I’m Sick of Hotel California

May 24, 2010

We all get sick of the newest, popular songs get the living shit played out of them on practically every radio station. That new Train song. That Lady Antebellum song. Just about anything by Taylor Swift. And if I hear Kelly Clarkson’s “Already Gone” or whatever it is one more time, I will scratch someone’s eyes out.

But songs don’t have to have come out within the past two weeks for you to get sick of their constant, constant, mindnumbing play. Hell, they don’t even have to have come out in the past two decades.

That’s right, this is about even classic rock songs that radio stations play the living shit out of. While any one of these songs might get fewer plays on a given day than any of the aforementioned brand new pop stuff, it’s also worse in a way because many of the overplayed pop songs will disappear without a trace in a month or so, while Fleetwood Mac’s “Rhiannon” and Steve Miller’s “Joker” and Journey’s “Any Way You Want It” have been getting played sooo much consistently for many many years.
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Milk or Water

May 20, 2010

I hereby decree…

You don’t have anything to drink.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone over to someone’s house, and been expected and invited, and when either I asked if they had anything to drink or they offered something to drink, and I asked what they had, they replied, “Milk. Water.”

*facepalm*

So, in other words, you don’t have anything. Who the hell goes to someone’s house to drink fucking MILK? Water might be okay, even though they’re usually just talking about unfiltered tap water.

It’s one thing if I’m just one guest, or one of two or three. But I’ve seen this even when someone is hosting a good sized gathering at their house, and there isn’t shit to drink besides those two non-options. And probably didn’t bother to tell the guests beforehand to bring their own drinks.

Maaaybe there might be juice. Depends what kind of juice. But that’s at least something. It actually has flavor. Same with iced tea, so long as it’s actually sweetened.

Or sometimes they might have juices, sodas, etc. Except they didn’t bother to put any of it in the refrigerator beforehand, so it’s all warm! Lame!

I don’t mean to sound like as a guest to someone’s house that means I’m entitled to them having stuff I like. Yet if I brought my own drinks without being invited to do so, could be seen as rude. *shrug*

Of course, got to wonder, is milk and water all they drink? Or did they just happen to run out of real drinks right before having guests over? Or is this a common case of hosting fail?

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m thirsty, and am going to get some orange juice. The kind fortified with calcium so I don’t have to drink milk! 🙂

Self-Sacrificing Saints

May 9, 2010

Alright, I think after not doing it the past two years, I’ll throw in yet another anti-Mother’s Day spiel. Why not?

Although, in a weird change of pace, I’m not so much attacking mothers this time but more the stereotypes and lofty expectations, the vision of what an ideal mother is supposed to be.

I heard a quote the other day (for those of you here in the DC-area, it was 97.1 WASH’s “thought of the day” they do every morning) which was something like “when there are four pieces of pie left for five people, it’s the mother who says ‘I never cared too much for pie anyway.'”

Another example. On a Simpsons episode from last year or so, at the beginning, the family is making these shoeboxes so they could watch the upcoming solar eclipse. They each have their own, but Homer is a dumbass and breaks his and thus can’t watch the eclipse. What does Marge do? Practically without thinking about it or even being asked, she hands hers over to him, and now she has to be left out of watching the solar eclipse (only to end up looking up anyway and getting blinded).

In both scenarios, WTF? People act like “oh, mothers are so wonderful, they never think of themselves!” Uh, not quite. More like they are expected to never think of (or for) themselves! Had Marge not given Homer her shoebox and told him “you broke yours, your loss, go to hell”, then she would have looked like a bitch. Had the mother taken one of those four pie pieces and someone else had to go without, she would have looked greedy.
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Athletic Apologism

March 27, 2010

So I’ve had the NCAA basketball games on to see just how hard I failed at filling out my bracket at work. Yes, I failed hard, but given how this year’s tournament has gone, so has everyone else.

During the ads, they occasionally play some NCAA ads showing the athletes also doing math or working in a lab or dressed all business-like in an office, saying (promising?) that NCAA athletes will end up going pro in something other than sports.

Alright, I know “smart” people (if I count as that is certainly arguable) shouldn’t say things like what I’m about to say, but I’ve seen little real reason otherwise.

Being a professional athlete is still a legitimate career. Just as much as any teacher, scientist, office manager, etc. Therefore, I find it absurd the NCAA has to practically apologize for showing college students, who are apparently supposed to be training themselves to be the next great intellectual leaders, out playing with a big orange ball instead of doing math problems. That playing basketball or whatever other sport isn’t “intelligent” but just a waste of time (that we make ill-fated bets on). Which, of course, is all kinds of bullshit.
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March Forth!

