No Sugar for Students

April 6, 2011

Dear Overzealous Anti-Sugar School Official,

Awww, isn’t that cute? You hear that sugar is evil and want to keep kids away from it. You’ll go to any ridiculous lengths to keep them from buying it themselves!

What’s this? You soooo badly don’t want students drinking anything other than water ever that you’ll bully stores into not selling anything to them? Stores that, I might add, have no connection to your school whatsoever? Oh, well, isn’t that just lovely. I mean, that’s totally justified seeing as the students aren’t people or anything and as their principal, I believe they are officially your own property! Goodness, why stop at dictating food and drink choices? But I digress.

Or, wait a minute. That’s not right. I’d say that students are PEOPLE. And as real individual people, they belong only to themselves. You aren’t even their parent. All you do is act as administrator of the place they’re forced to spend several hours of their day whether they like it or not. Does that make them constitute your property? And doesn’t the idea I even have to ask that question raise concerns over whether you should be teaching or even being near any children ever?

So sugar is just sooooo bad for children that it’s abuse if an adult were to allow a grain of it to touch the child’s lips. Is that what you believe? No, moron, I’ll tell you what’s abuse. The abuse here is dictating the living shit out of every little thing a child does, denying her the choice of what food and drink she consumes, and preventing her from exercising even the tiniest bit of economic autonomy just to buy a goddamn bottle of juice if she wants it!

In short, go die in a fire. Or at least stay away from kids. You’re a thousand times worse for them than sugar ever could be.

Wishing You Great Pain,

Katrina

Sigma Sigma

March 24, 2011

I hereby decree…

Stop using sigmas as Es!

How often do we see this shit?

GRΣΣK

Oh, isn’t that clever? Instead of the letter E they use a sigma (Σ) which totally looks like an E and is totally Greek! LOLOLOL

Just one problem. The Greek letter sigma is not an E. It’s an S. So what is spelled up there is basically “Grssk”.

But hey, I can see your predicament. You want to pretend you’re all smart and making something look Greek in a very half-alpha-sigma-sigma’d way and it’s not like the Greek equivalent to the letter E looks all that much like the Roman E…

Oh wait, this is an epsilon: Ε

*facepalm*

But is that too identical to an E for you? Here’s a lowercase epsilon: ε

And here’s what you were trying to spell: Grεεk

True, by Greek phonetics and whatnot that still isn’t technically correct but at the very least you’re matching up the correct letters!

And speaking of Greek letter gripes, can people quit using a lowercase U when writing the metric denomination “micro”? For example, when they say 1ug (1 microgram)? It’s not a U. It’s supposed to be 1µg. That’s not a lowercase U. That’s a lowercase mu.

Seriously, I told this to this cow I’m friends with for some reason, and she agrees.

It’s Best

March 22, 2011

How can anybody possibly have a problem with breastfeeding?

Every now and then I hear about some mall or museum or whatever that kicked out a mother for feeding her baby in public. Even if that doesn’t happen, there are still other people who flip their lid over it for some reason. “Oh, noes, that horrible woman is exposing her breast and a baby is sucking on it!”

Hey, idiots. What the fuck do you think breasts are FOR? They aren’t sexual organs, outside of exhibiting some sensitivity and reactions to arousal. But then again, so does most of the body. To your stupid self, the mother is exposing a shameful sexual part, but to the baby, she’s allowing him/her access to FOOD. How would you like it if people got pissed at you for eating in public? And, hell, some people’s eating habits are way more gross than breastfeeding could possibly be (not that breastfeeding is disgusting at all, mind you). But you’re not anywhere near as likely to be asked to leave for chewing with your mouth open as a new mother is for nursing her baby. Hell, if you’re eating some nachos near me, I’ll be gagging on the smell of the cheese. That I would find disgusting. Much rather a breastfeeding mom were near me than you. But in that case, I would simply get up and move away to where I can no longer smell the cheese. Like you should do if you’re so bothered by how a little baby is eating.
Continue reading “It’s Best”

Mmmm, Candy Hearts 6

February 14, 2011

*munches candy hearts*

What are they saying? “YOU RULE”. Yes, yes, I know. “HELLO”. Well, hello yourself, little candy heart! “MY CUTIE”. Why, thank you! “SEE YA”. Bye! “GET REAL”. Well, fine, be that way!

