Atlanta 2016, Part 2: Civil Rights & Coke

August 28, 2016

Part 1 – Part 2

I got up a little after 8am, packed my little bag, and headed on down to check out of the hotel, as I wouldn’t be able to come by again later.

I wandered down Peachtree Street some ways to the stop, and soon enough here came the Atlanta streetcar. I had my MARTA card ready to pay, but there did not seem to be anything to tap nor did anyone ask. I got to my destination, for which I decided against walking as even at now around 9am it was already like 95 degrees, after what ended up being a free ride. Hmm.

Anyway…

Respect. *salute*

In front of which is some kind of sacred gas leak.

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Atlanta 2016, Part 1: Turner & Fish

August 27, 2016

Part 1 – Part 2

Friday night I was supposed to be getting ready for the weekend but instead found myself eating ice cream and watching Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy and telling myself I’d get right on it.

Unlike Chicago and New York, I didn’t have to get up before sunrise as I snagged a midday flight. The next morning I parked in the Green Lot at Dulles and got the shuttle and went on into the terminal. No suitcase to check. Just my little bag with me. I brace myself for the TSA line and head down the escalator to it… to find no line at all. I walked straight over to the guy who checked my ID and boarding pass and mentioned I’m not sure I’d ever seen the TSA line not completely packed. “You just missed it,” he replied.

Way early for my flight, I went to the long C&D concourse where my gate was, near the beginning of the C gates. And I got to do something I’d always wanted to do but have done before: Walk from one end to the other! Touched the wall by C1 at 10:40am and walked all the way to the other end, touching the wall there at 10:55am. As I approached the latter, by a gate that was not being used at the time, some guy who worked at the airport was sitting in one of the chairs, watching me. Once I touched the wall and started back, he said, “it’s a long way, isn’t it? how long did it take you?” I told him 15 minutes and continued. Okay, so I guess this is a common thing here.

On my way back, I noticed this giant anthropomorphic kinder egg outside a duty free shop declaring a love for DC. Aren’t kinder eggs illegal in the US? If this thing is here, I can only assume it stowed away on a flight from Europe but got caught at customs. Must be waiting for a flight back out of the country. The professed love for DC must be trying to make nice with the locals so maybe it can stay, or it’s gloating that it got this far. Not sure which.

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New York 2016

June 18, 2016

So there I was at the Greenbelt Metro station at 6am waiting for a bus that was running late. It showed up finally with an apologetic driver, and we were heading north on I-95, stopping off in Baltimore to fill the bus the rest of the way. North we continued along this very familar megalopolitan expressway.

Why do New Jersey on-ramps have “No Turns” signs?

Eventually, the skyline came into view, and we were into the Lincoln Tunnel. I had purchased a ticket for 11:45am entry, and with the late departure, I was cutting it close. The bus stopped at its 33rd Street spot, and I zipped on out of it and over a few blocks to the subway station for the southbound C train. Which, seeing as I was in a rush, seemed to take forever. But it got there, all squeaky and smelly because New York subway, and many stops later I was out at Chambers Street.

Where to now? Well, my destination is rather conspicuous. I got in at 11:45am exactly and was admitted and led to security.

Which, holy crap, made us go through a backscatter machine. How… well, not ironic exactly, but something.

Now walking through what’s made to look like a cave for some reason, and there are the elevators. Short line for that, and up up up, through time, through 102 floors.

To some short film about the city. Then out to a hall to get a guide tablet if desired, and then forcible green screen picture so they can sell it back to you because every damn place seems to have these. Down to the floor below where the restaurant is, as well as a smaller cafe with quicker stuff.

And down one more floor to the observation deck…
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Ocean City 2016

April 30, 2016

Go east on Route 50. That’s it. You’re there.

First this meant the always fun crossing of the Chesapeake Bay Bridge.

Then through the stretches of rural marshland, interrupted by Easton and Cambridge and then Salisbury, where, despite running a little bit late, I figured I’d stop off to see the alma mater.

You know, they dropped “State” from the name in 2001 (against the wishes of basically everyone, despite any media about the change claiming students wanted it because we were sick of “Salisbury steak” jokes, which we really didn’t care about since nobody made those mindless jokes except for maybe a family member that thinks they’re funny but actually couldn’t find clever in a wet paper bag saying it once, receiving only a glare that means “are you being serious right now?” which they mistake for confirmation of their non-existent hilarity), yet even in 2016 the recycle cans still have it.

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Chicago 2016

April 16, 2016

One moment in late February I’m idly browsing Southwest’s low fare calendar, and the next I’m saying “$72 roundtrip?! Fuck yeah, I’ll go to Chicago, why not?”

