Tanner Upstaged

August 13, 2012

Now for a feminine pubescent edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Anyone who says anything along the lines of “Girls today are starting puberty at younger ages!” And goes on to treat it like some utter catastrophe. A serious problem for today’s kids. Something we must absolutely do something about to protect little girl innocence! Eeeek!

*facepalm* *sigh*

Oh, concern trolling, such a frequent opponent to youth rights feminism!

Okay, time for some unpacking of bullshit.

1. Not only is the claim that the age of female puberty is steadily getting younger questionable, but those shrieking about this “problem” often either don’t specify ages or the ages they do specify, usually around 10 or 11, are still within the normal range of puberty (ages 8 to 16). And even so, they’re usually talking about onset, which is the development of breasts (which doesn’t exactly happen overnight), as opposed to first period, which is often a couple years later. Breasts budding at 10 or 11 means the period shows up around 12 or 13, which is totally fucking normal! And even the ones who get their periods at 10 or 11 might be earlier than average but it’s not abnormal, and for every one of them, there are girls who start it at 14 or 15.
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Smooth Jazz Bicycle Guy

July 11, 2012

So I was walking around a nearby lake earlier, eating my traditional Day 49 Dairy Queen “Brownie Earthquake”. Tradition because I happened to eat that same treat from that same Dairy Queen 11 years ago today, during the original 100 Days of Summer. So now on Day 49 I go to Dairy Queen. Haven’t done it every year but I try to. I also listen to John Lennon’s “Imagine”. Because I think it was playing on the radio when I visited that Dairy Queen on July 11, 2001. Really no deeper reason for the tradition than that.

Anyway! Where was I? Ah, yes, I was walking around the lake. It’s a nice day, so lots of people were out walking their dogs and riding their bikes. When I parked my car and started the walk, I began to hear some inexplicable music coming from somewhere, and the sound got closer. Then some middle aged guy on a bike appeared, and attached to his bike was a little music player and speaker, playing some kind of instrumental smooth jazz. He whooshed on by and the sound faded. A few minutes later, as my walk progressed, he passed by me again, as he was circling the lake the opposite direction as I was. And a few minutes after that, I hear the music again and there he was again. This happened a total of six times before I was all the way around and back to my car.

I got into my car and drove away, when I came to a realization… that everything that just happened was like something straight out of a… math problem!

The walk around the lake takes me about 20 minutes. I passed Smooth Jazz Bicycle Guy six times, so the interim time was about 3 to 4 minutes.

Well, that’s the only data I have. Unless I bothered to look at the total distance of the path around the lake, which, going by the little markers drawn on the path here and there, is probably about a mile. But if I had more data, think of all I could calculate! My walking speed, though I suppose if 20 minutes to walk a mile, it was 3 miles an hour. Then there’d be SJBG’s biking speed, taking into account the distance he biked each time he passed me was slightly shorter than the total distance around the lake. That distance is one mile, so I’d have traveled one-sixth of a mile in the interim, so he traveled five-sixths of a mile in about 3.3 minutes, so his speed would be about 15 miles an hour.

Math is fun!

Oh, but there are other things to calculate! If I had the data. The volume of the smooth jazz, taking into account my aural sensitivity and from what distance I could still hear it. At one point, someone in a nearby backyard was running a chain saw, and during this was one of the times SJBG passed by, so I didn’t hear the music that far ahead of his appearing. So considering the previous theoretical data, one could calculate the volume of the chain saw. Or how far away it was. Or maybe only one of those if the other is known. Then might have to account for the trees in between and maybe air pressure.

It’s not just a math problem. It’s a PHYSICS PROBLEM!!!!

…

Aww, fuck it. It was a nice walk on a nice day, passing by some weird man on a bike blaring smooth jazz.

This has been Day 49 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 12.

Making Sure They Behave

June 28, 2012

Ever notice that the most common thing anyone tells a child is “behave!”? Is he/she behaving? Are they being good? Are they doing as they are told?

Because that’s the single most important thing ever regarding children, of course! 🙄

The trouble there is the expectation that this person is going to descend into “insufferable little bastard” mode at any moment.

It goes beyond that, of course. The other day I saw this article in the Guardian about cops stationed in school, and how this – surprise, surprise! – leads to students being arrested for the tiniest offenses, such as putting on perfume or not picking something up off the floor fast enough. They’re stationed there over constant concerns that, even if unlikely, some student might shoot someone, and you just can’t be too careful!

So the cops are a good thing, right? They just need to exercise better discretion and not arrest students for drawing on a desk or other stupid shit like that?

Yeah… I don’t think so.
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Protect the Squeamish Ageist Adults!

June 21, 2012

Nothing like sitting through an R-rated movie being played on basic cable, with half the dialogue either changed or silenced because of “offensive language”. When I think about it, it’s really offensive to me that it’s censored at all. How stupid do you think I am, that I can’t handle the word fuck? That you need to protect my gentle ears from hearing it.

Oh, what’s that? I’m 29 so I’m not one of the people being protected by this? Well, I must be, because it’s still censored. I’d have to either watch this movie on a premium movie channel (which I don’t get) or rent or buy it. Hmm. Maybe it’s a marketing move in that way. Even though I have no real interest in buying the movie anyway.

Ah, but the official reason is that the censorship is to “protect the children” from hearing these naughty words.

First of all, as I say frequently, so what if they hear (or say) these words?

Second of all, it’s interesting what words are and aren’t okay. Watch Forrest Gump on TNT. They have to blur out the “Shit Happens” bumper sticker, yet in a few scenes the N-word is said and is visibly written in the background, totally uncensored. An almost meaningless word for feces is unacceptable, yet they greenlight a racial slur? Um, racial slurs are the ACTUAL bad offensive words! Should they be censored? No. But if censoring offensive things is the idea, you’d think that’d be the first thing!

Third of all, my 8-year-old brother and I were watching Family Guy recently, and there was one line where a word was bleeped. He promptly turned to me and said “I know what he said! He said fuck!” Yeah, even the people you’re hiding the words from totally know what words go there. So… fail.

And… how many children do you know who have been contacting the FCC complaining that something on the TV was too mature for their fragile little minds? Oh, there are children who buy into the “bad words are bad for kids” thing. Hell, I grudgingly admit that when I was 11 I was sort of one of them. The reason wasn’t that I actually believed that, though. I only held the idea because I knew such a belief was pleasing to the adults around me. It was prior to my realization that my age kept the adults from respecting me no matter what I did, that beliefs like this just made them happy I was being their lap dog. And so many kids buy into that at their peers’ expense. But that’s what it comes down to. The desire to please adults is why some kids are against “swear words”, not that they have some personal conviction (well, some might).

No, the people who scream back and forth over appropriateness of media content is entirely adults. It is the supposedly mature adults who can’t handle the idea of kids hearing someone say “bullshit” or seeing an accidental half-time show nipple slip. You know who can handle it just fine? The kids themselves!

Seriously, that nipple thing. Everybody has nipples! Half of them have the dreaded baby-feeding female nipples! They need only look down to see nipples. Children are only a few years past being the ones feeding from those nipples, and I hope somebody told the little girls they’ll be growing those things before too long. Censoring body parts? Do these complaining people not shower, because they might realize they have these evil parts? And the ones who are parents, how did that happen, as that happens through having sex which involves – gasp! – being naked!

Conveniently, it seems it’s only adult nudity they’re (usually) all that pissy about. