Christmas Time! – Page 6

Light and Dark

December 21, 2013

The Winter Solstice is here again. Oh, I hear something…

Winter Solstice: It’s time for the sun to return!

Summer Solstice: Yeah, yeah, yeah…

Winter Solstice: Hey, what are you doing here?

Summer Solstice: I’m on the other side of the world. We occur at the same time, you know.

Winter Solstice: I know that. Anyway, why aren’t you celebrating? You have lots of sun.

Summer Solstice: And I have to see it go away. For that, nobody gives a damn. With you, they celebrate the sun returning, but by the time I come around, their brightest day of the year, no one cares. No summer Christmas for me.

Christmas: Did someone say my name?

Winter Solstice: Summer Solstice is feeling glum and without a holiday.

Christmas: What! Nonsense. You’ve got me. You’re today in the southern hemisphere, are you not?

Summer Solstice: Yeah. But having you is just sort of a happy accident.

Christmas: And the key word there is “happy”. So don’t be sad.

Winter Solstice: Now just a minute, Christmas. You’re specifically for me. Everything you’re made of comes out of Winter Solstice celebrations.

Christmas: And I think I’m fine with the southern hemisphere calling me a summer holiday just as they call me a winter one for you. Got a problem with that?

Winter Solstice: Yes! Because you’re specifically a winter holiday.

Christmas: I’m a lot of things. If I want to call myself also a celebration of the days being their longest and brightest, I’ll do that.

Winter Solstice: But it doesn’t make sense.

Christmas: Hey, does applying importance to axial tilt as if it means anything beyond that make any sense? Don’t pull at that thread.

Summer Solstice: Axial tilt? Yeah, that’s ours. But, Christmas, I thought Jesus was the reason for your season. 😉

Christmas: That, too.

Summer Solstice: So you already go beyond us solstices. What’s the matter here?

Christmas: I don’t know. I thought you were the one unhappy.

Summer Solstice: Winter gets all the celebration for the return of the sun, but I have the sun as returned and full as it’s going to get. And I get little celebration. I don’t get it.

Christmas: That doesn’t reflect upon you. Hey, how do you think I’d feel if I worried too much about what my celebrators do supposedly for me? Especially that mind-numbing “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” war. These people simply don’t make sense.

Summer Solstice: Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Christmas: Maybe? Or, perhaps, people are too busy lounging around in the bright sunny long days they don’t need to put on a special celebration? Perhaps a more subtle, more muted appreciated.

Summer Solstice: Hmmm. Could be.

Christmas: There you go! You don’t need to be the cheap crap that Winter Solstice and I are.

Winter Solstice: Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?

Summer Solstice: It means enjoy your hypothermia, losers!

Winter Solstice: Oy.

Happy Solstice!

Said the Little Lamb

December 20, 2013

Alright, everyone. Time again to sing!

*taps conductor stick thingy*

Said the night wind to the little lamb,
“Do you see what I see?”

Ah, the wind is bored and feels like playing I Spy.

“Way up in the sky, little lamb.
Do you see what I see?”

I’m sure the small ovine appreciates the hint.

“A star, a star, dancing in the night,
With a tail as big as a kite,
With a tail as big as a kite.”

Oh, sure, give it away before the lamb has a chance to guess.

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
“Do you hear what I hear?”

And the shepherd replied with “holy shit, a talking lamb!”

“Ringing through the night, shepherd boy.
Do you hear what I hear?”

Is it just that night wind playing I Spy with other random critters?

“A song, a song, higher than the trees
With a voice as big as the sea.
With a voice as big as the sea.”

This simile is silly to me.

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,
“Do you know what I know?”

Translation: Boy skips into the palace all chanting “I know something you don’t know! I know something you don’t know!”

“In your palace, oh, mighty king.
Do you know what I know?”

If this king is supposed to be Herod, then shepherd boy you’ve got a lot of blood on your hands.

“A child, a child, shivers in the cold.
Let us bring him silver and gold.
Let us bring him silver and gold.”

Or a coat or a blanket or something of immediate need for cold people.

Said the king to the people everywhere,
“Listen to what I say!”

Pfft. Everyone thinks their own words are so important. Get a Twitter account!

“Pray for peace, people everywhere.
Listen to what I say!”

What a useless statement.

“A child, a child, sleeping in the night.
He will bring us goodness and light.
He will bring us goodness and light.”

In 33 years, all we have to do is stick nails into him until he dies. Praise the Lord!

