Thirty Second Pissing Contest

December 8, 2009

You know what I’m sick of? Commercials that are basically nothing but a pissing contest between two rival companies. You get pretty much no actual information about their products. Just basically “the other guy sucks ass!” I mean, true, that’s about what advertising is, but it seems to be less about advertising and more about expensively airing a stupid spat.

I know right now we’re all thinking of the same spat. Microsoft vs. Mac. The “I’m a PC” crap versus the “I’m a Mac” crap. The Mac ads with the conversation with the “hip, young Mac” against the “old stuffy PC”, so they’re at least mildly ageist. And the PC ads all like “Macs are expensive and shitty, lulz”. Goddamn, STFU both of you.

It’s bad enough our entertainment is being interrupted to view these things, but they also are mindnumbing.
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Not Again

December 29, 2008

So I was at the grocery store today and needed some more soda. I go to the aisle and see the 12-packs of Coke are on sale. I always get Vanilla Coke because it’s awesome stuff.

Except this time, there didn’t seem to be any.


You know, I like totally got hooked on this stuff when it came out in the summer of 2002. Like regular Coke but with a bit of vanilla yumminess. Then 2005 ended and it disappeared from the shelves. :irked:

But not long later it returned. Yay! I was happy again.

And now it seems to be gone again. 🙁

Goddamn it, Coca Cola, stop jerking me around. It’s bad enough you don’t sell Five Alive in this country anymore and I’d have to go all the fucking way to Canada to get some. Then you’ve got this yo-yo act with Vanilla Coke. You fucking suck! :doitnow:

Three Square Meals

December 3, 2008

Whose dumbass idea was it that we have to eat three full-sized meals per day, whereas snacking is discouraged?

You know who has the right idea? The Greeks. And some other Mediterranean cultures (take your pick, very little difference). Specifically the concept of “mezze”. They’re like appetizers, but a lot of them, different ones. Some dolmathakia here. Some melitzanosalata and some pita bread there… Okay, fine, rather, some stuffed grape leaves here and some eggplant dip with pita bread there… *mutters something about uncultured swine*
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Chicken Fingers and PB&J

June 4, 2008

Now, for a cultureless culinary edition of…


So I was glancing through some menus of local restaurants earlier today while I was at work, making myself hungry. Italian. Tex-Mex. Asian fusion. Good stuff. But there was one common little problem each of these menus had, a common little problem very common to menus.

It was, of course, the kids’ menu.
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Trix Wisdom

April 28, 2008

Now for a teasing, fruity version of…


Something I can say for sure that has irked me for pretty much my entire life are Trix cereal commercials. You know, you’ve got a bunch of kids enjoying Trix and the rabbit wants some, but he is denied time after time because of the classic retch-inducing line: “Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids!”

So ever since I was a tiny little kid and on through to today, on the rare occasion I still watch anything early enough in the day for a Trix ad to come on, I’ve watched that poor animated rabbit suffer the jeers and taunts of the animated people refusing him a cereal he has desperately wanted. He’s had to resort to outright stealing to entering contests on the quick to disguises to whatever else, all of which could be avoided if the kids would learn to fucking share. I mean, it’s kids these ads are aimed for. But what does it teach them? Entitlement based on superficial factors. Bigotry. Selfishness. Arrogance.
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Language of Coffee, Addendum

February 28, 2008

Alright, I’m ranting about the same thing twice in a row. I must be out of ideas! Or I just have more to say the subject. Whatever.

As I’m writing this, I’ve got a venti (that’s right, venti, suck it, Dunkin’ Donuts) white mocha next to me, nice hot tasty drink on a cold day like this! While in Starbucks, I thought some more about the ridiculous ads Dunkin’ Donuts is running. Seriously, you’ve GOT to be majorly mindless to not understand the menu! That “your mouth can’t form these words”. What is this, the 1950’s? I mean, if anything, those ads are running at least a couple decades too late, if their whole campaign is, as I said a couple days ago, that Starbucks is bad because their menu isn’t American enough. Despite the fact that Dunkin’ Donuts’s menu isn’t THAT different.
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Language of Coffee

February 24, 2008

Now, for a caffeinated, beany version of…


Someone shoot whoever made those mind-numbing Dunkin’ Donuts ads with all the idiots looking at what they’re implying is the Starbucks menu with a bunch of weird sounding names, and acting like they can’t understand what it’s saying. “Lulz, is it French or is it Italian… or perhaps Fritalian?”

First of all, it’s Italian, morons. I don’t know where you’re getting French from.
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Feel Alive

October 4, 2007

I hereby decree…


Um, wow. Chatspeak attack. Let’s try that one again.

Five Alive should be sold more in the USA!

What’s Five Alive? It’s a kind of juice, under the Coca-Cola umbrella. It’s delicious. It used to be around a lot in the United States back when I was little. In concentrate form, anyway. I liked it. Then didn’t have it any more for a while. Stopped selling it I guess.
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Let Them Not Eat Meat

May 27, 2007

You know what I’m sick of? The stupid little “controversy” over vegetarianism. Everyone has their own little ridiculous assumptions every which way, and they’re all so dumb. So let’s get a few things straight.

For one, people choose to be vegetarians for a LOT of reasons. It doesn’t always have to do with said vegetarian not wanting to kill animals, dumbass. Could be a religious thing. Could just not like meat. While recognizing that the meat is “already dead”, could just not like the idea of eating animal flesh in general. Could be all sorts of reasons.
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Coffee Please?

December 29, 2006

Now for a caffeinated, customer service lacking edition of…


Office Depot. They seriously suck.

So, at work, we’ve got this little single serve coffee machine with a bunch of little cups of coffee and tea that go into it. This one company supplied it for us, and, honestly, their service sucked ass. As does the coffee itself, but it’s all we’ve got. They got orders wrong. Orders got delayed. Major mess.

So then they get bought out by Office Depot.

And, if you can believe it, they are even WORSE!
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