Tag: Rants

ROOOAAAARRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It’s State-of-the-Art! (which, of course, means absolutely nothing)

May 10, 2006

I hereby decree…

Stop using the term “state-of-the-art” for anything!

I’ve been meaning to rant about this stupid crap for a while. It started a few years ago during my job searches. Seeing as possible employment for a biology grad like me was in biotech and pharmaceutical type companies, there I was perusing the many websites of suburban Maryland’s many such places. Ooh! They all use new, “state-of-the-art” technology! I’d say three out of every five websites I visited used this term at least twice. State-of-the-art methods. State-of-the-art machines. State-of-the-art facilities. State-of-the-art research. State-of-the-art products. State-of-the-art ways of wiping your ass. And don’t forget the state-of-the-art buzzwords! I’d say my About page pretty well demonstrates what that’s like.
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The New 21

May 3, 2006

On The Sopranos this week, the psychiatrist Dr. Melfi mentions how young people these days are bombarded with so much information and so many choices that it may take them a while to settle down into something. As she went on to put it, “sociologists are saying 26 is the new 21.”

Great. Let’s extend childhood longer and longer. 🙄
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Or, as I call it, Exploitation Theatre

March 25, 2006

And now, yet another intrusive, chuckles-at-others’-expense round of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

I grant this to the abomination that has plagued television screens for a long time now, and seeing as television screens bear a lot of abominations as it is, this is saying something. This one in particular bears an ironic name. It is called… America’s Funniest Videos.
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Catastrophe!

March 23, 2006

A couple of days ago, we were sort of expecting snow. Cool. Go read my Snow Rules rant to know more about how I feel about that.

Anyway, I should perhaps have reread the rant myself, as every year I am actually surprised at how the media react to even the remote possibility of snow. Even if the situation is like it was in this case. We had just gotten out of a week of 80 degree weather. On the day in question, the temperature was not supposed to drop below 35. Yet, the news had this to say.

“People are rushing out to the stores to get milk, bread, and toilet paper!”
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Standard Disney Formula

February 26, 2006

Last night I was at a neighbor’s house for several hours, keeping an eye on the ten-year-old boy who lives there while his parents were out. (Can you tell I’m trying to avoid using the word “baby-sit”? He’s not a baby!) So, basically, just sat there with him watching TV all evening. Not exactly taxing. Until about 8pm, anyway, when he switched to the Disney channel to watch a movie that was coming on, some crap with Lindsey Lohan and Tyra Banks about a doll that comes to life.
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I’m Not Deprecated! You’re Deprecated!

February 21, 2006

It hit me just right. I finally discovered I can set the target attribute for the Friends of the Fortress links so they open in a new window. Quite glad I could do so without diving into the PHP code, which undoubtedly would not turn out well. Then I saw it. On the WordPress admin page for adding a link, when I finally spotted the Target radio buttons at the very bottom, I saw the following:

(Note that the target attribute is illegal in XHTML 1.1 and 1.0 Strict.)

Reread that a few times and let it sink in.
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This Is How Movies Should NOT Advertise

February 17, 2006

There’s three fundamental annoying kinds of movie ads that I think we could all do without. They tell us nothing about the movie. They treat us all like we’re stupid (granted, that’s appropriate for most people but not for smart people like, you know, yours truly). They go out of their way to focus on shit that has nothing to do with the movie in any way, shape, or form.
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Mmmm, Candy Hearts

February 14, 2006

And now, for a loving and saintly edition of…

YOU SUCK!

What sucks, on this St. Valentine’s Day? The holiday itself? Nah. Frankly, I think it’s cool we pay attention to at least a handful of saints’ feast days. So what’s my beef now? What sucks? Simple. What sucks are relationships themselves.
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MySpace Is Stupid, But Give It a Break!

February 6, 2006

MySpace is stupid. Everyone knows it. It’s buggy, you get too many stupid bulletins from people who don’t realize that their stupid bulletins are annoying, too much whining, too much spamming, and I’m so sick of people putting so much shit in their profiles that it takes forever for it to load. Why the hell do people put music videos up? Who the hell actually sits and watches them? And why have music playing at all? What I really hate are the ones with music playing but they don’t provide any means of turning it the hell off! Look, when I’m at my computer, chances are I’ve got my Winamp playing. In fact, I’ve got it playing right now. “You’re My Best Friend” by Queen. Good song! But, yeah, so I’m already listening to my own music. I don’t want to hear yours.
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All I Wanted Was a Snack, Not More Ageist Piece of Crap!

January 6, 2006

Argh!!!!

Okay, I have had it with the local news. Sure, there’s lots of crap about the local news that’s worth a bitch here and there. It comes with the territory. Bias. And, um, bias. Let’s see, there’s also… bias. Oh, don’t forget bias. Bias, too! Last but not least…. bias!

Perhaps I should be more specific. As many of my complaints tend to involve, this is about youth. The local news is just yet another public outlet that shits all over youth without a care. And the worst part about it is that in doing so, they’re inviting every one of their brainless viewers to carelessly shit all over youth as well. It’s on the news! It must be true. But let’s continue.
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