Story of a Song

December 22, 2006

What did I do today? Got off work early because of the holiday. Sweet. Where did I go? Home? Nah. Not yet. There was something else I wanted to do first. Rode a couple of buses to a small Mediterranean food store on Randolph Road called Asadur’s Market.

I was in the store ten years ago today, on December 22, 1996. During that visit something special happened, a special event I cherish to this day, even if rather trivial at a glance. But I don’t care. It matters to me.
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Southern Sun

December 21, 2006

Happy Winter Solstice!

The winter solstice is cool. No, I’m not a Pagan. I’m allowed to think the solstice is cool without being a damn Pagan! Nothing to do with any kind of religious belief. More of a nature appreciation thing. Where is the sun shining and not shining?

Meanwhile, poor Santa Claus is in the dark these days. Maybe that’s why he makes the journey. North Pole is too dark and depressing. Although that wouldn’t explain why he makes the journey at night where it’s dark everywhere else!

Penguins have all the light.

So every December 21, more or less, I like to go outside at noon to see where the sun is. Wherever it is, that is due south.

Damn! It was cloudy today! :doitnow:

On another note, I finished my Christmas shopping. I’m afraid to look at my bank account. Sigh. Oh, well. Nothing says Christmas like spending your entire paycheck on gifts for your undeserving family. 😉

Tinsel Sucks

December 18, 2006

Seriously. Who came up with that crap?

You have a perfectly nice Christmas tree with lights and garland and a buttload of ornaments. Great. But no. You go one step too far and decide the tree needs tinsel as a finishing touch. If you weren’t a complete idiot, it might look halfway decent, but even then, tinsel is a pain in the ass even for those of us with brains.

Tinsel is a one way ticket from nice tree to stringy piece of crap. Save Christmas. Leave it off your tree.

Although the only good tinsel I know of is that stuff from the movie The Santa Clause which they use to bust Santa out of jail. Now that tinsel rocks. Regular tinsel? Not so much.

Mouths of Babes

December 17, 2006

Anyone else sick of this shit?

“The strangest things come out of the mouths of babes!”

The standard chauvinistic adult remark at some off the wall comment a kid makes. The basis of that stupid ass show “Kids Say the Darndest Things”. Yes, let’s not treat children like they are communicating. Let’s just laugh at them and their little naivete. Not like they’re people.
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Happy Chanukah

December 15, 2006

Tonight is the first night of Chanukah. Light those candles. Spin that dreidl. Eat those latkes. Dance the hora. Spell the name of the holiday like five hundred different ways. Say “oy!” a lot. All in good fun.

What is Chanukah about? I have no idea. Something about long lasting candles. Something about a temple celebration. Its close proximity to Christmas has led some to believe it is a high Jewish holiday like Christmas is a high Christian one. But it really isn’t. Passover and Yom Kippur are more the high holidays. Chanukah is just sort of there.
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The C Word

December 14, 2006

And now, for a festive, non-denominational session of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

People who are afraid to say the word “Christmas”. As if the political correctness gods will smite them if they do. That’s not all. On the other end of the spectrum are the asshats who throw a fit if you say anything other than Christmas.
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Annual Gift Man

December 13, 2006

Alright, let’s clear up something right now. Every Christmas it’s the same thing. We hear so much crap about our good jolly old rotund Arctic friend, Santa Claus. Saint Nicholas. Kris Kringle. Father Christmas. Whatever. Everyone has their say in what the deal is with him. And not one of these people knows what the hell they are talking about.

Look, asshats. What you’re hearing about Santa Claus all the time is a bunch of crap. Your parents are full of it. Your friends are full of it. Teachers. Coworkers. They all think they know what they are talking about and act like they’re giving you accurate information, but they are not. Don’t listen to them. Listen to me. I’m here to tell you what the real deal is.
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The Post of Christmas Presents

December 12, 2006

This season of giving, I must tell some of you to…

SHUT THE HELL UP!

God, I’m sick of these losers bitching about Christmas getting too materialistic. For this, I’m afraid I must borrow the line from the gun nuts that they spout ad nauseum. If people are getting too materialistic at Christmas, that is their own damn fault. In other words, Christmas is not materialistic. People are materialistic.
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Breathe

December 11, 2006

Okay, I can do this.

*takes deep breath*

Aaaaahhhhhh!!!! This is the worst pain ever!

*breathes frantically*

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! OWWWWWWWW! Son of a bitch!

*takes another deep breath*

Yeeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwwwch! Is this over yet?! I think I’m almost done.

*deep breath*

OWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Wow, I did it. It’s over with. Oh, man.

…

What was that about?! What could have happened many months ago to have caused this?

Damn you, internet quizzes.