Tag: Rants

ROOOAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Violent Video Games

August 13, 2008

Now for a gory yet clever edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, violent video game manufacturers!”

You people are so stupid. No, not the manufacturers. The general public. The manufacturers are quite intelligent. They see a mass of humans who will shriek at the mere idea of mixing kids and violence in any way (unless it’s violence perpetrated by the parents, in which case they’re all for it, but that’s another matter entirely). What does that usually mean? Lots of sensationalist news reports. So finally the video game makers thought to themselves “wouldn’t free advertising be awesome?”
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Chicken Fingers and PB&J

June 4, 2008

Now, for a cultureless culinary edition of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

So I was glancing through some menus of local restaurants earlier today while I was at work, making myself hungry. Italian. Tex-Mex. Asian fusion. Good stuff. But there was one common little problem each of these menus had, a common little problem very common to menus.

It was, of course, the kids’ menu.
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New Window

April 4, 2008

I hereby decree…

Open it in a new window!

Holy crap, I haven’t written an entry in a while! Oh, well, here’s a new one. Be happy.

You know what pisses me off? Sometimes there’s a program on your computer that for some reason or another needs to go to a webpage. Perhaps to download an upgrade. Whatever.

Oh, did I mention you already had your browser open because you were in the middle of reading a page on the Fortress and admiring its awesomeness? Yeah.

So you click the link in the program to bring up a browser window with the page it must visit. But you see no new browser window. You are confused.

And then you realize.

The stupid program made the page open IN THE BROWSER WINDOW YOU ALREADY HAD OPEN! :doitnow:

What the shit?!

What the hell is the purpose of that?! No, don’t open in a new window in a nice unobtrusive way, a way that doesn’t interrupt anything you might already have going. Just move the page you’re already on into the other page.

Go die in a fire.

Language of Coffee, Addendum

February 28, 2008

Alright, I’m ranting about the same thing twice in a row. I must be out of ideas! Or I just have more to say the subject. Whatever.

As I’m writing this, I’ve got a venti (that’s right, venti, suck it, Dunkin’ Donuts) white mocha next to me, nice hot tasty drink on a cold day like this! While in Starbucks, I thought some more about the ridiculous ads Dunkin’ Donuts is running. Seriously, you’ve GOT to be majorly mindless to not understand the menu! That “your mouth can’t form these words”. What is this, the 1950’s? I mean, if anything, those ads are running at least a couple decades too late, if their whole campaign is, as I said a couple days ago, that Starbucks is bad because their menu isn’t American enough. Despite the fact that Dunkin’ Donuts’s menu isn’t THAT different.
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Language of Coffee

February 24, 2008

Now, for a caffeinated, beany version of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Someone shoot whoever made those mind-numbing Dunkin’ Donuts ads with all the idiots looking at what they’re implying is the Starbucks menu with a bunch of weird sounding names, and acting like they can’t understand what it’s saying. “Lulz, is it French or is it Italian… or perhaps Fritalian?”

First of all, it’s Italian, morons. I don’t know where you’re getting French from.
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The Toilet Seat Thing

February 11, 2008

And now, for a relieving, bathroom edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

OMFG! Shut your goddamn traps already, men AND women, about the stupid toilet seat argument. Chicks complaining it gets left up. Guys complaining about the chicks complaining.

New guest rant over on SnipeMe just got me thinking about this. Why do so many people find this worth their time to worry about?

Want to know what it is? It’s no different from any other household issue where something is not closed after being used or otherwise returned to how it was before use. Like if someone left a cabinet open after getting a cup.
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Proprietary Fail

January 18, 2008

Lately, I’ve been thinking I should move away from free music downloading. There’s the fear of unsafe files, sure, as well as thinking I don’t need to be doing it. But I’m sick of buying CD’s. I hate buying a whole damn CD for only a couple of songs, and the other songs all suck, and seeing as whenever I get a CD I just load up all the songs from it onto my computer, and I just put the actual CD someplace on my shelf. And I’m running out of room!
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The Humiliated Teen

January 10, 2008

First, have a look at this news story.

It was early last month when Jane Hambleton of Fort Dodge found the bottle under the front seat of her 19-year-old son’s pride and joy.

Her next move was a call to The Des Moines Register’s classified advertising department:

OLDS 1999 Intrigue

“Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for 3 weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.”

The son soon found himself on foot. And the meanest mom on the planet became the target of accolades from across Iowa and beyond.

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Regarding a Dick and a Dropping Ball

January 2, 2008

Now for a gravelly voiced, new year edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Will people quit complaining about Dick Clark still appearing on the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve thing? I’ve heard several different people who keep whining that “oh no, why are they making him still do it when he’s had that stroke and he’s all messed up?”

You know, it’s not like he was having a stroke WHILE he was on the air. He had the stroke several years ago, and it has since affected his speech. So his voice is gravelly now. So what? If the man wants to keep doing the show he’s done forever, let him. Does his speech insult you somehow? That’s your own problem. The man had a stroke and is still finding a way to get on the show and speak, even if not like before, even if for only a little bit.

Disabilities bother you? Tough! You remind me of the idiots in the Timmy 2000 episode of South Park, where everyone thought Timmy the handicapped kid should be kept out of sight and protected because everyone would just laugh at him. Screw that. Same with this. Everyone thinks they’re being some caring protector by thinking Dick Clark should stop trying to do the show, when really it’s just the messed up speech bothering them. Well, get over it. People have strokes or other medical issues, and sometimes speech gets affected and they don’t talk as well as before. It’s part of life and, frankly, it’s pretty damn great the New Year’s Eve show is still using him in spite of it. So quit your blubbering, assjob.