Language of Coffee, Addendum

February 28, 2008

Alright, I’m ranting about the same thing twice in a row. I must be out of ideas! Or I just have more to say the subject. Whatever.

As I’m writing this, I’ve got a venti (that’s right, venti, suck it, Dunkin’ Donuts) white mocha next to me, nice hot tasty drink on a cold day like this! While in Starbucks, I thought some more about the ridiculous ads Dunkin’ Donuts is running. Seriously, you’ve GOT to be majorly mindless to not understand the menu! That “your mouth can’t form these words”. What is this, the 1950’s? I mean, if anything, those ads are running at least a couple decades too late, if their whole campaign is, as I said a couple days ago, that Starbucks is bad because their menu isn’t American enough. Despite the fact that Dunkin’ Donuts’s menu isn’t THAT different.

I mean, I’m not even really defending Starbucks here. There’s lots of shit about them to make fun of, most popular thing being that there’s another one like every ten feet. And are they rather pretentious? Oh, absolutely! Some complain that their coffee has a “burnt” flavor, which it does sort of. Hell, I don’t even understand why anyone would drop the money for regular coffee there, since all I ever get there are the fancier dessert-type drinks. But complaining that your feeble brain shuts down upon seeing the word “macchiato”, epic fail.

Also, another thing I noticed in the ad with the girl trying to order a large. They totally ripped off the coffee/beer gag from The Simpsons! And not well. In “Bart vs. Australia”, Marge trying to order coffee while the guy kept thinking she was saying beer, then starting to spell coffee only to prompt the guy to start spelling beer, that was actually funny. This neuron-annihilating Dunkin’ Donuts ad with the chick starting to spell large while the other girl starting to spell whatever made up word they were trying to say was a large, very lame.

When on the Simpsons, Bart goes into the mall to get his ear pierced, and behind him, every single store is turning into a Starbucks (as is the place where he gets his ear pierced), that is actually funny.

South Park’s episode with “Harbucks” coffee coming into town and edging out the family-owned Tweek coffee, actually funny.

Lewis Black talking about how he saw the end of world, which was a Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks, and speculating as to just what the purpose of this would be, actually funny.

Dunkin’ Donuts running ads with a store full of people who can’t pronounce the drink names, incredibly stupid, kind of offensive, and I think I should sue them because the ads are killing my brain cells!

I’m thinking of making a point to go to Starbucks and Krispy Kreme every day until I stop seeing those ads. Haha. Heh, nah, I’m trying to save my money. I’ll just continue to not especially care that a Starbucks is ten feet from another Starbucks. If you’ll not mind I just wrote a rant four days after a rant on the exact same topic. :cute:

3 thoughts on “Language of Coffee, Addendum”

  1. I thought the ad was funny. And, it got Dunkin’ Donuts on your mind (and now the minds of your readers), right?

  2. If you thought it was funny, then you’re a moron yourself. Also because of that you say the same stupid “but you’re thinking about it now, right?” line. I already know Dunkin’ Donuts exists, asshat. So does everybody else. The purpose of the ad is to make people want to go there, which this ad has, as I pointed out, had the opposite effect. I want to avoid going there at all costs. You should too, if you have any brains, which I doubt.

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