Category: Christmas Time!

From noon on Thanksgiving to midnight January 6… Christmas!!!

The Sun Returns

December 21, 2012

I went outside earlier and looked up at the sky. Though mostly cloudy, to the south I could see it. A weak, distant sun.

Alright, sun. Come on back.

To which the sun replied, “Why should I?”

Because it’s the winter solstice. It’s dark here.

“But when I leave this nice Tropic of Capricorn, it’s gets dark in the south. Why are you so special?”

Not a matter of special. It’s just time.

“That’s your only reason? It’s just time? What if I want to stay over here?”

Pretty sure that’d be a natural disaster.

“And why should I care about that? You know, Earth, you are some piece of work. Expecting everything from me.”

We can’t help that.

“Not that you are so appreciative. Six months ago, when I was shining all brightly around you and leaving the south in the dark, weren’t you all just bitching about the heat?”

True, true.

“And why should I shine anywhere on your stupid planet? The crap you all do to each other. Should just let you all rot in darkness.”

We’re much more than just humans.

“Yeah, well, don’t get me started on spiders!”

And even so, what is this? Your own little naughty or nice list?

“Please! Santa is the one who stole that shit from me!”

Okay.

“But you know what I hate most of all? You humans and your little solstice celebrations and the like. I send light and energy your way, and you all decide to attach more shit to me than that. I’m a star that happens to be close to you. And you benefit from me and have life. A life of stupidity.”

Um… sorry?

“Stupidity! In that every six months, whichever hemisphere is dark wants me to come back the other way, but I’m not even the one who moved. It’s your own stupid planet that keeps spinning around me and tilting certain ways at certain times, and yet I catch flak for it. Well, I’ve had it.”

Going to turn yourself off? Going supernova so fast?

“No. I’ll just let you have what you want. Your northern days will steadily get brighter now, from your own planetary revolving and tilting. But come summer I’m giving you some massive heat!”

Well, okay. Though if all you actually do is sit there and cast out light and energy, some of which happens to reach us, how much control do you have over that?

“No need. Your greenhouse gases are doing that one well enough.”

Um… I think I’ll just go Christmas shopping now…

“You do that.”

Shut Up, Charlie Brown

December 18, 2012

I’ve never understood the complaint about Christmas being “too commercial”. Charlie Brown bitches about it when Snoopy puts up Christmas lights on his dog house to win a cash prize in a contest and when Sally wants tens and twenties from Santa Claus.

What the fuck does that even mean? Too commercial? Is that basically the dumbass complaint about materialism?

Well, it did finally occur to me what this common complaint is about. The whole “you should buy this because Christmas” stuff. The implicit negligence of what the holiday is really about (a loaded question itself, but I digress) and exploiting its importance for profit.

So I’m understanding some more why I wasn’t seeing what this “commercialism” of Christmas means. Everything from decorations to cookies to bad reindeer sweaters involves buying something. Even the things that are homemade still require the purchase of materials and ingredients, so someone is still profiting. Not to mention the air fares and toll roads for those traveling. One way or another, Christmas is hellbent on parting you from your cash. Because commercialism. Because consumerism. Because avarice and greed.

Oh noes, Christmas is so corrupted!

Just one thing about that…

If it weren’t for Christmas being so economically beneficial, we probably wouldn’t be celebrating it.

We’ve only been celebrating Christmas as it is for a century and a half. I mean, obviously, Jesus and Mithra and countless winter solstice observances are significantly older, yes, but Christmas was never the big deal it is now until mid to late 19th century. As in around the time Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” was written. As in around the time “Visit from Saint Nicholas” was written. As in… around the time Thanksgiving was invented.

Yeah. That’s what Thanksgiving is about, too. It’s only been a holiday since around the late 19th century and the specific reason for it was to officially “open” the Christmas season. The pilgrim story was tacked on (which makes the complaints about Thanksgiving “celebrating genocide” just that much stupider). With the day before it being the busiest travel day and the day after it the biggest shopping day, yeah, it’s pretty cha-ching! Because the getting together with family and giving thanks is so important!

These things didn’t spring up overnight, of course. A number of shifts within our cultures led to the establishment of this more modern holiday season. Industrial revolution, mainly. That was also around the time the institution of childhood was seen as worthy of protection (something with a lot of youth rights effects, for sure!), and as such, there were more toys. And then toys for children at Christmas. Leading, of course, to toy and other industries benefiting from the Christmas gift giving, leading to stimulated economy.

Well, something like that. 😛

In any case, for something like Christmas to survive and be the big deal it is in our society, in our world in fact, there needs to be some tangible benefit in it. And that benefit is, of course, all the money that gets spent for Christmas reasons.

