Olympic Parade

You know, I might say the Olympics fascinate me, but, really, I just like to watch the parade of nations and to see whatever dumb gimmick they’re doing to get that torch lit.

They’re in Torino, so everything is announced in English, French, and Italian. Since the three languages are so similar, the nation parade is kind of annoying in that hearing the three different names for the countries is for the most part just hearing the same name three times. Canada is “Canada” in all three languages, okay? Hehehe.

Some interesting stuff.

How the hell does Algeria have a Winter Olympics team? It’s in the fucking Sahara. Oh, well, I wasn’t paying attention to what the athletes did, so fuck it. Costa Rica just marched, too. Somehow that one athlete is a cross country skier?

Denmark just walked. Hehe. Aren’t they glad Muslim countries are mostly too hot for Winter Olympics sports? Hehehe.

Ethiopia?! How the hell are they in this? One athlete. Cross country skiing. What, are these people practicing on sand? Hmm. They said something about how the one athlete starting skiing when he went to the University of New Hampshire. Pfft. Cheater. New Hampshire is ours, bitch!

North and South Korea were together. How cute. Isn’t it nice how people like to act like a tense problem isn’t really there? Heh. Yeah, I’ll believe it when Kim Jong-Il dies.

Apparently, Paris was supposed to get some future games, but London stole it. Hehehe. Fight on, England and France. Fight on.

Damn, so many mentions of 15-year-olds who are excellent athletes yet couldn’t compete because they’re not 16 yet. Ugh. Doesn’t that maybe suggest something to you ageist idiots? Come on. You’ll think of it eventually.

Hmm. Hong Kong got some skaters in. Well, good, they practiced in northern China. Glad China could lend it to them, seeing as they’ve got them all occupied. Apparently, they did the same for India.

Iran?! Shit, Denmark is fucked now.

Now a Kenyan cross country skier. You know? If these hot countries get the opportunity to play a winter sport, why the hell would they pick boring old cross country skiing? Cross country skiing SUCKS!

One athlete from the Virgin Islands, some 50-something-year-old woman doing the luge. Shit, if I were in the Virgin Islands, I could do the luge, too. You know, I’m starting to want to move to one of these smaller, tropical countries just so I can get into the Olympics. I can ski. I can speed skate, too. I could probably also bobsled, but who couldn’t?

Haha, Mexico isn’t in it! No luge. No cross country skier. Nothing! Shit, they at least have high mountains.

They mentioned the Salt Lake City games from four years ago, how they were “very successful”. Now how would they not be successful? Answer me that.

Hehe. Mongolians are wearing cool fuzzy hats!

Just called the Lillehammer, Norway, games successful, too. Shit, Nancy Kerrigan got attacked before that one. What do you folks call successful?

There’s been 80s music playing in the background. I don’t know. I think it’s cool.*shrug*

Russians! Eek! Think they’re better than us? Ha! We’ll see.

There’s all these athletic type ads playing. It’s getting annoying, really.

Ceremony is nowhere near over and I’m already getting really fucking sick of the Olympic theme.

Ah, San Marino. I only know it even exists because it’s a destination in Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?

Senegal with one athlete. Another skier. Oh! Alpine skier. There’s a change.

There we are! USA! USA! USA!

Oh, look, there’s the chick from that Visa Check Card ad.

Turkey! Mmm… how much longer until Thanksgiving? Hehe. Neighbors across the street are Turkish. Cool people. Made sure not to mention I’m an eighth Greek.:scared: But yeah, I saw a map in their house, a map of Turkey that was in Turkish. There’s a town in southeast Turkey called Batman!

Hehe, damn Magyars. I wonder if any of them look like Alex. *looks* Nah, not really.

The USA rocks so much we lend athletes to other countries!

And, host nation, Italia!!! Look at that ovation.

Ah, here comes the flame. Funny how fucking fire gets so much security, hehehe.

Flag waving… BORING!!! Don’t care about Italian traditions. Yawn. Birth of Venus. Also boring! Oh, my God, they’re just killing time waiting for that fucking torch.

Some guy with accent is announcing something about the Olympics. He said the first part in Italian and is now speaking English. Now he’s speaking Italian again. Heh.

Okay, Susan Sarandon and others are bringing in the Olympic flag. Whatever. On with it! Don’t give a crap about their distinct backgrounds. On with it!

Goodie. Let’s sing the Olympic anthem now. Ugh. Maybe I’ll just take a nap instead.

Oh, how cute. All these acrobats dressed in white are crawling around on some big spider web to eventual form a peace dove.:roll:

Oh, great. Yoko Ono saying stuff. I think. Or she’s just babbling. Can’t tell. Peter Gabriel’s singing Imagine. Sort of. More like speaking it. Meh.

Ah, here’s comes the torch! Finally! A few Italian folks carried the torch, finally to some allegedly important chick, who set fire to something with the torch, and some badass pyrotechnics and accelerants ran the fucking thing clear up to the cauldron. Didn’t look so much like a cauldron. More like an artificial bundle of very large sticks. Meh.

Final surprise? This had better be good.:doitnow:

Pavarotti. Meh. Okay.

Yeah, this thing is over. So what. Good. Olympics are over. See you in 2008. Beijing, I believe.

Meh, I rarely watch the events. But, well, of course…. Go USA!!!!