It’s time for a Sure, Why Not? session of….
Here’s to You!
So I lift my glass and say, “Here’s to you, laser pointer.”
Ah, yes, the simple laser pointer. Concentrated beam of red light that can mean hours upon hours of good fun. While presents itself as a dangerous object with such horrible radiation emitting from it (the wavelength on mine is 630 to 680 nm, which is red visible light, dumbasses!) and always contains warnings that it should never be shined in the eyes and that it is not a toy…. fuck that, it’s a toy! Why do you think I bought it? Some professional usage?
Anyway, yeah, the magical thing about a laser pointer is its amazing range. Just a few minutes ago, I shined my laser pointer out my window and in through the bay window of our neighbors across the street. I could see the little red light on their living room wall. Hehehe. Too bad they weren’t in the room at the time. Would be funny for them to be all “What the hell is that?” Hehehe.
Back in August, I was in New York City for the NYRA Annual Meeting. Alex was still busy typing up the Annual Report, and I was bored, so I took out the laser pointer and aimed it out the back window at stuff. Sent the tiny glowing red dot somewhere down the street, to the ceiling of a room in a building across the way. I wondered if anyone was in the room and saw the dot! Hehehe. Ah, I never get tired of playing with the laser pointer!
Another great thing is to make people look stupid without them ever knowing. Again, I use the great NYRA Annual Meeting as an example. Alex was looking all important, reading the Annual Report he’d thrown together the night before, sitting up there on that desk blah blah blahing, so I whipped out the laser pointer and aimed it at his forehead. Everyone snickered. I exchanged amused glances with Pamela Tatz. Alex, meanwhile, had this bright red dot on his forehead and had no idea. LOL!
I mean, he didn’t even figure it out a little later when I did it again, and Jason said “You’re being sniped.” Hahaha. Loser.
Anyway, as much fun as it is making fun of our beloved executive director, there’s plenty more about the laser pointer that doesn’t involve him. Laser pointers make a damn fine cat toy! Yeah! My cat, a lovely 9-year-old black cat named Midnight, has the nasty habit of ignoring that I exist. Until a couple years ago, he’d always run away from me! Piece of crap. Anyway, I bought this laser pointer last July and decided to try it out on him. So there he was sitting in the hallway, minding his own business, when, all of a sudden, this tiny glowing red dot appears on the floor in front of him. He glares at it but otherwise doesn’t pay any mind.
Whoa! Holy shit! The dot’s moving. So now Midnight is quite startled and gazes intently at the inexplicable moving dot. Then the paws come out, trying in vain to bat at the red light. Then come the claws. Before long, I’ve got him running up and down the hallway chasing the fucking thing!
I wuv my kitty!
So does anyone actually use these things for “professional” purposes? Didn’t think so.