Category: Shut the Hell Up!

Oh, my God! Shut up! Just shut the hell up!

The Toilet Seat Thing

February 11, 2008

And now, for a relieving, bathroom edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

OMFG! Shut your goddamn traps already, men AND women, about the stupid toilet seat argument. Chicks complaining it gets left up. Guys complaining about the chicks complaining.

New guest rant over on SnipeMe just got me thinking about this. Why do so many people find this worth their time to worry about?

Want to know what it is? It’s no different from any other household issue where something is not closed after being used or otherwise returned to how it was before use. Like if someone left a cabinet open after getting a cup.
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Regarding a Dick and a Dropping Ball

January 2, 2008

Now for a gravelly voiced, new year edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Will people quit complaining about Dick Clark still appearing on the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve thing? I’ve heard several different people who keep whining that “oh no, why are they making him still do it when he’s had that stroke and he’s all messed up?”

You know, it’s not like he was having a stroke WHILE he was on the air. He had the stroke several years ago, and it has since affected his speech. So his voice is gravelly now. So what? If the man wants to keep doing the show he’s done forever, let him. Does his speech insult you somehow? That’s your own problem. The man had a stroke and is still finding a way to get on the show and speak, even if not like before, even if for only a little bit.

Disabilities bother you? Tough! You remind me of the idiots in the Timmy 2000 episode of South Park, where everyone thought Timmy the handicapped kid should be kept out of sight and protected because everyone would just laugh at him. Screw that. Same with this. Everyone thinks they’re being some caring protector by thinking Dick Clark should stop trying to do the show, when really it’s just the messed up speech bothering them. Well, get over it. People have strokes or other medical issues, and sometimes speech gets affected and they don’t talk as well as before. It’s part of life and, frankly, it’s pretty damn great the New Year’s Eve show is still using him in spite of it. So quit your blubbering, assjob.

Pregnant Teen

December 20, 2007

Now, for a knocked-up, scandalous version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Okay, so the media and commentators have been shitting themselves over Britney Spears’s 16-year-old sister being pregnant. We all know that a teenager being pregnant is like the worst sin in the world for some reason, but now it’s all over the mind-numbing celebrity news. For that reason, I’d leave it alone, but then again, kind of a youth rights issue, so I have to chime in.
Continue reading “Pregnant Teen”

Internet Dangers

October 27, 2007

Now, for a technological, pixelated edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

These morons who just go on and on about how “dangerous” the internet is for kids. I swear, if I see one more talkshow host or whoever else say something like “get the computers out of kids’ rooms, it’s as if you’re leaving them alone with a stranger!” I’m going to scream.

No it is not, you idiots! A computer, even with internet connection, cannot grab your kid, jump out the window, and take him to a dark alley somewhere to do awful things to him. What the hell is wrong with you?
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Evil Reagan

October 13, 2007

And now, for a presidential edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

You idiots who say that Ronald Reagan had to have been Satan because his first, middle, and last name all have six letters, thus making him “666” somehow. Ronald Wilson Reagan. Yeah, each has six letters. So what?

It’s one thing to joke about it. It’s another that there’s people out there who actually believe that! Here’s some other names. I just made these up, but they very well could be names of people.

Thomas Albert Miller
Denise Sharon Watson
Evelyn Jeanne Madden
Justin Arnold McLeod
Gloria Alexis Tanaka
Joseph Edmund Valdez

There. Six random names. Names anyone could very well have. In each case, the first, middle, and last names all have six letters. So would that mean that any newborn baby given any of these names or any other possible 666 name would have to be Satan?

I mean, shit, can’t you just drop the superstitious 666 nonsense and just call Ronald Reagan a douchebag and be done with it?

Teenagers, Oh My!

January 31, 2007

I know this is two in a row now, but here’s another set of people who seriously should…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

These whiny parents and grandparents who feel like they just have to make the same tired “joke” about the “ordeal” it is when their children are teenagers.

“Oh, kids are great, but then they become teenagers!”
“Wait until your kids are teenagers, then you’ll feel sorry for all the horrible things you did at that age.”
“Have teens around makes you age very fast!”

*headdesk*
Continue reading “Teenagers, Oh My!”

L-L-Lay Off D-D-Dubya

January 3, 2007

Now for a political, oral version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Okay, believe it or not, I’m actually about to defend the president, George W. Bush. Don’t get me wrong. I didn’t vote for him. I’m not for this “war” or the Patriot Act or for really any of his policies for that matter, although chances are there might be some here and there I might agree with, but not nearly enough for my support.

So, enough of the part where I tell the liberals to get back in their seats and extinguish their torches, time for some pwning.
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The Post of Christmas Presents

December 12, 2006

This season of giving, I must tell some of you to…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

God, I’m sick of these losers bitching about Christmas getting too materialistic. For this, I’m afraid I must borrow the line from the gun nuts that they spout ad nauseum. If people are getting too materialistic at Christmas, that is their own damn fault. In other words, Christmas is not materialistic. People are materialistic.
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Your Right to Say It

September 21, 2006

And now, for the inaugural session of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Who would receive such a message? Not necessarily stuff I disagree with, although sometimes it is. Just stuff I’m sick of hearing and so are you.

Ironically, who should shut the hell up today? People who recite that stupid Voltaire quote practically every other sentence. You know the one.

“I don’t agree with what you say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”
Continue reading “Your Right to Say It”