I can’t stress that enough. Pizza is damn good stuff. Guys love pizza. We all know that. But girls love the stuff, too.
Now I realize that must come as a surprise to you. Your mother told you pizza was junk food. You never see women eating pizza in commercials. Always guys. Chicks prefer the femininity of a chicken caesar salad. You know that.
Yet here I come with this earth shattering revelation. Girls love pizza. Girls are supposed to scorn guys for pizza? No. Girls love pizza. It is the truth. Why, I myself am a girl who loves pizza! I’m far from alone.
Wait. If girls love pizza, going against much of the basics you’ve learned through your life of being spoon-fed media and gender role stereotypes, what else haven’t you been told?
What about Sunday? What do chicks do on Sunday? Go to church? Maybe. Go shopping? Meh. Scorn males for watching football? Getting warmer! What? Can’t figure it out? Well, I suppose I’d better spell it out for you. No, I couldn’t mean what you think I must mean. Yes, that is what I mean. Brace yourself.
Girls watch football.
You know what else? Girls like football!
That’s right! The vision of the disgruntled or smarmy wife or girlfriend bitching that her guy is cheering for pride of whatever city they live near? Erase it! It’s a useless vision. Girls, quit the charade. Sit down with him and watch the damn game. You know you want to. You know you die inside when you get ornery and decide you want to change the channel while he’s in the middle of watching the fucking thing. Quit being a bitch. You like the game. Watch it. Cheer. Be happy. Quit living the lie.
Girls who don’t live the lie and do watch and cheer, you rock!
Oh, what other preconceptions shall I shatter? Girls love buffalo wings. It’s true. Girls love Philly cheesesteaks. I’ll bet hearing that made you shit yourself. Girls love big screen TVs. Who doesn’t? Girls know how to fix cars. Why not?
And here’s one I’ll bet you never expected. Hold onto your hat!
Girls love video games.
What?! Holy shit, did I just really say that? No way! That’s impossible.
It’s true. There are gamer chicks aplenty. All genres.
Yes, even first person shooters.
Yes, even strategy RPGs.
Yes, even sports games.
I’ll bet you’re thinking I’m crazy by now. But I assure you this is all true. I realize you may be having trouble figuring this with your empty head, but you can save yourself the strain and just take my word for it. I’m right. The gender stereotypes you’ve been instilled with are WRONG!
Girls love pizza. And not just that vegetarian crap. Pizza packed with meat. Maybe some beer to go along with it. No, not light beer. Real beer. Extra spicy buffalo wings, too. While watching the home team defense sack the visitor’s sorry ass quarterback, on a huge plasma screen TV with an X360, PS 2, and GameCube all hooked up, waiting for the Wii and PS3 to take their places there soon enough. Did I mention these chicks are straight as a board? Yeah. They are.
And they can kick your ass at Halo.