Let There Be Peace on Earth

December 17, 2013

So we can travel a lot more easily. So we can learn about each other and enjoy what we all have to offer more easily.

Without corrupt governments and politics sticking their asses into everything.

There are so many beautiful places to see and cultures to be exposed to and foods to taste, yet so many are in unstable environments, rife with crime and misery and poverty, brought on by corrupt infrastructure and political turmoil.

I’d like our relations with Russia to completely improve, and then we’ll build a bridge across the Bering Strait, so then we can drive to Asia. Take roadtrips to liberated China and India. Korean Peninsula could finally get along and then build a bridge to Hokkaido so we can drive to Japan as well. Then with the Middle East peaceful we can drive over there for some quality falafel. The kind they share with their Israeli neighbor friends because they have no beef with each other anymore. And then into Africa, free of corrupt governments and practices and abject poverty, for all the beauty it has to offer underneath all that.

Maybe international borders would just dissolve entirely. No more “illegal immigration” concerns because they would be welcome anywhere and even where they’d be coming from would be pleasant and peaceful and provide them with all they need.

No wars. No starvation. No atrocities.

Just a lot of cooperation and harmony and acceptance of difference.

It’d be nice.

The Prettiest Sight to See

December 14, 2013

Alright, let’s sing again. Because it’s fun. Because it’s Christmas time. Because, dear God, it’s barely middle of the month and I’m already tapped out.

Anyway…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

That it is. Though some people have been bitching about this since September. And by bitching that it’s looking like Christmas, it means some KMart decided to get a jump on garland sales and suddenly it’s “Eeek, Christmas creep!”

Take a look at the Five and Ten
Glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow

Is this before or after Bryan Adams got his first real six-string?

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Soon the bells will start
But the thing that will make them ring
Is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.

Either that or just singing and using your hands to ring a bell. Hearts are better at the whole blood pumping thing.

A pair of hop-along boots
And a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Ah, a couple of Second Amendment supporters I see.

Dolls that can talk
And can go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen.

Gender binary!

And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again!

Go fuck yourself and die.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

Cool. How so?

There’s a tree in the grand hotel

I should think so.

One in the park as well
The sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow.

A tree that doesn’t mind snow. Also known as… a tree.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in every store

Didn’t Barnes and Noble use to be a bookstore?

And the prettiest sight to see
Is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

My decorations are better than your decorations! :doitnow:

In Sin and Error Pining

December 12, 2013

Alright, it’s not Christmas Eve yet, but let’s sing!

O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining

Sounds lovely.

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.

Huh. Seem to know a lot about someone who was apparently only just born. What if he doesn’t want to be a Savior? What if he wants to be a ballroom dancer?

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Poor world. 🙁

Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth

Soul feeling worth is needed, but does it have to rely on him? And can it still feel worth if he does go the ballroom dancing route?

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Yay! It’s a new day! 🙂

Fall on your knees

Ouch! That’ll mess up the new day if your knees are sore.

Oh hear the angel voices

It must just be some drunks in a nearby tavern. Same diff.

Oh night divine, oh night
When Christ was born

Oh, that’s who you’ve been talking about!

Oh night, oh holy night
Oh night divine!

Still, ballroom dancing is probably a lot less excruciating than being crucified. Probably.

Second verse!
Continue reading “In Sin and Error Pining”

Some Opinionated Uncle

December 11, 2013

With the holiday season comes family holiday gatherings. I see the lamentations of these from some friends and other places that with these family gatherings, they, someone who is progressive and/or LGBT, have to listen to some opinionated uncle rant at the dinner table about those awful queers or liberals. And they have to just grit their teeth and bear it, wishing for it to be over.

Whenever I hear this, I wonder… why is the uncle the only one who gets a say? Assuming it is safe to do so depending on the family environment as a whole, why isn’t the uncle being immediately met with the niece or nephew calling bullshit on all the stupid crap he is spewing? Yeah, the uncle isn’t just going to sit down and shut up if this happens, though he might. But as of now, he’s being given every indication he has a captive and passive audience, one that he has no reason to believe doesn’t agree with him totally. Why not shatter that illusion? Why must the niece or nephew have to grit and bear it rather than argue right back? Will it change the uncle’s mind? Very unlikely, but you feel a lot better getting your word in.

Then maybe he’ll learn to hold his tongue, and he’ll be the one suffering through a family holiday dinner while his enlighted niece or nephew is proudly liberal and gay! 😀

Turkey and Latkes

December 1, 2013

Oh, here we go again…

Thanksgiving: More turkey?