And the thing is, it’s not without benefits coming right back. Don’t just mean gifts. We get Christmas movies and Christmas songs that we love (for the most part). We get Christmas plays and parties. We get the exchange of Christmas stories. We get awesome decorations and twinkling lights. And, of course, cards and cookies! 😀

Irony shouldn’t be lost, though, that this commercialism of Christmas is even the reason we get Christmas TV specials like, say, Charlie Brown’s special where he bitches about commercialism!

Coventry Carol

December 17, 2012

Ever heard of Coventry Carol? Yeah, didn’t think so. It’s an obscure Christmas carol, existing pretty much only in choirs and whatnot.

Anyway, check it out:

Lullay, thou little tiny child
By by lully lullay
Lullay thou little tiny child
By by lully lullay

Yeah, yeah… lots to, um, think about there. That’s, um, some deep stuff.

Anyway, second verse:

O sisters too how may we do
For to preserve this day
This poor youngling for whom we sing
By by lully lullay

Wait… what was that?!

This poor youngling for whom we sing

You know what this means?!

youngling

…

Of course! It’s so obvious!

JESUS WAS A JEDI!!!

Say Your Prayers

December 15, 2012

Or not.

Because… why? What good would it do?

I’ve mentioned before that praying accomplishes nothing. God is going to do whatever. God ignores prayers all the time.

When a tragedy occurs, whether what happened yesterday or someone’s relative just got diagnosed with something nasty, you often get “please keep me/us/them in your thoughts and prayers!”

Or maybe someone should do something useful. I mean, is there perhaps some real tangible action someone could take? Bring you food? Send a card?

Wait, why did I say “send a card”? What good does that do someone who just found out they’ve got pancreatic cancer? Well, not much. But the difference between that and saying a prayer is a card involves actually informing the person in question of your well-wishes, which can sometimes improve their mood while going through this. It’s miniscule but more than a damn prayer.

A few years back, I visited my aunt who has been having lots of health problems. I mentioned that Grandma had had her name put into the Prayers for the People list at our church. And, holy crap, was she grateful and excited about that! But, again, what improved her mood was hearing about this. Had I not told her, it would have made no difference whatsoever. The prayers alone had no power.

And then, around this time of year in particular, you often hear “Pray for Peace!”

Now this one is interesting, because, in a way, it can work. If you’re getting people to pray for peace, then they aren’t fighting at that moment! Well, either that, or stopping to pray allows for the enemy to finish them off. Or maybe they can pray and fight at the same time. Multitasking!

Candles

December 8, 2012

Oh, would you look at that! It’s those silly December holidays again…

Chanukah: Ah, sundown at last! Time to light the menorah.

Christmas: Hiya, Chanukah!

Chanukah: Ugh. You again.

Christmas: Whatcha doin’?

Chanukah: What I always do on my first night. And each of the seven nights afterward. Lighting the menorah.

Christmas: Ooh, candles! Yay!

Chanukah: Um, yes, that’s right. Candles.

Christmas: I’ve got candles, too! Hang on. *rushes away* *about a minute passes* *rushes back with two long candles* Here they are. They’re red and green. My colors!

Chanukah: Uh huh. What are they for?

Christmas: These? Well, these candles seem like they’re for a dinner table. I’ve got more, though. Big fat ones that are red and glittery. Ones shaped like candy canes or reindeer. Little gingerbread-scented votives. Those old-timey ones that went on the trees before the electric lights were invented. And there’s of course those ones that go into those wreaths that Scandinavians like to wear on their heads for some reason.

Chanukah: All just meaningless decoration.

Christmas: Meaningless?! They’re fun and give light. I’m a Winter Solstice celebration, so Yule and all that other stuff had candles to light up the darkest days of the year.

Chanukah: But not part of the whole birth of Jesus thing. Because it’s not like you can include any Jews, right?

Christmas: Oh, don’t start with that! Jesus isn’t excluded. The midnight church services like to light candles while singing Silent Night. Jesus brought light, so to speak. It’s a metaphor, you see.

Chanukah: You’re really reaching, aren’t you! But you’ve accomplished your goal. Today is my day, and yet, though you are two and a half weeks away, you’ve made it all about you. Haven’t I made it abundantly clear I’m not merging into you?

Christmas: Loud and clear. You might even say… *lowers sunglasses* Midnight clear!

Chanukah: Get out of here!!! :doitnow:

Somethingmas

December 4, 2012

So I’m checking out some Christmas songs on YouTube. As a general habit, I click the Show More on the video description, not to read more of it but to hide the top comments. But sometimes I still see them. And my brain cells suffer for it.

