The Prettiest Sight to See

December 14, 2013

Alright, let’s sing again. Because it’s fun. Because it’s Christmas time. Because, dear God, it’s barely middle of the month and I’m already tapped out.

Anyway…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

That it is. Though some people have been bitching about this since September. And by bitching that it’s looking like Christmas, it means some KMart decided to get a jump on garland sales and suddenly it’s “Eeek, Christmas creep!”

Take a look at the Five and Ten
Glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow

Is this before or after Bryan Adams got his first real six-string?

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Soon the bells will start
But the thing that will make them ring
Is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.

Either that or just singing and using your hands to ring a bell. Hearts are better at the whole blood pumping thing.

A pair of hop-along boots
And a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Ah, a couple of Second Amendment supporters I see.

Dolls that can talk
And can go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen.

Gender binary!

And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again!

Go fuck yourself and die.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

Cool. How so?

There’s a tree in the grand hotel

I should think so.

One in the park as well
The sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow.

A tree that doesn’t mind snow. Also known as… a tree.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in every store

Didn’t Barnes and Noble use to be a bookstore?

And the prettiest sight to see
Is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

My decorations are better than your decorations! :doitnow:

In Sin and Error Pining

December 12, 2013

Alright, it’s not Christmas Eve yet, but let’s sing!

O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining

Sounds lovely.

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.

Huh. Seem to know a lot about someone who was apparently only just born. What if he doesn’t want to be a Savior? What if he wants to be a ballroom dancer?

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Poor world. 🙁

Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth

Soul feeling worth is needed, but does it have to rely on him? And can it still feel worth if he does go the ballroom dancing route?

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Yay! It’s a new day! 🙂

Fall on your knees

Ouch! That’ll mess up the new day if your knees are sore.

Oh hear the angel voices

It must just be some drunks in a nearby tavern. Same diff.

Oh night divine, oh night
When Christ was born

Oh, that’s who you’ve been talking about!

Oh night, oh holy night
Oh night divine!

Still, ballroom dancing is probably a lot less excruciating than being crucified. Probably.

Second verse!
Continue reading “In Sin and Error Pining”

Same Old Songs

December 23, 2012

New Christmas music gets made still. Sort of. I think Rod Stewart released a new Christmas album. Michael Buble released one a year or two ago. Plenty of singers like to do the usual Christmas album, because why not?

Except it’s usually the same damn songs. Do we really need more versions of Let It Snow, or It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, or It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, or I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? Or any others that have already been done to death?

Writing a new Christmas song, of course, takes extra work, and God knows that one is a crapshoot anyway. You might get something fun like Christmas Wrapping, something cute like Dominick the Donkey, something depressing like Same Auld Lang Syne, or something godawful and fit for the bowels of hell like Christmas Shoes.

But there’s a zillion Christmas songs already, lots of material for an album of covers. They don’t need to stick to the same old ones. There isn’t a lot of chance they’re going to contribute much to them that hasn’t been done before. Just open up a few Christmas song books and look for stuff that people might generally know but doesn’t get done much. Even excluding the Jesus ones (an exclusion not usually made, though) there’s still a decent selection.

And yet even with all that considered, they’ll still be like “hey, you know what? there should be another rendition of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town!”

Either that, or the same old Santa Claus Is Coming to Town or Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree are the only ones anyone is willing to promote or play. :irked:

Coventry Carol

December 17, 2012

Ever heard of Coventry Carol? Yeah, didn’t think so. It’s an obscure Christmas carol, existing pretty much only in choirs and whatnot.

Anyway, check it out:

Lullay, thou little tiny child
By by lully lullay
Lullay thou little tiny child
By by lully lullay

Yeah, yeah… lots to, um, think about there. That’s, um, some deep stuff.

Anyway, second verse:

O sisters too how may we do
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling for whom we sing
By by lully lullay

Wait… what was that?!

This poor youngling for whom we sing

You know what this means?!

youngling

Of course! It’s so obvious!

JESUS WAS A JEDI!!!

Out of Context

December 19, 2011

Common Christmas time song is “You’re a Mean One, Mr. Grinch”. The song is a list of how awful this Mr. Grinch guy is. To someone unfamiliar with “How the Grinch Stole Christmas” (theoretically, since I’m not sure such a person exists), hearing this song among all the other Christmas songs might seem a little odd. Because, really, standing alone, the song makes no sense, nor does it explain why said Mr. Grinch is so horrible. It doesn’t explain it’s because he’s robbing a whole lot of houses on Christmas Eve out of spite.

But we all know that story, so it seems appropriate to hear the song among Christmas music. It’s funny how often this can happen.

If you’re a fan of The Sopranos, you know that one of the characters’ nicknames is Big Pussy, usually shortened to just Pussy. So thinking of the show, you might find yourself talking about things that happen, saying “pussy” a lot, and someone overhearing this who’s not familiar with the show might be like “what?!” I’ve had that happen a couple times!