Anyway, where was I? Ah, yes, the sixth installment of Mmmm, Candy Hearts, the Sure, Why Not? Valentine’s Day tradition! Where I remark about how people who are in relationships or are dying to be in relationships just utterly fail hard. I don’t claim to be an expert, not that anyone can really make that claim, but sometimes watching the way people handle this hot potato known as love is just intriguing.
Continue reading “Mmmm, Candy Hearts 6”

Sunday Superbowl Sunday!

February 6, 2011

Superbowl XLV just ended. Congrats, Green Bay Packers! And thanks for preventing yet another Superbowl from going to the goddamn Steelers.

Anyway, so a lot of us just spent the past several hours watching the game as well as a lot of funny, stupid, and grossly offensive ads that cost many millions to air. And I made cookies, of course. It’s a pastime! It’s the Superbowl!

Then there were the people who just want to bitch and bitch through the whole thing. I don’t mean the people pointing out the misandry, misogyny, and other social ills prevalent in the event, particularly the advertising. Those are legitimate concerns and very worth calling out.

I mean the people who act like they’re hot shit because they aren’t into sports and find the whole thing to be a frivolous waste of time and money. And they must make damn sure everyone around them knows they feel this way. Because they are Very Smart and we benefit from this wisdom. God forbid they should just accept that sometimes that magical glowing box will display something that a lot of people will watch that they personally aren’t interested in, because it’s not like there’s any other way they can use the time!

After the game, I saw a tweet that made me facepalm pretty hard:

OK, 3 hours and about 10 billion dollars later. How is Darfur or Haiti any better off? Enjoy your Doritos. And your Bud.

Really? That’s the card you’re playing? The “there are people suffering elsewhere in the world, so how dare we indulge in our own culture” card? In all fairness, in glancing at that person’s other tweets, he seemed to be watching the game like everyone else, so perhaps not the intention. But it might have been of the crapload of people who retweeted it.

And, yes, I just referred to the Superbowl as a cultural thing. Because it is, consumerism notwithstanding. Yes, we live in a society (world?) that commercializes the hell out of everything even remotely of social importance. Our society is capitalist. This is to be expected. Despite my obvious liberal leanings, capitalism is not in and of itself evil or wrong. It’s just that it oftentimes can be evil and wrong and that should be kept in check. But on Superbowl Sunday, people get together and have parties to watch it, or are like me and watch it alone, there’s excitement leading up to it, there’s other events and activities involved. It’s got all the signs of a cultural event, and just because that culture is American doesn’t make that invalid. Contrary to common stereotype, yes, we Americans have a culture. This is part of it.

Not that those who bitch about the Superbowl because it’s a commercialized cesspool are really worried about that specifically. They just want to bitch about it because, again, they think they’re better than everyone else and want to pretend their stance is because of some sort of real concern rather than annoying others over their personal preference.

As for the “why are we worrying about this frivolous crap?” line, well, do these people listen to music? Watch movies? Play games? Read books? All these things could be considered frivolous. You sound like a damn Puritan.

And of course sports are more frivolous than, say, politics. In fact, it’s sort of WHY we like it. It’s why I can grow really tense watching the last few minutes of a Redskins-Cowboys game, yet secure in the knowledge that regardless of what happens, my life once the game is over will be the same. I’ll still be up the next morning and going to work. There’s a weird sense of fun placing importance, talking trash, feeling intense competition over something that really doesn’t change our lives (assuming no gambling is involved).

But I do have to admit the Puppy Bowl rules. 😀

Jokes that Need to Die

February 2, 2011

Now for a pseudo-humorous, stale edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

I consider sense of humor to be perhaps the most important character trait in anyone. Couldn’t very well go through life without it. Funny stuff is fun. However, then you get the jokes that just get repeated over and over, from different people acting like they invented it and that they’re so smart and witty. If they were ever clever, it was lost long ago.

Two very recent examples?

“I don’t understand! How could Tunisia have overthrown their government without me signing a petition or changing my Twitter avatar?”

And…

“The new Starbucks Trenta is larger than the average human stomach! Lulz!”
Continue reading “Jokes that Need to Die”

Smooth as a…

January 6, 2011

I hereby decree…

Babies aren’t sexy!