Without fail, for a number of Christmas songs, the top most-liked comment will be something along the lines of “What a beautiful song! Let’s keep the CHRIST in CHRISTmas!” It might elaborate more than that, perhaps going into the commenter’s deep deep faith and how happy they are that the artist performing the song chose to step away from their usual music to honor Jesus at Christmas or something (even though many singers and bands who do Christmas songs, even the nativity ones, aren’t necessarily Christian).

*sigh* *hangs head* *removes glasses* *pinches bridge of nose*

Are these people for real? Yeah, yeah, I know. YouTube commenters. I should be glad they weren’t plugging Ron Paul or calling the uploader or singer any number of homophobic slurs. But it of course goes well beyond YouTube. It’s old fashioned Christian self-righteousness, with extra insecurity!

It’s really obnoxious. It’s a seemingly innocent comment that’s obviously meant to say “fuck you, non-Christians! don’t get your filth all over our holiday!” Though it’s not meant necessarily for the non-Christians (who tear apart that sentiment handily). It’s said to score points with their fellow Christians with the same obsessive clinging. And it works.

Let’s proselytize by telling people they aren’t celebrating this holiday exactly the way we want them to, because we think we own it, and that means they are wrong wrong wrong!

And then I realize how sad it is. Because most of the people who express sentiment like this are so cloistered within their congregation or community. They’ve probably never actually met a non-Christian (outside of online flame wars, that is). Now, to be sure, this is NOT an “all Christians” thing. Not by a long shot. Plenty of Christians are perfectly intelligent. And they aren’t the ones I’m talking about here.

No, these are people who, when they express sentiment like this, are probably hoping this makes Grandma proud. Or would if she hadn’t died 60 years ago. In any case, it’s pride in that they’re pushing that they’re doing Christmas “correctly” (somehow). They’re probably waiting for a gold star and a cookie. Or, being Christmas, a star-shaped sugar cookie with yellow crystals. Or is that somehow not Jesus-enough?

Because what exactly entails “keeping the Christ in Christmas”, no one really knows, not even the people saying it. What would they have anyone do? Do nothing at Christmas except go to church and maybe have a nice meal? Boring. Are they worried that the nativity story might be forgotten? Yeah, not happening. It’s already in there pretty solidly. Hell, the story of Rudolph was invented by Montgomery Ward less than a century ago, and even that I would doubt anyone would forget anytime soon, so why on earth do they think anyone would forget the story of Jesus’s birth?

Well, the answer to that is paranoia. They have been conditioned to believe everyone is out to take away their crosses or something. There are countries where this would be a realistic fear, but chances are these people are in the United States, where this is not a realistic fear, being a country where a politician who states proudly that he is a creationist remains viable while an atheist barely stands a chance.

Or maybe they really aren’t even thinking that deeply about it. It might just be nothing more than, well, wanting that star-shaped cookie. Because they remembered Jesus and that makes them better than you. And that’s what Christmas is all about! 😛

Eight Days Later

January 1, 2012

Happy New Year!

Oh, look, another holiday conversation!

New Year’s Day: Welcome 2012!

Christmas: Yay!

New Year’s Day: Another year is upon us!

Christmas: True. Except, well, why you?

New Year’s Day: What do you mean?

Christmas: Well, every date is a year after itself. Why start with you rather than like March 1 or something?

New Year’s Day: Come on, Christmas, you’re really not one to talk when it comes to why something is celebrated when it is!

Christmas: No, no, I have a point. I mean, if the idea is the year revolves around the birth of Christ, and that’s what I’m about, it would follow the year would begin and end with me. But it does that with you instead. A week later.

New Year’s Day: Yeah. Well, close enough.

Christmas: But it’s that week later, eight days later actually, that’s interesting. Think about it.

New Year’s Day: What?

Christmas: I’m about the birth of Jesus, right? And Jesus was Jewish. And you’re eight days after his birth, so…

New Year’s Day: …

Christmas: Yeah.

New Year’s Day: FFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Fearless 2011

December 31, 2011

And… here we are! 2011 has run its course. Let’s review!

January: Unapologetically Fierce

-Nothing like a 7-year-old’s birthday party at a sports bar!
-Missed New Year’s Eve skiing but I’ll get up there some evening.
-Liberty’s restaurant says anyone under 16 must be accompanied by an adult.
-FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU-
-Uh oh! Big snowfall at afternoon rush hour on untreated roads!
-Three hours to go ten miles.
-Come on, car! Don’t get stuck. Doing great…
-Okay, now it’s stuck… just outside my house. Okay, COULD be a lot worse!
-Dinner invite! How nice!