So I did.

I awoke just before 4am on April 16, got dressed and grabbed my bag, and was out the door. I parked at the BWI lot around 5am, waited an annoyingly long time for the shuttle, and finally got to the terminal after 5:30am. Argh! Look at that TSA line. How are so many people traveling this damn early? Wonder if I’ll make my damn flight… Oh, okay, line was moving fairly quickly actually.

I got my barely awake self to the gate and onto the plane, as the sun began to rise over the airfield. Isn’t it pretty?

Then we were off at the scheduled 6:45am departure time.

Two hours later, after a rather lovely aerial view of the southern edge of Lake Michigan and then the big city, we were on the ground at Midway. I made a glance at the long line at their TSA as I headed out, grumbling at what I might have to deal with later. And after playing with the machine a bit, I had my ticket and was on the L train.

Good morning, Chicago!

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Outer Banks 2016

April 3, 2016

It was a bit rainy on Saturday, so I went Sunday, April 3, instead.

Though I had reconsidered going at all after the state’s recent anti-trans asshattery. Why reward the state with my visit if they’re going to tell my trans friends to go fuck themselves?

Then it occurred to me. What does a state get out of tourism? Money. From said tourists coming in and buying things. So if I just go but don’t spend any money there, it’s all good.

So I got on the road that morning, south on I-95, then east on I-64 past Williamsburg and around Norfolk and south to 168, stopping along the way for food as I would be unable to get any afterward.

And then…

Uh oh.

What’s going on?
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Well Played 2015

December 31, 2015

Wow! Another 12-month ride and what a ride it was. Time for the usual cryptic recap. Let’s see…

January: Fire Still Worked

-Takoma Park to Hyattsville: “Be cool like us and lower the voting age!”
-Hyattsville: “Sure!”
-First reading passes!
-Yer a wizard, little brother!
-My phone is dead after nearly a decade.
-Know what that means?
-Smartphone!
-Ah, “Selma” is a good movie.
-Second reading…
-Is Hyattsville to join Takoma Park is being #16tovote land?
-Uuuuuunanimous!

February: 12th & Market

-Game food!
-If I’m going to do this, I’d better hurry up.
-Day trip to Philadelphia! Something about a museum and a Canadian.
-Did my TV spontaneously set a parental control block on a sports channel?
-Downton Abbey has a lot of tragedy, but it’s fine as long as they don’t…
-Okay, time to kick their asses.
-I might be too late. Oh, well.
-Or, no, maybe not. I misunderstood.
-Holy God, why is the fire alarm in the parking garage so goddamn loud?!
-Science articles!
-The dress is blue!

March: Multi-Piece Shipment

-Oh. I’m certainly too late now.
-Lots of bad news at once!
-At least we get a nice snow day. LOL everyone else left early because they’re scared of the snow.
-Wait, not too late, but can’t waste time.
-One full year on the job!
-Sigh. Did he really just yell at our waitress?
-Woman: “Are you an introvert?”
-Me, standing far away from everyone else: “What gave me away?”
-And, after almost ten years, I’m no longer a NYRA board member!
-Thank God.
-Vernal equinox snow!
-Playing a ridiculous game of hot potato in which the only winner is FedEx.
-Now watching Victoria be funny.
-Gahhh, I spilled pasta in the sink and burned myself!

April: Seventy-Seven Dollars

-Some Easter trolling.
-What do you mean I owe state tax?!
-Some event I don’t really want to be at.
-Some other event I don’t really want to be at.
-Someone needs to vent. Okay!

May: Have More Fun

-Trains and a door to nowhere.
-Night before birthday Nats game!
-Box fort.
-Do it! Do it!
-I didn’t do it.
-Cake!
-Okay, now I did it.
-Ugh, I have to report for jury duty.
-Narrow street is narrow.
-I think I can squeeze by…
-CRUNCH!
-And I just destroyed someone’s side view mirror. Ugggghhhhh!
-I haven’t had a truly terrible time driving in DC a while. Clearly I was due for a truly terrible time driving in DC.
-Virginia: “Hey, DC. Challenge accepted.”
-Three hours stuck on the beltway in middle of the night because Virginia is all “look at us, we’re Virginia, we’ll do late night construction and back you up for hours, because fuck you, we’re Virginia!”

June: 37 Years Later

-Oh, good, got out of jury duty after only a couple hours.
-Free donut!
-Belmont. Can you do it, American Pharoah?
-Final turn. Welp, here comes another horse closing in.
-Wait, no, that horse is quitting.
-Could it be…?!
-American Pharoah wins the Triple Crown!!!!
-Sense8
-Picnic!
-Emptying out old storage trailer.
-And Sugarloaf with little brother.
-Inside Out!
-Emptying out hotel room family was living in.
-And they’re off across the country on a train.
-But they left the Wii with me!

