Can Hardly Wait

December 21, 2009

Goodness, how many Christmas songs am I going to criticize?! 😀

The one of the moment is “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”. It’s an okay song as a whole, if a bit dated. But there is one line in it that just sticks out like a Mormon on SnipeMe.

“And mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again.”

Wow, WTF? I mean, I’m not blaming the song for this line, because it can’t help, well, speaking the truth. Line comes right after listing what some kids hope to get for Christmas. I guess like a whole this-is-what-these-people-are-thinking during the Christmas season. Kids are eagerly anticipating their gifts, and the parents… wish the kids would STFU and go back to school already.

Ah, those mature responsible adults. :irked:

Frosty the… Puddle

December 20, 2009

So on Friday night, Frosty the Snowman was on TV. The hat is put on him, he comes to life and says “Happy Birthday” for some reason, they dance around and have fun, but then they realize he’ll be gone once the snow melts.

So they figure the best way to remedy this is to stow away on a train that’s heading for the North Pole for some reason. Stuff happens and they end up off the train short of reaching the point where every direction is south, so Frosty and the little girl Karen are lost in the woods and Karen is freezing to death, so they somehow end up finding a greenhouse full of poinsettias. What luck!
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SNOMG!!!

December 19, 2009

So we just got like 16 inches of snow. WIN!

So I went outside earlier to brush some of it off my car, then slipped on some ice, went back inside for a minute, then went back out, brushed some more snow off my car, froze, and back inside again. Good times.

Check it out…

It’s like a cross between a blue sedan and a jagged snowy mountain. This was before I started brushing snow off, but I didn’t really finish the job, and it now looks more like a jagged snowy mountain growing over my little car, all covered except for the red NYRA sticker. 😀

Season’s Greetings from NYRA!

December 18, 2009

Today, I’m proud to announce I have completed the sending of the 4th Annual NYRA Holiday Cards! Largest batch yet by a wide margin, a whopping 480 NYRA holiday cards were sent this year!

I find it interesting that this being the fourth year in a row that I’ve done this whole entry-a-day in December thing, having started that the same December I sent NYRA’s first holiday cards, this is the only time I’ve really specifically mentioned them on here, save for the bit last year about the sentient post office machine and a blurb in the 2007 and 2008 recaps.
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Two Decades of Yellow Goodness

December 17, 2009

And now for a stateless, animated edition of…

Here’s to You!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, Simpsons!”

It was twenty years ago today the pilot episode “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire” first aired. Nah, I wasn’t watching. Didn’t start watching until the second season actually. But even before then, for some reason, I decided Bart was my favorite character. They were on the cover of a TV Guide, and I showed it to my dad’s friend and pointed to him saying “that one is my favorite”, and he said “You mean Bart?” and I’m like “oh, is that his name?” Something like that. To this day, I still call Bart my favorite character, though it’s really sort of a three-way tie with him and Lisa and Maggie, depending on the episode.
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Cut to the Chase

December 16, 2009

And now for a Christmas miraculous edition of…

Here’s to You!!!!

So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, NYRA!”

For today, after several weeks of toiling and bugging the crap out of everyone for votes in some Facebook contest sponsored by Chase bank, NYRA has met with success. Amazing, breathtaking, miraculous success on this December 16, 2009, nine days before Christmas and 6th night of Chanukah…

NYRA has won $25,000.

For so long, we’ve been a small-budgeted organization, weak next to bigger stronger organizations who can run big ass campaigns and hire staff who aren’t starving to death. For so long, we’ve had members who wanted to help out but didn’t know how and we didn’t know what to have them do. We’ve always been great at keeping ourselves afloat during adversity like a cork in the bath tub, but we’ve still been seemingly without direction and without a future.

Perhaps God showed us mercy. What is known is that all our people had to do was vote for us. What with it not costing anything and being very straight forward instructions, it had a recipe for success. What is known is that, somehow or another, we built our miracle at last, through Keith’s incessant calling of members, through Alex’s exhausting tabling, and the invaluable efforts of our other members, who all came together, believing that this could be done.

