I hereby decree…
MOAR FIVE ALIVE IN TEH USA, PLZ THX!!!
Um, wow. Chatspeak attack. Let’s try that one again.
Five Alive should be sold more in the USA!
What’s Five Alive? It’s a kind of juice, under the Coca-Cola umbrella. It’s delicious. It used to be around a lot in the United States back when I was little. In concentrate form, anyway. I liked it. Then didn’t have it any more for a while. Stopped selling it I guess.
Continue reading “Feel Alive”
And now, for an overhyped, scandalous edition of…
YOU SUCK!!!!
This time? It’s these people who actually follow celebrity news. People who actually care what’s going on in celebrity lives. They read every magazine about the sordid affairs, watch every gossip show, and chat about it with their vacuous friends as if Angelina Jolie looking pregnant had any relevance to the world.
Continue reading “Celebrity News”
Did you hear he got in trouble for DUI and probation violation and all that crap?
Oh, this is sweet.
I hate that guy.
A few years ago, I saw him on Letterman, and he was discussing his 16-year-old stepdaughter and how she was learning to drive. His comment? “Sixteen-year-olds just should not be driving. Not just her. All of them.”
To which he received rounding applause.
Sure, he can pretend to be some kind of voice of reason for driving when talking about 16-year-olds and acting like they’re all incompetent just because of their age, but where is all this when it comes to his own driving habits? He thinks a 16-year-old should not drive because she is too dumb to think correctly about it just because of her age, yet he’s the idiot who drives while drunk?!
So nice to see this really. He makes a stupid ageist comment on late night TV, only for his actions to prove he’s a hypocritical moron.
Basically, Kiefer, you’re a dick. You’ve got no place pointing any fingers at those younger than you while getting behind the wheel after consuming alcohol. I hope they throw the book at you and ruin your career over it.
This article is a little old now, but still worth discussing.
Muvico Makes Adults Only Theater
Can you believe that? For those who didn’t feel like reading it, or were suffering too much from a rapidly melting brain which tends to happen when exposed to such high levels of astounding idiocy, basically the Muvico movie theater company is planning to set aside one screen in their facilities for just people 21 and over.
Continue reading “Muvico’s Modern Segregation”
So today at work, I was bored and, thinking about that video I posted about the other day, felt like seeing what Wikipedia had to say about Minesweeper. Pretty interesting tidbits about the different versions. I had played the Linux Gnomes version last year when I was in California, since Chris Howell’s computer operated on Linux.
Anyway, then I came to the thing that blew my mind. The cheats section. Normally, I disapprove of cheats. But I was still curious. I’d seen one before that isn’t really a cheat since it doesn’t always work, but works most of the time from what I could tell. When you’re playing Minesweeper and you’re down to where you have to guess between two adjacent squares, try to click the exact middle between them, and it’ll be the number. Doesn’t always work, and might just be a myth, but something.
Continue reading “There’s a Mine Detector!”
OMFG!!! WIN!!!! Watch this. NOW!!! :doitnow:
“That clock is going to keep ticking until it reaches 999!”
“What happens then?”
“Nothing! You just suck!”
I was on my way back from upstate New York earlier today and was riding through Harrisburg, PA. There I saw a big ass billboard. I was eating my lunch at the time, but seeing this made me lose my appetite quickly.
Report Underage Drinking!
1-800-UNDER-21
What?! Oh, yeah, I’m just going to rush right out and get some innocent 19 and 20-year-olds in trouble with the law because I feel like being a self-righteous cretin and utilizing a law created because a bunch of irrational mothers in the 1980’s sobbed in front of Congress enough about their dead children so now everyone 18-20, legal adults mind you, would be considered criminals for partaking in an activity that would be perfectly okay if they were only a couple years older.
Continue reading “Underage Drinking”
I had a thought. You know how in like elementary school, the kids are taught about good dental hygiene? Brush and floss twice a day like good little boys and girls, or else some cavity monsters will eat your teeth, and you’ll have no teeth anymore. And remember to go see your happy little dentist twice a year!
Eh, interesting curriculum. I have a better idea. Try this.
Kids, brush and floss regularly. Why? Because toothpaste and floss are relatively cheap. And if you don’t, you will get cavities and gingivitis, which requires special and very expensive dental checkups. Your parents may or may not have dental coverage on their health plan, if they even have a health plan at all. So when you’re in excruciating pain from cavities and you need to have the dentist fill it or yank the tooth, which will be more physical hardship for you, mommy and daddy will have to shell out thousands of dollars to even have it done, which will result in them going into serious debt, you will get nothing for Christmas or your birthday for the next five years, they won’t be able to make the mortgage or rent payments, so you’ll all have to move in with grandma and live in the same cramped room. Or even if you don’t need any serious dental work now, the bad dental habits now will cause lots of problems later when you’re an adult, and your mouth is in agonizing pain and you need a root canal, but you have no dental coverage and you can’t afford the procedure, so you’ll either go without it and be in misery for a long time while your teeth deteriorate more, making you need an even more expensive procedure, or you have it done immediately, but even then the cost is too much, making you unable to afford food or gasoline for the next year. You’ll then have to move back in with your parents, only to have them ride your ass for having not listened to them when you were a kid about proper dental hygiene.
So, yeah, clean your fucking teeth, kids!
This has been Day 90 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 7. 
And now, for an automotive, shiny blue Korean version of…
Here’s To You!!!
So I raise my glass and say, “Here’s to you, my wonderful awesome car!”
*looks back through entries*
Oh, goodness, what an oversight on my part! I’ve gone six months without ever once mentioning on here that an amazing thing has happened. I have a car! Seems weird saying now as if that’s new. I got it back on February 26. Been nearly six months. Oh, what an insane day that was, too. Surprising I never wrote about it here.
Continue reading “Over Three Thousand Miles”
So I was at work today and needed to scan like two hundred pages of some annoying document. Looking like an all-day job. Would have to scan each page individually.
So I went to the copier, with its paper feeder thing on top of it, and smacked it and said “You’re a scanner now, bitch!”
It replied, “Yes, ma’am! I am a scanner!”
So I used it to scan all those pages.
Win.
This has been Day 78 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 7.