I hereby decree….
All vitamins and medicines must be chewable!
Well, not only chewable but tasty as well. I mean, technically vitamin B12 and One-a-Day pills can be chewed but they taste like shit. Chewing may become necessary if you’re like me and can’t swallow a pill that’s so fucking big. Boy, was I pleased to find Centrum makes yummy orange flavored chewable vitamins. They make children’s vitamins chewable and delicious! They can do it for all of them. And, damn it, they should!
Same goes for medicines. All medicines that it is humanly possible to do so for should have chewable versions. Keep the swallowing pill kinds for those who want it, but I want chewables! Yummy chewables that don’t taste like some sour or bitter shit. Stomach medicines are usually quite good about it. Good for them. Cold medicines? They need to be chewable. I mean, what fucking good is a big-ass pill going to be when one of the main symptoms of having a cold is throat and tonsil inflammation which, you guessed it!, makes swallowing especially difficult?! Grrr.
And syrupy or hot-liquid type medicines aren’t good either! Some are good (orange Triaminic, for one!), but they suck too. Alka-Seltzer is kind of a grey area. But, yeah, chewables all the way, dammit!