Fine Programming on Fox

August 23, 2006

And now, an outrageous yet right-wing session of…

Here’s to You!

So I lift my glass and say, “Here’s to you, Fox shows!”

Oh, I know you’re all just about dropping your jaws and possibly your excrement at that. Oh, noes, I’m supporting teh eval Fox network! 🙄

If you pay attention, this is not about Rupert Murdoch or Fox News or conservatives or American Idol or anything like that. Although I do find it interesting that what I’m praising the network for is something not typically associated with conservatives.
Continue reading “Fine Programming on Fox”

Pack It

August 1, 2006

And now, for another well-traveled, space saving edition of…

Here’s to You!

So I raise my glass and say “Here’s to you, suitcases!”

Allow me to specify. See, I’m getting ready for a trip across the country. So I pulled out my wheeled suitcase that my aunt gave me as a graduation present three years ago. Dusted it off and opened it up. Damn this thing as a lot of pockets. I remembered it did, but there’s like zippers everywhere. And even more hidden zippered pockets inside those. And even more in those! Goodness.
Continue reading “Pack It”


July 10, 2006

And now, for a rather stop-and-go episode of…

Here’s to You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, Ride On Route 47.”

It’s rather odd I’m toasting this bus route since I could swear it is out to screw me over. So often when I’ve taken this bus, its schedule works so out of synch with another bus I may be taking before or after it. Usually it leaves where I’d get on it like five minutes before my previous bus would arrive there. Oh, and it’s never late. All the other buses are often a minute or two late, but not Route 47. That is, unless I’m waiting for it and am in a hurry. THEN it will be either late or totally skip the run! Grrr.
Continue reading “Wow”

That I Overlooked Before

June 6, 2006

And now, another genetically different, lucky edition of…

Here’s to You!

So I lift my glass and say, “Here’s to you, four leaf clovers!”

Always a pleasure to find. Five years ago, back at college, I was wandering around campus just sort of looking at some grass and clover patches. Four leaf clovers crossed my mind. Lucky items apparently. I wasn’t sure if I had ever seen one, though. I wondered if they even existed. I was muttering to myself while gazing into one clover patch. “Do four leaf clovers even exist?- Oh, wait, there’s one!”
Continue reading “That I Overlooked Before”

You Can’t Tuna Casserole

April 20, 2006

And now, for another swimmingly delicious, thunniform session of:

Here’s To You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, tuna!”

For you see, tuna is some of the greatest food in the world. Some people think steak is so wonderful. Meh. Others have certain partiality to pork. Well, whatever. But what’s truly wonderful is tuna.

Put it in a casserole! Eat it out of the can! Make it into a salad. Have it in a sub. Slap a slab of it on the grill. Leave it raw and gulp down its divinity, for it is King of Sushi. Or at least I say it is. That’s all that matters.

Tuna is great. Tuna is delicious. Tuna is godly. Let’s all eat some tuna!

Oh, and anyone who doesn’t like tuna or any seafood can, of course, go screw themselves.

Groundhog Day

February 2, 2006

And now, for another fuzzy, predictive session of….

Here’s To You!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, groundhog!”

That’s right. Today, February 2, some groundhog in Pennsylvania emerged from his little hole, saw his shadow, shrieked, dived back into his hole, and shut the door with a sign that read “Will Return in 6 Weeks”. Hopefully by then, he thinks, the scary shadow will be gone.
Continue reading “Groundhog Day”

The Laser Pointer

January 3, 2006

It’s time for a Sure, Why Not? session of….

Here’s to You!

So I lift my glass and say, “Here’s to you, laser pointer.”

Ah, yes, the simple laser pointer. Concentrated beam of red light that can mean hours upon hours of good fun. While presents itself as a dangerous object with such horrible radiation emitting from it (the wavelength on mine is 630 to 680 nm, which is red visible light, dumbasses!) and always contains warnings that it should never be shined in the eyes and that it is not a toy…. fuck that, it’s a toy! Why do you think I bought it? Some professional usage?

Continue reading “The Laser Pointer”