Girls Love Pizza

November 14, 2006

I can’t stress that enough. Pizza is damn good stuff. Guys love pizza. We all know that. But girls love the stuff, too.

Now I realize that must come as a surprise to you. Your mother told you pizza was junk food. You never see women eating pizza in commercials. Always guys. Chicks prefer the femininity of a chicken caesar salad. You know that.

Yet here I come with this earth shattering revelation. Girls love pizza. Girls are supposed to scorn guys for pizza? No. Girls love pizza. It is the truth. Why, I myself am a girl who loves pizza! I’m far from alone.
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You Are So Pwned!

November 5, 2006

http://cowboys.justgotowned.com

Dallas 19
Washington 22

Final.

Hell YEAH!!!!

Dude, not just any ownage. We were tied. Dallas was about to kick a field goal at the end to win it. And what happened? Redskins blocked that fucker, and ran it back! Didn’t make it to the end, but one of the Cowboys grabbed a face mask, so it was a 15 yard penalty. Put us within a possible field goal range. No time left on the clock. 4th quarter. Nick Novak kicks it from 47 yards out…

He made it!!!! Redskins win!!!! :banana:

Just goes to show. Washington rules. Dallas sucks.

😀

Candy Bowl

October 27, 2006

Two weeks ago, I decided it would be nice to have a nice big candy bowl on my desk at work. Picked up four bags of candy from grocery store, found a big bowl in the kitchen at work, and filled it with the Reese’s cups, Kit Kats, Snickers, and 3 Musketeers I had just purchased. My desk is right up front there, so it would be a nice treat for passers by. I’m just cool like that.

You know what? It went over nicely. Some remarks I got were interesting. My boss kept telling me the candy was evil (while taking one). At least three people wondered how I could sit there all day with this big ass candy bowl in front of me and not eat all of it. Others “complained” that putting that candy there was just going to make them fat.
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Plain Text Please

October 20, 2006

And now, for a double spacing, format-copying edition of…

YOU SUCK!

Wysiwyg editors. You know, I can’t believe a word, even if just an acronym, with two W’s and two Y’s and fun as hell to say could stand for something so lame. What You See Is What You Get! Well, you know what? Maybe I don’t like what I see. I’d like to format it myself. I don’t care if you think I’m making it harder on myself. I find it easier. Grant me that.

Uh oh. Not always an option.
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Table

October 6, 2006

The table my computer is sitting on right now is old. Very old. Been in the family for like a century at least. I’ve been using it to hold my computer for the past three years now. Been nice.

Now and then, my grandma mentions the table. She says what it’s been used for in the past. Earlier this evening was one of those times. In fact, as she informed me, in 1917 when her brother was born, the doctor set him on this table to circumcise him.

Did I REALLY need to know that?!

*looks at table*

Ewww.

😆

Random Entries

September 30, 2006

Scroll down a ways and look to your right. Um, make sure you scroll back up here afterwards. Hehe.

Yup. Under the admin links and crap, I’ve added a Random Entries spot. Differs from the “Recent Entries” thing I’ve bitched about before seeing as these are for entries that aren’t right here on the main page anymore. A downside to this blog format is that there are so many awesome rants and pieces I wrote back in the day that fall out of sight. You people forget about them like the disrespectful maggots you are. But now they’re right there. A randomly generated list of some good old entries. The nostalgia!

Remember these? Oh, Pet Store! That was a good one. Don’t forget I’m American!, the little bit about politically correct terms. How can you pass up Behind Every Bag of Chips or Christian War? This is some good shit!

So, yeah, take this as a friendly reminder that there’s lots of good shit to read around here. I’m not reminding you for my own benefit. I remind you for your own. It’s good stuff. You should be so privileged. Now get reading! :doitnow:

Listen Carefully

September 25, 2006

I hereby decree…

Avoid the following places. Do not use their “services”. Do not trust them. Do not give them your money. Do not entrust them with the life of your son or daughter.

I cannot stress that enough. My decrees often have a somewhat light-hearted quality, as do most of the other pages on the Fortress. But with this I am absolutely serious. This is a matter of life and death. So look at the following list of facilities. I may even add more to the list from time to time. Look at this list.

Academy at Ivy Ridge
Robert Land Academy
Thayer Learning Center
Bethel Boys Academy
Eagle Point Christian Academy
Provo Canyon School
Tranquility Bay
Majestic Ranch
Carolina Springs Academy
Whitmore Academy
Spring Creek Lodge Academy
Summit Quest Academy
Escuela Caribe
Turn-About Ranch
SageWalk

And more. Many more.
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Your Right to Say It

September 21, 2006

And now, for the inaugural session of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!

Who would receive such a message? Not necessarily stuff I disagree with, although sometimes it is. Just stuff I’m sick of hearing and so are you.

Ironically, who should shut the hell up today? People who recite that stupid Voltaire quote practically every other sentence. You know the one.

“I don’t agree with what you say, but I’ll defend to the death your right to say it.”
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I Voted!

September 12, 2006

I’m not very political. I despise the news. I have no idea what’s going on here or anywhere.

But, damn it, as today got closer and closer, I got all excited and jumpy. “Iwannavote! Iwannavote! Iwannavote! Iwannavote! Iwannavote!”

Hehehe. And I did!

Sort of. Machine screwed up when they tried to enter me and get my card, so I had to fill out the damn thing on paper, as a provisional ballot. Bastards.

But at least I voted.

Who did I vote for? Who cares? Picking a candidate is not all there is to voting. Sure, it may be the whole point, but it’s not all there is. Voting is picking candidates, but, often more importantly, it’s about kicking the government in the shins now and then saying “Don’t you fucking ignore me!”