The Humiliated Teen

January 10, 2008

First, have a look at this news story.

It was early last month when Jane Hambleton of Fort Dodge found the bottle under the front seat of her 19-year-old son’s pride and joy.

Her next move was a call to The Des Moines Register’s classified advertising department:

OLDS 1999 Intrigue

“Totally uncool parents who obviously don’t love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for 3 weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet.”

The son soon found himself on foot. And the meanest mom on the planet became the target of accolades from across Iowa and beyond.

Continue reading “The Humiliated Teen”

Oppressed Eye Candy

January 7, 2008

In the entry-a-day surge in December, and even in some earlier entries, I touched on this subject just barely, but today I was thinking about a few connections.

In this entry, if you don’t mind, I shall cry out “Pervert!” at a few people. Who? Well, they’re people very often called perverts. Specifically they are middle-aged to old men who find teenage girls, specifically those aged 14 to 17, to be sexually arousing.

Though it may have this same end result, I call them out for it for quite different reasons from others.
Continue reading “Oppressed Eye Candy”

The Pin Is Off

January 6, 2008

Sigh. Christmas is over. 🙁

Well, after tonight anyway. Epiphany has come, the Three Wise Men have given their gifts, and now the celebration has come to a close. Well, not in our house, since we decided to leave the decorations up until Grandma gets back from the hospital. Yeah, she’s back in the hospital. It might be a while. Might still be Christmas around here past Easter, heh. Well, I hope not. We want her out sooner.

But for the most part anyway, time to take down decorations. Take those lights off my window. Already took down the garland and little red tree that I had up at work. That made me sad. Now my desk area is all bland and non-festive. Sigh. 🙁

And, of course, take down my little lights right here under my posts.

Until November 27, 2008.

Regarding a Dick and a Dropping Ball

January 2, 2008

Now for a gravelly voiced, new year edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Will people quit complaining about Dick Clark still appearing on the New Year’s Rockin’ Eve thing? I’ve heard several different people who keep whining that “oh no, why are they making him still do it when he’s had that stroke and he’s all messed up?”

You know, it’s not like he was having a stroke WHILE he was on the air. He had the stroke several years ago, and it has since affected his speech. So his voice is gravelly now. So what? If the man wants to keep doing the show he’s done forever, let him. Does his speech insult you somehow? That’s your own problem. The man had a stroke and is still finding a way to get on the show and speak, even if not like before, even if for only a little bit.

Disabilities bother you? Tough! You remind me of the idiots in the Timmy 2000 episode of South Park, where everyone thought Timmy the handicapped kid should be kept out of sight and protected because everyone would just laugh at him. Screw that. Same with this. Everyone thinks they’re being some caring protector by thinking Dick Clark should stop trying to do the show, when really it’s just the messed up speech bothering them. Well, get over it. People have strokes or other medical issues, and sometimes speech gets affected and they don’t talk as well as before. It’s part of life and, frankly, it’s pretty damn great the New Year’s Eve show is still using him in spite of it. So quit your blubbering, assjob.

Auld Lame Syne

January 1, 2008

First off, Happy 2008!

Anyway, being New Year’s Day, I’ve been thinking of the sheer stupidity circulating around eight years ago. When we went from 1999 to 2000. Everyone all like “ZOMG! New millennium! The world is going to end!”

I was seriously ashamed to be even affiliated with the human race back then.

First of all, that wasn’t the new millennium. We went into this millennium the following year, going into 2001. Going into 2000 was just a drastic change in the numbers, which, yeah, is an unusual occurrence.

Then there was the “scare” over the so-called Y2K bug. I might also mention that “Y2K” is among the stupidest terms I’ve ever heard in my life. You don’t sound cool. You sound like a douchebag.

Oh, no, all the computers will melt and bombs will go off after midnight on December 31, 1999! Sure enough, not a damn thing happened.

What are we left with now? Having to be reminded of this ridiculousness whenever we watch reruns of our favorite shows. The Simpsons’ 10th Treehouse of Horror, the third segment was about this crap. Family Guy had one. Drew Carey show had one where they were preparing a bomb shelter. King of the Hill had one. Did these show writers stop to think that in a few years, this would all be physically painful to watch? Even back then, with these shows airing new, and all the stupid commercials alluding to the “end of the world”. That life as we know it will change once the clock strikes midnight and it is January 1, 2000.

