The Post of Christmas Presents

December 12, 2006

This season of giving, I must tell some of you to…


God, I’m sick of these losers bitching about Christmas getting too materialistic. For this, I’m afraid I must borrow the line from the gun nuts that they spout ad nauseum. If people are getting too materialistic at Christmas, that is their own damn fault. In other words, Christmas is not materialistic. People are materialistic.

Just because some asshole will throw a hissy fit if he doesn’t get a PlayStation 3 this holiday, does not mean everyone who celebrates is like that. I’m not expecting any particular thing for Christmas, and not sure I ever have. Even when I was a kid, if there were something I wanted that I did not get for Christmas, I just figured I’d get it sometime later. Granted, I’m materialistic in my own way about other things, but not like this. I mean, if I didn’t get any presents at all, then, yeah, I’d be like “WTF?!” but I’m not overly worried about what they are. Seriously, you can go out in your backyard, find a stick, wrap it up, put a tag on it, and send it my way, and I’d still be grateful and think the stick was awesome. I’m weird like that.

What’s so bad about giving presents at Christmas? Last I checked, Christmas is a celebration of someone’s birth. Therefore, making Christmas a birthday! Birthdays tend to mean, that’s right, presents! Since the guy whose birthday it is isn’t physically here to accept any gifts, we just give them to each other to honor Him.

Take my advice, though. Don’t stress about buying gifts. Nothing you’d be getting is terribly necessary. It’s not a competition. You do not have to be totally extravagant. Just pick up a couple of little things that may be useful or entertaining or special. Simplify things. It’s the way I shop for Christmas presents, and even years when I saved it until the last couple days before Christmas, I still made out pretty well. Sure, I’m not a mother (despite yesterday’s entry) or anything, so I don’t have that central responsibility in all that, but even then, it does not have to be complicated.

As far as asking for presents, be simple about that, too. Don’t ask for anything you absolutely must have. Nothing you’d be upset about not getting. Don’t ask for anything too specific or customized. Stuff like that you’d be much better off getting on your own. Don’t ask for absolute necessities. Items can be useful, sure, but nothing you wouldn’t be able to get by without. Your Christmas list should be a guideline to assist your family and friends in finding a decent gift for you. It should not be mandatory. That sucks.

And don’t just give money as gift. That’s boring.

One place I went to last year when Christmas shopping was a Lindt chocolate store at Montgomery Mall. I got a few bags of their chocolate truffles, and I mentioned to the cashier that I hadn’t yet decided who I was even giving them to, but chocolate still makes a nice gift. He agreed, saying that all he gives as Christmas gifts are chocolate for the girls and liquor for the guys. Good call.

There’s a nice bit of advice when it comes to gifts. When all else fails, give something edible. Give your family and friends each a big ass Toblerone and be done with it. It’s enjoyable, it doesn’t take up space, it’s inexpensive and hassle-free, it’s perfect! Except for those heathens out there who don’t like chocolate. You don’t need to get them anything. 😉

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