Mmmm, Candy Hearts 5

*munches candy hearts*

Alright, for this fifth installment, what else is stupid about relationships?

Couples who seem to think they have a monopoly on each other’s personal relationships with anyone. Like a guy who is talking to a girl, and the girl’s boyfriend comes up to him all like “hey, what the fuck are you doing talking to my girlfriend?” Even if the conversation couldn’t be less about sex or any other “incriminating” topic.

Though of course it’s just a TV show, just like on House when he’s having all those hallucinations about Amber, and at first he lied to Wilson about it to say he was imagining Kutner instead, until he accidentally lets slip that it’s really Amber, and Wilson is all like “why are you hallucinating about my dead girlfriend?” Yeah, right, Wilson, not like House knew Amber as anything else. Not like she was the last person removed from his reality show-esque competition for his new diagnostic team. Not like she was already in his life before you were ever with her. Nope, she became your girlfriend and suddenly everything about her had to go through you. :rolleyes:

Listen up, couple people. Your significant other’s social life is not your property. If your girlfriend is hanging out some evening with her friends, even if some or all of them are male, so fucking what? If your boyfriend is at a strip club with his buddies, and even if some of those buddies are female, so fucking what? Do you really have such a low opinion of yourself as this person’s boyfriend or girlfriend that you think he or she will run off with the first person who gives him or her a kind smile? Of course, if you’re this paranoid and controlling, you probably are.

And, honestly, if your significant other does leave you for the one who supplies a kind smile, well, good riddance. The person was never very loyal or committed to begin with then, so hold out for someone more stable. If you’ve got a stable person, and if you are one, there’s no need to get all pissy if someone of your gender is friends with him/her.

While I’m hovering around the topic, I also want to blast the idiots who think they can break up a couple because they want one of them for their own. Probably goes without saying, but that is an extremely shitty, pathetic thing to do. I mean, what they’re after, if they actually think they’d be successful, is to break up a relationship, causing heartbreak and sadness. It’s cruel, selfish, and doesn’t really make a lot of sense. If successful, you’re just proving the person can be pulled away from an otherwise good relationship, thus not a very prize catch there. You’re also showing profound disregard for your apparent loved one’s judgment, believing you know better than he or she does about whom to choose for his/her own lover. Of course, no one except the people in the relationship can actually break it up, which makes you all that much more arrogant. So, seriously, if you’re looking at a couple and wanting to somehow lure the one of them you like away from the other person and into your somehow superior arms, fuck you.

So quit the jealous asshattery already. It only leads to fail.

*eats more candy hearts*