Welcome, Step In

December 12, 2011

So just like every year, I’ve been preparing and sending NYRA’s holiday cards, and my soundtrack for this task has been 97.1 WASH’s 24/7 Christmas music on the stupid I Heart Radio streaming thing. Something that, as a cursory glance through the Musical Musing category will tell you, I have a rather complicated relationship with!

One popular and of course overplayed song is Elton John’s “Step Into Christmas”. Not bad.

Then I noticed something about the song I never noticed before.

The first line of the song is… “Welcome to my Christmas song!”

Um, thanks, Elton! I guess.

You see, that’s the kind of lyrics that really makes you think.

Even if just thinking he should go back to Chef for more help with them.

What I Won’t Miss

December 27, 2010

So last night at midnight, 97.1 finished up their six weeks of Christmas songs and switched back to their regular crap. Bleh.

It’s always a little sad. The festive songs get put away until next November and they’re back to the normal work-safe light rock and pop stuff. No more Sleigh Ride. No more Silver Bells. No more Winter Wonderland. No more Frosty the Snowman. Sigh.

But of course, there are the ones I will not miss. Namely, ones I’ve ranted about before. Santa Claus Is Coming to Town. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus. It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas (especially that obnoxious Perry Como version!). And others.

And… The Christmas Shoes.

Yeah, you know the one I mean. About the guy in line to buy presents who’s in a Charlie-Brown-ish “what’s the point?” mindset, and a boy in front of him is trying to buy shoes for his dying mother.
Continue reading “What I Won’t Miss”

Old Songs Are Old

December 10, 2010

You know what’s cool about some Christmas carols? Like the super old ones, like Silent Night and Hark the Herald Angels Sing? They’ve been around a long ass time.

I was watching the 1938 version of A Christmas Carol this evening, and when Scrooge is with Christmas Present he’s watching his nephew and the Cratchits in church. Where everyone was singing O Come All Ye Faithful. And then I just got this feeling, that this movie from 1938, about a story written and taking place in like 1850 or so, features a church service where they are singing O Come All Ye Faithful. The very same O Come All Ye Faithful I’ll be singing at a church service on Christmas Eve here in 2010.

Times like this I understand more why people cling to their religions and/or traditions. Not so much necessarily any ideological reasons, but that belonging to some long-running chain of events, that makes one feel part of that something bigger, yet in a sense that each one of us is significant in it. Something like that.

When I went to London last year, I visited Saint Paul’s Cathedral, which has been there for like over a millennium. Or, more accurately, since it was rebuilt after that big ass London fire in like 1666 or something, but in any case, that site has been used for religious purposes for that millennium or so. While I was there, they did a quick afternoon service and some choir was singing. And I thought while sitting there that here I was, witnessing yet another service in the countless number of them that had been going on there since so very many centuries ago. Neat.

Christmas songs are perhaps my favorite thing about the season, what with embodying all the traditions have been swept into the veritable Katamari that Christmas is, as well as the general joy. And music is fun anyway!

And I wonder that a century from now, two centuries from now, they’ll still be singing Silent Night and Angels We Have Heard on High, as well as the newer but just as fun and meaningful songs, and the even more Christmas songs that have yet to be composed. Now that’s what I call seeing Christmas Past, Present, and Future!

The One About Jesus

December 9, 2010

Did I ever tell you the story about Santa Claus? He’s the guy who lives at the North Pole for some reason and has a magic sleigh and reindeer with which he zips around the world Christmas Eve night and delivers presents to everyone!

Did I ever tell you the one about Santa’s ninth reindeer, Rudolph? He was born with a glowing red nose, and the other reindeer bullied him over it, until one foggy Christmas Eve, when Santa couldn’t fly anywhere because magic sleighs and flying reindeer are no match for ordinary fog that apparently covers the entire world, they realized Rudolph’s red nose makes a fine fog light, so they were able to go out after all.
Continue reading “The One About Jesus”

Kids at Christmas

December 7, 2010

I almost don’t think I should write about this since I’m sort of repeating stuff I’ve said quite a bit already. But, screw it, here’s another!

Right now, I’m at work and getting ready to send the first batch of NYRA’s holiday cards (yay!) and have 97.1 streaming online, the DC version of the generic Clear Channel light rock station that carries that annoying Delilah show in evenings and in December plays 24/7 Christmas music (with a few Chanukah songs thrown in here and there so they can pretend they’re all inclusive). I love Christmas music, I’ve been over this many times, yet there are several songs, which I’ve also mentioned before here and here and here and here and here, which are awful and keep getting played for some reason. Two of the worst are “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”. While the latter thankfully doesn’t seem to be getting played quite as much this year, the former is of course getting played over and over.
Continue reading “Kids at Christmas”