March 4, 2010

Now for a scholarly, collegiate edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, college protesters!”

Today, March 4th (“march forth”, get it?! ha ha ha), at a fuckton of colleges around this country students are occupying their school buildings and even interstates! It’s a beautiful thing!

What for? What else? Tuition keeps going up, yet there are constant layoffs, lower quality education, cut programs, and all kinds of other ways the students are getting the royal screw job. So GOOD FOR THEM for all their activities today, standing up for themselves! I’m at awe at all that has gone on!

Look at this! A map of all the day’s student protests and occupations. Look at that! Holy crap!

Look at all that has happened! Mostly in California, but also stuff right around here at good old College Park. 😀

Go here for more info on everything.

Yay, students! Kick some ass! :doitnow:

Mmmm, Candy Hearts 5

February 14, 2010

*munches candy hearts*

Alright, for this fifth installment, what else is stupid about relationships?

Couples who seem to think they have a monopoly on each other’s personal relationships with anyone. Like a guy who is talking to a girl, and the girl’s boyfriend comes up to him all like “hey, what the fuck are you doing talking to my girlfriend?” Even if the conversation couldn’t be less about sex or any other “incriminating” topic.

Though of course it’s just a TV show, just like on House when he’s having all those hallucinations about Amber, and at first he lied to Wilson about it to say he was imagining Kutner instead, until he accidentally lets slip that it’s really Amber, and Wilson is all like “why are you hallucinating about my dead girlfriend?” Yeah, right, Wilson, not like House knew Amber as anything else. Not like she was the last person removed from his reality show-esque competition for his new diagnostic team. Not like she was already in his life before you were ever with her. Nope, she became your girlfriend and suddenly everything about her had to go through you. :rolleyes:
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The Skinny

February 5, 2010

And now, for a slim and slender edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

People who say shit like “OMG, look at you, you’re so skinny!” Sounding like they’re jealous. Sounding like they’re cheering for you. Sounding like both. They’re so sure they just made your day! After all, so long as you’re as skinny as humanly possible, your feminine life is a success.

Except it’s seriously fucking annoying! Hell, my sister even takes offense to that, finding it no different from commenting on how fat someone is, not to mention that being skinny often isn’t a matter of proper dieting or whatever to maintain an acceptable appearance but often a sign of sickness or being underweight (that’s right, folks, that’s a real thing!) when you’re trying to get UP to a healthy weight.
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Stem Cells

February 3, 2010

What the hell is the big controversy over stem cells?

Abortions are still going to happen, as are regular miscarriages for that matter, so the embryos aren’t going to turn into people anyway. But their stem cells are a gold mine of medical innovation! It’s like the little guys didn’t make it to post-uterine life, yet they still get to do some good in the world by giving their cells to help save lives.

Yet, to crazy anti-choice assholes, this isn’t good enough. And I call them anti-choice and not pro-life in this case because they really have no business calling themselves that when this is how their morals manifest, in railing against something that will preserve life. To them, because abortion is wrong, that means using stem cells is wrong.

Yeah, because women totally only get abortions to donate stem cells! Didn’t you know? Not because of life circumstances that make carrying the pregnancy to term extremely unfeasible, but because they want to contribute to DEATH SCIENCE!!! Right…

I mean, if someone is shot to death, but some of their organs are viable enough to donate, would you protest the transplant because the organs only became available because of the sin of murder? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Headlights

January 8, 2010

A little message to fellow motorists out there. You know those two bright things on the very front of cars? Those are called headlights. Turn them on.

Oh, what, you think because you can see the road pretty well you don’t need to turn them on? If it’s a bright sunny day, sure. Oh, but you think that even though it’s dawn or dusk and it’s not very light out, you can still see the road alright? Maybe so. Oh, you can still see the road alright even though it’s overcast? Perhaps you can.

Just one problem. Headlights exist for two reasons. Sure, you may figure you don’t have to be bothered to turn them on if magnificent you can see the road. But you still need them on, because, what you fail to comprehend… nobody else can see YOU!

So don’t bitch if someone from the other direction making a left turn in front of you may do it without leaving you ample room. Because, chances are, that driver did not even see you approaching! You’re lucky it was only a close-call, dumbass. And the myriad of other situations on the road where it’s helpful for the preservation of one’s life to be able to, you know, see the other cars. If I get into an accident because I can’t see one of you assholes trying to preserve your headlights or whatever, I’m going to punch you in the face. And, hey, I just might find a blunt object and break your precious headlights!

So turn on the headlights, jerkass!