Happy Epiphany, everyone! It’s the official last day of the 2010 Christmas season, which in practice mostly just means that tomorrow it’s time to take down the decorations and for me to put my Santa Claus pin away until Thanksgiving. Always sad. But, contrary to my perhaps unsatisfactory posting frequency when it isn’t December, Sure, Why Not? is still here to celebrate the win, the fail, and the lulz.

Now let’s talk about the sexualization of infants…

Is anyone else really creeped out by ads on TV and elsewhere for skin products that seem to place a lot of emphasis on the smoothness of a baby’s skin? There’s that Johnson & Johnson baby oil ad that’s been on a few times where throughout the entire thing, some woman is downright fondling a little baby. It starts off with her kissing him on the lips, and throughout she also kisses his feet and rubs his baby-smooth stomach and arms and face. Why? Because he’s a little baby that makes his skin so smooth and fun to touch and rub! Oh joy!

Also creepy are ads for women’s skin products that at some point show a baby or toddler to point out that this cream will make your skin feel all smooth like theirs! Use this skin cream and your skin will be so soft you’ll feel like a baby! A sexy baby. Or a baby-like woman. Textural attractiveness means your features feeling like you spent most of the past year in a womb, be it the smooth baby skin as dictated by skin creams and moisturizers or soft baby hair as sung by Hall & Oates (though they at least think the eyes should be a woman’s).

Of course, the infantilization of women isn’t exactly new and is something feminists have been battling in several forms for about as long as there have been feminists!

Hey, I’m not saying anything against smooth skin. That’s fine. But when extolling how attractive and hot and sexy smooth soft skin and other features are, think you could, you know, leave the little kids out of that one? We really shouldn’t be encouraging people to find their features attractive and definitely not to feel them up!

And can we get rid of the phrase “smooth as a baby’s behind”? You’re talking about someone’s ass, for God’s sake!

*takes down lights, takes off pin*

WTF 2010

December 31, 2010

And here we are. New Year’s Eve 2010, looking ahead to the still uncertain 2011. Though more on 2011 a year from now once it has actually occurred. Right now, let’s have a look back at 2010. It’s a year that from the get-go seemed rather, well, odd. Now through it, well, it was odd, certainly annoying much of the time, and certainly without a lot of the awesome encounters previous years had. Though with two heart-breaking losses. In any case, now for the recap!

January: Check Engine

-I think I’ll make guacamole
-Wow, this guacamole is fucking gross. Ack! Is this earwax?!
-Oh, I got the wrong kind of avocados. Okay.
-I need to get NYRA’s blog restarted.
-Ugh, NYRA online community is pissing me off, seriously.
-I’ll try this guacamole again, with the right avocados this time…
-Yummy!
-WTF?! Why is my check engine light on?
-Oh, I left the gas cap loose. Lulz
-I think I’ve got an idea for a hashtag Twitter campaign for NYRA.
-Still awkward and uncomfortable? Well, fuck you too then!
Continue reading “WTF 2010”

Extreme Temps, Extremist Bullcrap

December 30, 2010

Now for an environmental, temperate edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

You know what I’m really getting fucking sick of? Or, at least, that I’m choosing to mention at the moment? Every time the temperature dips a little higher or a little lower than is normal for a given season, you get wingnut assholes deciding this is some definite information about global warming.

You see it from both sides…

“OMG, it’s a 70 degree day in January! Global warming has killed winter!”

“OMG, it’s a 50 degree day in July! Global warming doesn’t exist!”

Uh, hi, I’d like to introduce you both to the Hasty Generalization logical fallacy.

I mean, it’s of course not about expressing any actual scientific knowledge, as those with actual scientific knowledge on this get drowned in partisan propaganda, and many scientific studies even then get performed often by or at least funded by those who want a particular result. No, the entire point is to be a pompous ass to the other side, all like “see? I was right about global warming and you were wrong!” Who cares if the “info” you’re basing this on is even remotely sound when it can be made to fit your gloating needs at a given moment, right?

So, really, STFU both of you. If you think one unseasonably warm or cool day or week or even season totally validates your insistance that global warming is a real threat or just something Al Gore made up, then you don’t have any damn clue what you’re talking about on this issue.

And, just saying… regardless of the truth of global warming… it’s hardly the only reason to be worrying about air pollution.