July: The Vine

-Chili and ‘splosions!
-WORLD CUP!
-Hey, where’s the air conditioner?
-A couple hours of pulling vines and weeds from backyard garden.
-There it is!
-DONKEY KONG COUNTRY!
-Clearing stuff out.
-What are you doing, laptop?
-Family came back east.
-Loud restaurant is loud!
-Minions!
-Family went out west again.
-They took the Wii this time. D’oh!
-Power outage at work = lots of screaming freezers
-Looking for new laptop.
-Hey, reached 69,000 miles on car on Day 69!

August: Timing

-Crash Bandicoot!
-Zoo!
-Alright, I booked a trip.
-You go in the Rack of Shame!
-Oh crap, I’m in trouble.
-No, it’s okay, I fixed it. For now.
-Car maintenance.
-What do you mean you have to keep it overnight?
-I don’t want a loaner car. I want MY car!
-Hey, I finally did the thing!

September: Yellow Lampshade

-I’m spending Labor Day weekend in San Francisco for some reason.
-Kathleen and I are visiting museums and seeing things.
-And a hookah fell on me.
-Driver: “What park is this?”
-Me: “Golden Gate Park.”
-Driver: “But we’re not near the Golden Gate Bridge.”
-Me: “…seriously?!”
-Stingrays! Sharks! Penguins! Snakes! Swamp!
-Chocolate!
-What do you mean United charges to watch the flight map?!
-I have a stuffed octopus now.
-Ugh, I forgot to do a thing and don’t have a good reason for why I forgot to do a thing!
-Middle Eastern Bazaar!
-Fezzes are cool.
-Sushi.
-Pope.
-Lunar eclipse.
-I’m invited to a thing!
-Now there’s a hurricane coming, compromising the thing.

October: Nine and a Half Hours

-Nope, hurricane is going elsewhere. The thing is unaffected.
-To Philadelphia and southern New Jersey! Something about mosaics, an injured squirrel, and a Canadian.
-Winter Festival script reading!
-Wow, twenty years of these songs that remind me of things.
-Gallery of Art and then Middle Eastern food!
-Collective Soul!
-Gah, I forgot about the emissions test I’ve been getting reminders for since August!
-I forgot to do things and I’m going to get in trouble for forgetting to do the things!
-Oh, wait, they don’t care about the things. Whew!
-Annual Sugarloaf climb!
-Passing out candy to adorable costumed children! And some teens and adults. LOL

November: 1:48pm

-I was sitting far away from everyone else in my group. Now with renovation, they’ve been moved next to me!
-I’m so happy!
-WES Auction: trying not to buy or sign up for too much shit this time
-Damn it.
-Did 97.1 go to Christmas mode the day after Veteran’s Day? I wonder why so much earlier than usual.
-Ugh, not another Paris attack.
-Think I’ll make turkey chops for Solo Thanksgiving.
-Heh, look at those turkey breasts, and all they’re complicated instructions. I’ll read them for the hell of it.
-Actually, this looks doable.
-Buy the roasting pan!
-Mockingjay, Part 2! It made me feel emotions!
-Alright, I’ll break with tradition and book a trip for Christmas.
-What do you mean the return flight fare went up $95 just before I clicked purchase?!
-Time for Solo Thanksgiving! Will I be lonely?
-Nope, too busy making the turkey to give a crap.
-Ugh, I wish this turkey wouldn’t keep tipping over.
-Is it up to temperature yet? Is it up to temperature yet?
-Okay, this thing has been in for about three hours. I wonder if it’s edible.
-Holy crap, the turkey is edible. I made a Thanksgiving turkey! Achievement unlocked!
-Solo Thanksgiving ftw!
-Lots of leftovers!
-Shit. Why does my whole downstairs smell like gas?
-And here’s the fire department.
-What do you mean you can’t smell it?
-Oh, wait, this other guy can. Good, I’m not crazy. I think.
-There’s nothing wrong with the heater? Good. Then why the gas? Odd.

