That’s right, everyone. Today is my 25th birthday, and you know what that means.
It means that at last my brain is fully developed. You’ve got these public interest groups and all saying that studies show that your brain is immature and underdeveloped until you turn 25. That before then you are incapable of making any sound judgments. Well, I always called bullshit before, but now that I actually am 25, maybe my outlook might be a bit different.
Yes, yes, it’s true. I do feel more lucid, more logical. I feel like I truly understand the world now, and I realize that anyone born after this day in 1983 can’t possibly be so rational. It can’t be explained, as you can’t possibly understand until you turn 25. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
Because if you are not yet my age, you shouldn’t drink a drop of alcohol because it will give you cerebral palsy. And don’t think about driving because it gives you Down’s Syndrome. Also, sex before age 25 will definitely make you autistic.
Of course, why am I retyping this whole thing? I’ve already written all about my new outlook on life. Read it here.
Now I hope you understand, or however much your underdeveloped brain possibly can.