Even though it would be cool, it’s times like this I hope I don’t live to be 117, since I’d have to see this stupid shit again when we cross into 2100.

Squeeeeeeeeee

December 30, 2007

Final score.

Dallas 6
Washington 27

Mmmm… good.

Soooo good.

In fact, let’s look at that one again.

Dallas 6
Washington 27

Oh, man. That is just soooo sweet. Such a beautiful sight.

They think they’re so great. Then they come to us for the final game of the regular season.

Let’s look at it once more.

Dallas 6
Washington 27

I’ll never get sick of that. Mmmm… yeah.

Anyone Said No?

December 29, 2007

So I was looking at one of the little political polls they have on Facebook these days, asking various questions about what people’s stances are on issues. One of them I saw was “Can a woman President be as effective as a man?”

While significantly lower than those who said Yes, there were quite a lot who said no! Perhaps one out of every seven respondents said no.

You mean people like that actually still exist? I mean, I can understand people saying no specifically because they don’t like Clinton, but that wasn’t the question. It was just in general, if there were anything inherent about all women that made them unfit for presidency, some way that isn’t an issue for men.

President must have a penis? Something about that determines how the commander in chief handles foreign policy and other important matters? Something about having a vagina hinders this?

I don’t get the logic. Feminism has come a long ass way, but there is so much more that must be changed still. Can’t people just learn already? It is exhausting giving the human race any credit and being so continually disappointed.

Terrible Two

December 28, 2007

Another year has gone by. Today, on this 4th Day of Christmas, the Fortress is two years old!

This is the 257th entry in Sure, Why Not?, by a wide margin the most often updated section (and what many believe to be the only thing on this site). The other sections I update whenever I feel like it. So they aren’t a whole lot different from poor, all-but-forgotten Science Village. Oh, well.

Time for a third year! Yay Fortress!

Don’t Make Me Over

December 27, 2007

And now, for a cosmetic, beautifying edition of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

We’ve all seen it. In The Breakfast Club, it was the Ally Sheedy character being remedied by Molly Ringwald. Countless Disney movies have done essentially the same. It’s the desperate need in more movies than I care to count, for fear of vomiting, to make the plain girl a pretty girl, for that is the only way she can be happy or desirable.
Continue reading “Don’t Make Me Over”

Joyeux Noel

December 25, 2007

Another Christmas has come upon us! Joy to the world!

I tell you, was a gorgeous Christmas Day here. Sunny and clear and quiet outside. Better than last year when it was raining. Made me think of the Emerson, Lake, and Palmer song “I Believe in Father Christmas”. First line goes: You said there’d be snow at Christmas, you said there’d be peace on earth, but instead it just kept on raining, a veil of tears for the virgin birth.

But, yeah, that was last year. This year, was a nice day. True, snow would have been way better, but not a bad day still.

Just one little issue. Grandma got sick about five days ago and hasn’t been well since. And after this morning she fell down after getting out of bed, and was too weak to pick herself back up and was on the floor for THREE HOURS, something was really wrong. Don’t know yet. Also been running a fever.

Could be something. Could be nothing. This afternoon, my dad and aunt and the rest of us decided it was time she went to the hospital. Dad, aunt, sister, and cousins took grandma to the hospital, and I stayed home to keep track of things here, plus I’m the only one who has work tomorrow and can’t do the late night if it came to that.

Interesting thing, though. I still feel like this was a good Christmas. If you’d told me before that we’d have something like this happen on Christmas Day, I’d shudder at the thought, feel like that would ruin it for sure. But it doesn’t feel ruined. Nor do I feel like this happening today made this any worse in particular. Magic of Christmas right there, I guess. Christmas still came all the same despite some adversity. I feel like a Who!

And, like the last two years, here’s my Christmas videos!

UN: xmas
PW: tree

Yeah, I know, it’s the same as last year even though I had said it was temporary. Whatever.