Chanukah: Yes, thank you. More latkes?

Thanksgiving: Please! They’re marvelous.

Christmas: Hey, there you are, Chanukah! What’s going on over here?

Chanukah: Having a turkey and latke dinner with Thanksgiving.

Christmas: Interesting. How come?

Chanukah: Check a calendar. The 25th of Kislev this year is also Thanksgiving. So the two of us are hanging out this year.

Christmas: But I like hanging out with you. It won’t be the same not having you around.

Chanukah: Oh, sure, sure. You’ll be all alone. Except well, for Winter Solstice, Boxing Day, New Year’s Day, Kwanzaa, Festivus, Epiphany…

Christmas: I get it, I get it. Alright, I’ll leave you to it. See you next year, I guess.

Chanukah: Hmm. Well, I’d feel bad, but Thanksgiving seems so lonely each year. It’s a nice quiet change.

Thanksgiving: Oh, I’m not totally alone…

Chanukah: What do you mean?

Black Friday: LOL HAI U GUIZE!!!11!!1!

Thanksgiving and Chanukah: Oh shit!

I Don’t Even 2012

December 31, 2012

This year began with what felt like a theme park boat ride, the craft drifting into a dark tunnel, and up ahead you can hear the splashing of rough waters, as the drifting boat moves steadily quicker. To… what?

Well, to all this…

January: Sorting Socks

-Starting the year with something sweet. And Brookside.
-Rocky Horror Picture Show at WES: your argument has never been so invalid
-Ow! Why is my side hurting now?
-And why is… my chest pain back?! Noooo!
-Ash is dead! Ash lasted a while. Awww. 🙁
-And now I don’t feel so good…
-Stomach virus! Ack! Haven’t had one in eleven years!
-Supervisor: “Stomach virus? WTF? Go home!”
-Me: “I have to change the temperature chart first!”
-A NYRA board meeting that didn’t devolve into fighting? Holy crap!
Continue reading “I Don’t Even 2012”

Gelukkig Kerstfeest

December 25, 2012

It began with some gift gathering and organization. Eating some cookies.

And, look at that, it’s snowing outside!

And after some wrapping, some Christmas TV, and whatnot, scraping off the car.

Christmas Eve.

Sushi!

Off to late night church. The usual.

Except for some weird “riu riu chiu” song they sung.

And at last… Silent Night.

I might have shouted the third verse for some reason: “RADIANT BEAMS FROM THY HOLY FACE! WITH THE DAWN OF REDEEMING GRAAAAAAAACE!”

And stepped outside…

o snap, it’s a foggy Christmas Eve!

And the last of the wrapping.

And cookies and hot chocolate!

Bed.

In the morning, a bizarre AC/DC parody of “My Favorite Things”.

Also, the Christmas tree fell down last night and is propped up against the wall.

LOL awesome

The brand new train didn’t work.

Until it did on a different track. Weird.

Mario games, old and new!

And the feast. The feast of roast beast.

Unremarkable. Unwavering from last year. For the most part.

I guess that’s a good thing. It is a good thing. Nice to have some things be somewhat constant.

I don’t know. I’m not interested in thinking too hard about it.

Hope you all had a good one! Cheers!

Same Old Songs

December 23, 2012

New Christmas music gets made still. Sort of. I think Rod Stewart released a new Christmas album. Michael Buble released one a year or two ago. Plenty of singers like to do the usual Christmas album, because why not?

Except it’s usually the same damn songs. Do we really need more versions of Let It Snow, or It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas, or It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year, or I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus? Or any others that have already been done to death?

Writing a new Christmas song, of course, takes extra work, and God knows that one is a crapshoot anyway. You might get something fun like Christmas Wrapping, something cute like Dominick the Donkey, something depressing like Same Auld Lang Syne, or something godawful and fit for the bowels of hell like Christmas Shoes.

But there’s a zillion Christmas songs already, lots of material for an album of covers. They don’t need to stick to the same old ones. There isn’t a lot of chance they’re going to contribute much to them that hasn’t been done before. Just open up a few Christmas song books and look for stuff that people might generally know but doesn’t get done much. Even excluding the Jesus ones (an exclusion not usually made, though) there’s still a decent selection.

And yet even with all that considered, they’ll still be like “hey, you know what? there should be another rendition of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town!”

Either that, or the same old Santa Claus Is Coming to Town or Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree are the only ones anyone is willing to promote or play. :irked: