Like It’s a Decade After 1999

I hereby decree…

Stop using the phrase “Party like it’s 1999!”

Seriously. I mean, I could sort of see maybe back in the 1980’s and 90’s this might have been a sort of “ooh, in the future, in 1999, we’re going to party so hard because that’s the last one before the numbers change, lulz!” Very stupid, but I can at least kind of see it.

If you’ll take a moment, please consult your nearest calendar for the current year. Or just look at the date on top of this entry. What year is that? Wow, really? Is it really 2009?

Oh noes! You missed teh big party year! It’s been a full decade since then!

Or, maybe, you didn’t do anything special in 1999 but want to pretend you did or that 1999 will somehow come again so you’ll have another chance. Either way, using the phrase whether before or after that year makes you sound like an immense douchebag, albeit in different ways.

Though not as much as if said during 1999…

“Duuude, we’re going to party like it’s 1999!”
“Hey, look at the calendar, man. It IS 1999!”
“OMG, holy shit! I guess we’d better party then.”
“Cool, dude! Hey, got any weed?”
“Nah, man, got a new job, have to take a piss test.”
“Totally bogus! I’d be in all kinds of deep shit if I had to for my job.”
“Hey, it’s alright. Here, want some coffee?”
“Sure, thanks man! So what should we do now?”
“I don’t know. Find the guys and see what they’re up to.”
“Awesome! Tonight is going to kick ass. Hell yeah!”
“Duuude, we’re going to party like it’s 1999!”
“Hey, look at the calendar, man. It IS 1999!”

Yes, that is how you sound if you say this phrase. Seriously.

The mystery is gone, folks. We’re past 1999. The nineties have ended and we’re almost done with the aughts. If you’re planning on partying, just do it whenever since you’re just getting older and older and it’s incredibly wasteful and silly to be earmarking an arbitrary year for “partying hard”. Just go ahead and guzzle that entire beer keg, blow up your liver in the process, die, and be out of our hair, kthx.

This has been Day 16 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 9.