December: Same Fan with Weird Stripe

-Spinach Bean Thing for holiday potluck at work.
-And Perfection. I perfected Perfection.
-The Good Dinosaur!
-Nutella cookies!
-Lots of Winter Festival rehearsals.
-Lots of cookies for Cookie Walk.
-I’m Muffin the Cat!
-Brookside lights!
-Where the fuck did my headband go?
-Star Wars: The Force Awakens!
-Less Christmas shopping as usual because already dropped a bunch of money on flight.
-Did I really make these peanut butter cookies myself?!
-Seneca Creek Winter Lights!
-Have lots of chocolate, coworkers!
-Silent Night selfie!
-Why the mother of hell did I book a flight on Christmas Day?
-Yup, no parking in Dulles Economy Lot.
-Oh, wait, there’s some spaces.
-My feast of roast beast is in the form of a sandwich from Potbelly. Still counts.
-I called it roast beast when I ordered it. They didn’t notice.
-Did the flight crew just give us the pre-flight safety info in the form of a paraody of A Visit from Saint Nicholas?!
-The flight map is on my phone! The flight map is on my phone!
-Me, to family: “I come from the east bearing gifts after following a star.” Technically true.
-Some prix-fixe prime rib for Christmas dinner! Mmmm.
-Some relatives I haven’t seen in forever.
-After a few days of that, time to come home.
-What do you mean the flight is oversold and I can’t get on the plane?!
-First the fare going up right before I booked and now this?!
-Oh, wait, they got me on after all. Yay!
-Holy crap, Dulles is foggy!
-Back to work and package related annoyances.
-Screw, let’s get some snow crab legs and end this year already.
-And, holy crap, how the hell did I manage to post every day in December?!
-Oh, because all the posts are crap that I wouldn’t post the rest of the year. Meh.

What a year! I feel like big things are happening. There were lots of changes in this year, and there’s still plenty of promise, plenty I’m waiting to see how they turn out. Isn’t that the business of life? Something like that.

Goodbye, 2015! We had a time. Alright, 2016. I see you up there in Times Square. Bring it on!

Oversold

December 30, 2015

So I flew on an airplane yesterday, coming back from my aforementioned Christmas travel (never again!), but I almost didn’t fly on an airplane yesterday.

I checked my suitcase and got a security pass or something rather than an actual boarding pass. No earthly idea why, just the way that airline rolls I guess. I get to my gate to get my boarding pass and then I’m told “Flight is oversold and everyone else is checked in. You stay behind.” And I’m like “I already checked my suitcase! Can I have it back?” And they’re like “No, that’s going to Dulles. You stay behind.” They go on about denied boarding compensation, admittedly a nice sum that would be quite a bit more than the amount I would lose by missing work the next day, but my concern was that I wanted to go home, and it was cold and my coat was in my suitcase. They said that if someone volunteers as tribute for said compensation, I would then be able to board. And, fortunately, that’s exactly what happened. Thanks, unknown volunteer!

Why the fuck did that even happen? Who lets you check your suitcase and then be like “you wanted to board a plane you paid a bunch of money to fly on? LOL nope!”?

Also, when I booked this round trip a month ago, I got an error message when I went to confirm the purchase because between getting to the final page to enter info and clicking “confirm”, the fare for the return flight went up $95. -_-

Meh. Let’s close out this year already…

Slot-Shaming

December 26, 2015

Slot machines and other gambling gadgets are everywhere in Nevada. It’s kind of gross. Not just in actual casinos. Malls. Gas stations. Even the airports. If you want to compulsively piss your money and time away, this state makes damn sure to provide. They even supply the free alcohol to quiet your ability to think or self-reflect so that you’ll keep feeding the machine.

This of course also comes the 21+ age restrictions on all this, so that even though they are unscrupulously profiting off people destroying their financial health by gambling and destroying their physical health by drinking, at least they can pretend they’re Protecting Children. 🙄

Connections

December 3, 2015

When flying, I’ve only ever had a layover twice, in 1997 and 1998, and both were in Denver, going on to Salt Lake City and Albuquerque respectively. Family vacations. Of flights I’ve booked myself, they’ve always been nonstop. I insist on it.

That 1998 trip, we missed the first flight and had to catch a later one, which in turn made us miss the second leg, which we had to get the next morning. Annoying.

And not worth it! Unless the flight is really goddamn long or it’s absolutely not an option for whatever reason, nonstop is the way to go.

But in those situations where a connecting flight is necessary, the connection should at least make sense. The connection point should at least not be completely out of the way. When I went to London in 2009, thankfully there were plenty of direct flights from Dulles to Heathrow, but the search pulled up some that would get to London by way of Munich. Munich! As in clear past London, only to turn around and come back. What the hell? There are flights to Seattle-Tacoma from here that would connect at Dallas-Fort Worth, swinging way to the south and very much not in the direction of Seattle from Washington DC. There are flights to Las Vegas that connect in New York-JFK or Boston-Logan or Long Beach.

These don’t make any damn sense! If any one leg of a trip with at least one stop is longer than the nonstop flight, something is terribly wrong.

Or it’s the airline industry being the airline industry. Something like that.