Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s time for a special Sure, Why Not? session of….
Today’s recipient of this message of suckiness are people who have, create, or are somehow or another involved in those tiny blogs you see sometimes. Blogs in general have a wide, vast range of stupid shit worth bitching about, and I kind of hate to kick off the Fortress’s YOU SUCK sessions with something so common, but I don’t really care right now. Anyway, on with it.
What am I talking about, you ask? There are some super skinny blogs out there that would look microscopic even on a fucking 640 by 480 screen resolution. First, there’s the ones that are sandwiched inside two other columns: usually one has the calendar and archives links and the other has exterior links or pictures or crap like that. Either way. Some are even so ridiculous as to have FOUR columns! Are they trying to spare their readers the horrible daunting task of scrolling down a bit to see all of their sidebar shit? Ah, no, I don’t believe so, since they’d have to scroll down to read their stupid blog entries that are only seven characters wide once all is said and done with the column arrangements.
But, okay, I can sort of understand just wanting to be able to cram more shit into your sidebars at the expense of the blog itself, even if that increasingly diminutive blog is supposed to be the whole reason for the page to begin with. Couldn’t you just slap together some HTML on a plain old webpage? Dumbasses.
However, then you get these that the blog is scrunched into a slender column in the very middle of the screen, for the other 90 percent of the webpage space to contain… absolutely nothing! I’m serious. Itty bitty space for the actual blog itself, and then about several hundred pixels on each side of just empty background color.
What the hell is that? I mean, I’m at a loss for words. When there’s usually a decent variety of blog styles out there, some cretin thinks “Wow, I think I’ll take this really, really fucking skinny one. That’s cool.” Yes, real cool. In fact, I feel like I’m reading a novel! I just love how I have to scroll down six times to read all of one sentence. Don’t you much prefer reading a journal entry on a bookmark rather than, you know, a nice full page? Dumbass.
So, in conclusion, your skinny ass blogs suck and you should feel very, very bad about it.