Language of Coffee

Now, for a caffeinated, beany version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Someone shoot whoever made those mind-numbing Dunkin’ Donuts ads with all the idiots looking at what they’re implying is the Starbucks menu with a bunch of weird sounding names, and acting like they can’t understand what it’s saying. “Lulz, is it French or is it Italian… or perhaps Fritalian?”

First of all, it’s Italian, morons. I don’t know where you’re getting French from.

And, um, your whole ad campaign is that you’re too stupid to understand the names of the products? While I admit Starbucks (and, oh, every other coffee shop out there!) tends to not explain just what certain drinks are (I had to look up Caffe Americano on Wikipedia, heh), that really has no bearing on the name being non-English. Despite the fact that you’d have to be really dumb to not figure out that name literally translates to “American Coffee”. And, even in plain English, that name doesn’t tell you much.

And what’s with the new ad they have out now with the woman trying to order a large latte, and the other chick keeps correcting her that it’s actually whatever word they have for large. In real Starbucks, the word is “venti”. Um, yeah, so the hell what if they call their large something different? In fact, going into a real Starbucks, even if you say large, they still know what you mean! In fact, their small size is called “tall”, which, last I checked, is an English word! Although, yes, it is a little amusing that the one called tall is the shortest one, hehe.

Might I also mention that “latte” is another non-English word they should be complaining about, yet in the ads, they’re advertising their latte? So latte is perfectly fine, yet “venti” is too much for your tiny brain?

Not that it matters. These ads will still appeal to a lot of people. Namely morons who hate Starbucks and like to latch onto any reason to bash them, even the most idiotic. As well as whiny assholes who are somehow offended by what sounds like “foreign” culture invading their pure American lives. By that logic, they should be offended when they go into a Japanese restaurant. Why call it sashimi? Call it sliced raw tuna, and speak English, because that makes a lick of difference in the product apparently. 🙄

So I guess my conclusion I draw from these Dunkin’ Donuts ads is that their intended clientele consists of anyone too stupid to understand the Starbucks menu, and is offended that the names look too “un-American”. Wow. I’m just speechless.