February: A Reclaimed Minuet

-Superbowl Sunday! To Brookside. To climbing gym. To get fried chicken. To bake cookies. And, well, watch the game!
-Hey, lots of free sheet music for classical music online. Public domain!
-Uh oh! Lots of changes and of course fighting over NYRA’s website redesign.
-Yay! #16tovote on the 16th is a year old!
-Helping out in NYRA office on weirdly warm day. And burrito with Dave from weird burrito truck guy.
-WES Auction! I won a big urn!
Continue reading “Fearless 2011”

Feliz Natal

December 25, 2011

My world is changing. I’m rearranging. Does that mean Christmas changes, too?
– “Where Are You, Christmas?”

The days leading up have kind of sucked. Christmas is about joy and hope. I see much ahead that is uncertain.

Today and yesterday have been okay. Even through it all…

Still with watching the Christmas Eve Christmas specials…

Baked cookies! Mmmm!

The Redskins lost… -_-

Wrapped presents.

Why did I buy my stupid family so much shit?

Mmmm, cookies.

Wrap more presents.

Mmmm, cookies.

You know what? I can finish this later.

Off to see stupid family.

They weren’t sure whether to get a platter of mezze or a big platter of sushi or a big ass bowl of shrimp. So they got all of it!

Christmas!

Brother wants me to watch YouTube videos. Mom wants me to watch British sitcoms.

Gah!

Reading “Visit from St. Nicholas” to brother before he goes to bed.

Trying to leave but Mom keeps asking pointless questions.

Yay, got to church sort of on time!

Running down aisle while they’re singing “Angels We Have Heard on High”.

Breathlessly singing “Gloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooria, in excelsis deeeeeeeo!”

Wearing Santa hat all through service. LOL U MAD?

Time for the peace. Wearing Santa hat. “Merry Christmas! Peace be with you!”

Here it is… the highlight of my Christmas time… and perhaps of my year…

Raising my lit candle, singing Silent Night!

Back home… to it being 1am and all my neighbors’ outside lights still on and shining, long after they’ve normally turned them off.

Last wrapping, more staring off into the divine night… and off to bed…

But so many questions remain. So many things are uncertain. What will things look like this time next year? How will such changes change Christmas itself for me? And the biggest question of all, what can I do about it? If anything?

Do I just wait and see? Am I sitting on the answer and just don’t notice it yet? Do I know what the answer is but have chosen not to do it?

Am I even asking any of the right questions?

But, at Christmas Eve night, trying to go to sleep, what can be done now?

Now? For now, yes, maybe just wait and see…

And in the morning, the bright sun shining… at last Christmas Day!

Let there be peace, love, joy, hope, and giving!

I got a Slinky! 😀

Solstice of Lights

December 21, 2011

Ah, winter has begun! And I think something else has, too.

Winter Solstice: Here I am! Alright, Northern Hemisphere, time for another winter!

Chanukah: Shalom!

Winter Solstice: Oh, hey, Chanukah! How’s it going?

Chanukah: It’s my first day!

Winter Solstice: Hey, seems we’re the same day this year!

Chanukah: Oy vey! Don’t let Christmas know that. I’ll never hear the end of it.

Christmas: Hear the end of what?

Chanukah: Ah, you again.

Christmas: Oh, wow! You start on the Winter Solstice this year? That’s awesome!

Chanukah: Actually, I started last night at sundown if we’re to be more specific.

Christmas: Close enough. This means that this year, just like me and my traditions, you too are a Winter Solstice celebration.

Chanukah: Oy. Here we go again. I have nothing to do with the solstice. The dates are a coincidence. I’m about a temple rededication after one of very very very many times the Jews were attacked.

Christmas: Hey, you know what would make an awesome menorah decoration?

Chanukah: Menorahs don’t need decoration.

Christmas: A holly sprig! Right at the base of it.

Chanukah: Why?

Winter Solstice: Holly is evergreen and symbolizes everlasting life. For you, it could mean the resilience of the Jews all through history maybe.

Chanukah: But that’s a Celtic thing, that Christians later also made about Jesus because they’re so insecure they have to make everything about Jesus. I don’t need that. Our own traditions and symbols are plenty interesting on their own.

Winter Solstice: Maybe instead of candle oil you guys should try my Yule log. That lasts weeks!

Christmas: How about a Star of David atop the tree?

Chanukah: Fuck this shit, I’m going to make some latkes.

Christmas: Don’t forget to leave some out for Santa!

Chanukah: