Tag: 100 Days of Summer

Like It’s a Decade After 1999

June 8, 2009

I hereby decree…

Stop using the phrase “Party like it’s 1999!”

Seriously. I mean, I could sort of see maybe back in the 1980’s and 90’s this might have been a sort of “ooh, in the future, in 1999, we’re going to party so hard because that’s the last one before the numbers change, lulz!” Very stupid, but I can at least kind of see it.

If you’ll take a moment, please consult your nearest calendar for the current year. Or just look at the date on top of this entry. What year is that? Wow, really? Is it really 2009?

Oh noes! You missed teh big party year! It’s been a full decade since then!

Or, maybe, you didn’t do anything special in 1999 but want to pretend you did or that 1999 will somehow come again so you’ll have another chance. Either way, using the phrase whether before or after that year makes you sound like an immense douchebag, albeit in different ways.

Though not as much as if said during 1999…

“Duuude, we’re going to party like it’s 1999!”
“Hey, look at the calendar, man. It IS 1999!”
“OMG, holy shit! I guess we’d better party then.”
“Cool, dude! Hey, got any weed?”
“Nah, man, got a new job, have to take a piss test.”
“Totally bogus! I’d be in all kinds of deep shit if I had to for my job.”
“Hey, it’s alright. Here, want some coffee?”
“Sure, thanks man! So what should we do now?”
“I don’t know. Find the guys and see what they’re up to.”
“Awesome! Tonight is going to kick ass. Hell yeah!”
“Duuude, we’re going to party like it’s 1999!”
“Hey, look at the calendar, man. It IS 1999!”

Yes, that is how you sound if you say this phrase. Seriously.

The mystery is gone, folks. We’re past 1999. The nineties have ended and we’re almost done with the aughts. If you’re planning on partying, just do it whenever since you’re just getting older and older and it’s incredibly wasteful and silly to be earmarking an arbitrary year for “partying hard”. Just go ahead and guzzle that entire beer keg, blow up your liver in the process, die, and be out of our hair, kthx.

This has been Day 16 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 9.

Seriously?!

May 29, 2009

Look at this game.

RapeLay

You saw that right. We’re talking about a real video game where the object of the game is to capture and rape girls. Think about that for a moment. I’m just speechless.

The game is sold in Japan (cue common vehement question “What the FUCK is wrong with Japan?!”) and trying to come to the United States. Of course, there’s a buttload of controversy over that.

But regardless of what happens involving whether the game is banned and where, there’s a bigger thing to wonder here, though I suppose the answer to that wonderment is the usual “humanity is just that fucked up”.
Continue reading “Seriously?!”

Utah to Jack Thompson: STFU

May 26, 2009

I think I’ll join them in that…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Seriously, Jack Thompson, put a fucking sock in it already.

For anyone who needs the reminder, Jack Thompson is the disbarred (LOL) attorney who always has a bug up his ass about video games and anything else with content that he finds offensive. Not unlike the idiots in Wisconsin I talked about last week, he isn’t content just letting shit be and turning his attention to things that offend him less (as opposed to not offending him at all, in which case I’m not sure any such thing exists). No, no, he has to save the world from things that offend him. Is there a sizable number of people to whom these things are not offensive, perhaps enjoyable? Well, screw them, because it’s Jack’s feelings about it that matter, no one else’s.

If you need any more proof to his batshit insanity, even Utah is telling him to STFU. And because of that, he’s threatening to sue the State of Utah. Let’s see.
Continue reading “Utah to Jack Thompson: STFU”

Phenylephrine Phail

August 29, 2008

Alright, first of all, I know I’m seriously behind the times on this. I know I heard about it happening way back when but didn’t really think about what it meant until now. When it affects me. LOL

So a couple days ago, I came down with the telltale eustachian tube pain and runny nose. Crap. I’m getting a cold. Been 14 months since my last one, and both were the very strange summer colds. June and August are usually safe months, but nooo.

Fine, I got a cold. Okay. It’s not so bad. Not when I’ve got my trusty Tylenol Cold! I believe I’ve given a brief history of my colds and that medicine before. So I figured I’d dull the malady’s annoyances along with feeling really really good like Tylenol Cold does to me.
Continue reading “Phenylephrine Phail”

Violent Video Games

August 13, 2008

Now for a gory yet clever edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, violent video game manufacturers!”

