must stay that way. And the very good reason for this is… we say so. Yee haw!
Sigh. Here we go again. A bunch of so-called proud Americans have sewn an infallible fabric based entirely on how they were raised by their ignorant families and have decided that and only that is the proper way for all Americans to live and think. The basis for this belief, of course, is just simply that’s how they specifically were raised, and it must have been important because their parents beat the shit out of them if they so much as uttered a word contrary to these beliefs, so all others must obey these rules as well because, shit, their parents couldn’t possibly be wrong, could they? (Another example of how youth rights is always somehow present in just about any situation.)
Of course, I’m speculating, but that’s all I have to go by since I just really don’t understand how anyone can feel so threatened by the presence of non-English speaking people. Perhaps just general fear of anything different from oneself or at least what one is used to, just like the people who fight tooth and nail to maintain Christianity’s dominance, in that it makes no sense in the grand scheme of things but they do it because it is what is familiar and comfortable to them and thus must be enforced. Or perhaps it’s also the irrational fear that if English is not the only acceptable language, then it will be phased out completely and they’ll be forced to speak something else. Which, of course, is pure paranoid bullshit.
Continue reading “English Privilege”
I think I’ll join them in that…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
Seriously, Jack Thompson, put a fucking sock in it already.
For anyone who needs the reminder, Jack Thompson is the disbarred (LOL) attorney who always has a bug up his ass about video games and anything else with content that he finds offensive. Not unlike the idiots in Wisconsin I talked about last week, he isn’t content just letting shit be and turning his attention to things that offend him less (as opposed to not offending him at all, in which case I’m not sure any such thing exists). No, no, he has to save the world from things that offend him. Is there a sizable number of people to whom these things are not offensive, perhaps enjoyable? Well, screw them, because it’s Jack’s feelings about it that matter, no one else’s.
If you need any more proof to his batshit insanity, even Utah is telling him to STFU. And because of that, he’s threatening to sue the State of Utah. Let’s see.
Continue reading “Utah to Jack Thompson: STFU”
Now for an industrial, career-oriented session of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!
It’s a cute little bit of “advice” often given: find a career you love and you’ll never work a day in your life. It’s often told to young people to encourage them to choose enjoyable careers. And, like most things commonly told to youth, it’s utter bullcrap.
Doing something for money has a strange effect on you, no matter how much you might normally enjoy that something. It still becomes work. Your job could be testing water slides and shooting off fireworks and eating ice cream, but everyday you’d still be grudgingly getting up to go all like “ugh, another day, got to go down another damn water slide and shoot off another damn firework and if I see one more spoon of ice cream, I’ll puke”.
Continue reading “Never Work a Day”
Now, for a caffeinated, beany version of…
SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!
Someone shoot whoever made those mind-numbing Dunkin’ Donuts ads with all the idiots looking at what they’re implying is the Starbucks menu with a bunch of weird sounding names, and acting like they can’t understand what it’s saying. “Lulz, is it French or is it Italian… or perhaps Fritalian?”
First of all, it’s Italian, morons. I don’t know where you’re getting French from.
Continue reading “Language of Coffee”