We built this Christmas miracle. Or Chanukah miracle, as Hal suggested, seeing as it is Chanukah right now and a lot of our members are Jewish. It wasn’t just handed to us. Well, the opportunity arose, but it took us, all of us, our determination and efforts, and we made it happen. We waited all day today for the results to get posted, biting our nails nervously, worrying it may all have been for naught. And then, around 6pm, Alex got the e-mail. And then, we found the miracle we had been building up had happened, had shown bright before us. Shining bright the future of the youth rights movement that merely six months ago we thought may just be a pipe dream. Shining bright for us to walk into and build it up together.

Doctors and Lawyers

December 15, 2009

If you’re a doctor or a lawyer, congrats, because you’re the right type of person and are automatically a professional success.

I guess.

If you’re one of those two, congrats, because your family and friends will actually be proud of you and boast about you.

You’re a doctor or a lawyer, so that means you’re rich! ZOMG!

That’s why it’s so sad when kids die. Had they lived and grown up they could have become doctors or lawyers.

That’s why it’s so sad when kids fall into drug use and screw up their schooling. If they had stayed clean, they could have become doctors or lawyers.

That’s why no one is nearly as worried about adult drug use, because they’re already too old to become doctors or lawyers apparently. Unless they are already.

I mean, why else would you go to college? Why else would you major in biology or political science? What, are you just going to be some loser who works in a cubicle? Please. Unless your college years led to medical or law school, they were a waste of time and money.

That’s why you’re horrified to find yourself in a mediocre office job at age 45. You aren’t a doctor or a lawyer, so your life has never been successful.

If your mother thought you’d be anything but a doctor or a lawyer, she would have aborted you even if she were a staunch pro-lifer.

Failing scores on the MCAT and LSAT are a leading cause of suicide.

When you tell your second grade teacher what you want to be when you grow up, and your answer is anything other than doctor or lawyer, don’t be surprised when she and all your subsequent teachers seem to stop noticing you exist, while the kid sitting next to you wanting to take over his father’s law firm is the star pupil, and the teacher always grins sweetly at the girl across the room who dreams of working magic in the operating room.

Look at all those kids on the honor roll, especially the ones with asterisks next to their names, denoting their straight A’s. If anything other than medicine or law is on their horizon, oh what a tragic waste of talent!

If you’re a girl, well, that’s okay if you didn’t manage to be a doctor or a lawyer, so long as you marry one. Wait, you mean you didn’t marry a doctor or a lawyer? You aren’t going to get married at all? GASP! Failure!

We must help ghetto kids get an education, so they can grow up to be doctors or lawyers. The ones who don’t can stay there and rot.

We must never forget the disastrous attacks of September 11, 2001. After all, many doctors and lawyers perished.

Christmas Voyeur

December 14, 2009

Some Christmas songs are so terrible they are worth being griped about multiple times. I speak again about the entity responsible for horrid neuron-genocide known as “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus”.

Really, it does the same thing that “Santa Baby” does, in that it actually sort of implicitly sexualizes Santa Claus. In the case of “Santa Baby”, it’s about some chick wanting Santa to hurry down the chimney and bring her presents, and it’s sung in such a tune that those “presents” could be just about anything and certainly not all she wants (giggity). Which is messed up when you figure Santa Claus is like 1700 years old, and unless the singer is supposed to be Mrs. Claus, we’re talking a girl with some major daddy issues.
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Plight of Hope

December 13, 2009

I’m so sick of this crap. Look at this!

What happened to Hope Witsell

Go read that.

Pretty sad, huh? Thirteen-year-old Hope Witsell sent a boy a topless pic of herself (OMG sexting! aahhh!) and all the adults in her life go out of their way to make her life miserable over it, shaming her, convincing her she’s soiled and forever ruined… and they have the goddamn NERVE to wonder why she ended up killing herself!
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Semitic Cousins

December 12, 2009

I hereby decree…

Arabs and Jews are the same people!

I might want to throw Greeks and Italians into that mix, too, for a lot of this.

Last night was the first night of Chanukah, and I can guarantee all our Jewish friends were up late and stuffed themselves with lots of delicious food. And they’ll do the same tonight. And tomorrow night. Eating and celebrating, running late into the night, with lots and lots of people.
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