You people are so stupid. No, not the manufacturers. The general public. The manufacturers are quite intelligent. They see a mass of humans who will shriek at the mere idea of mixing kids and violence in any way (unless it’s violence perpetrated by the parents, in which case they’re all for it, but that’s another matter entirely). What does that usually mean? Lots of sensationalist news reports. So finally the video game makers thought to themselves “wouldn’t free advertising be awesome?”
Continue reading “Violent Video Games”

Kids Are Welcome

August 10, 2008

On the NYRA forums, some new person posted about a blog he saw some place that apparently lauded the idea of a “separate internet” just for kids. The idea being that the internet as we know it be kept an “adult only” territory while creating a super censored, “kid friendly” online zone just for those under 18.

Now, I was quick to tell this person that he needn’t worry since it was just a random blog entry some place, not even a high-profile blog or anything. If any random blog entry changed the world, goodness! Nonetheless, it got me thinking.
Continue reading “Kids Are Welcome”

It’s Good to Be Queen

July 29, 2008

There’s a belief that every little girl is a princess, or should at least be told she is. What does it mean to be a princess? Who knows? Adults think it’s an endearing thing to tell little girls and think it’s just adorable when they act upon it. How? They idolize Snow White, Cinderella, Belle, Ariel, Jasmine, or whoever else, wear clothes with them on it, and dress up like them, for Halloween or otherwise. I myself was Snow White for Halloween at age five. But what did this princess ideal mean? Really, it comes down to the little girl being an object of affection, particularly from males, usually her father, but in the older form of the princess, this includes boys her own age perhaps, or at least the expectation of such. She was special, to be pampered and showered with gifts, and her only job was to sit there and look pretty and cute.
Continue reading “It’s Good to Be Queen”

Work Like a Dog

July 15, 2008

1. Make students work like dogs
2. Make students work like dogs even more
3. Make students work like dogs still more
4. ????
5. PROFIT!!!!!

So when I was at work earlier, was after hours but a few of us still there, my coworker (he’s Chinese, which I mention because it’ll be relevant in a sec) got to chatting with me and other coworker (Indian) and talked about all the activities his kids usually do over the summers. Usually they were stuck into all kinds of summer camps and whatnot. Basically, their summers are just as if not more busy than the school year. Coworker went on talking happily about it, even saying that if they weren’t, they’d just be indoors sitting in front of the TV or a video game. He went on to mention that this year he might not do the summer camps but instead get them into some kind of tutoring for math and English. At this point, I asked how old his kids were, and he said they’re 9 and 11. I didn’t ask whether their grades were subpar or anything to have merited the tutoring, but from how the conversation continued, I figured otherwise. Tutoring was not for improvement of grades. It was to keep up studying momentum, to keep the flow of studying and homework going. Hell, not even to necessarily speed up the kids’ progress in the subjects. Just to keep them doing it in general.
Continue reading “Work Like a Dog”

Margaritaville

July 7, 2008

I hereby decree…

The live bar performer will play Margaritaville.

Without exception, without fail. Or no, very much with fail. This song is way overplayed. Some loser with a guitar who got fortunate enough for some Saturday night bar gig where he’ll spend the evening badly covering various popular songs will soon enough stumble upon this Jimmy Buffett ballad.

People eat it up, as they often do with the most tiresome, clichè acts. “ZOMG, awesome, he’s playing Margaritaville while we’re in a bar, he’s liek sooo kewl!”

What other gems shall we hear? “Closing Time” perhaps? Maybe even “Tub Thumpin'”. Or, perhaps not, those are too recent. Still bar songs. Even if played, not the least bit creative, but with Margaritaville, shit, song’s old so everybody knows it and you don’t piss off the older bar goers who want to pretend the year 1980 has not yet come.

All I wanted was to go to a restaurant on some evening, but in the restaurant’s bar they have some dumb live band or whatever. Margaritaville will be played. That train is never late. I mean, the song stops being clever after the second or third time you hear it, if it ever was. Playing it over and over just speeds up the brain damage the bar people are already on the verge of with their copious alcohol consumption. Ugh.

(Speaking of stupidity, prepare yourself for like 500 comments all saying “ZOMG, finally, a new entry!”)

This has been Day 45 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 8.

No Chance in a Google Era

June 14, 2008

So the other day, I got this strange call on my cell phone. Annoying recording. Voice came on saying something like “this message is to warn you that the warranty on your vehicle is about to expire” and went on to say to wait for a rep to come on and talk, blah blah. Hung up right away and didn’t give it another thought. Not sure how telemarketers got my number, but whatever. My car is several years away from warranty expiration.

The number is usually blocked, but this time it wasn’t. It was 818-870-8127.
Continue reading “No Chance in a Google Era”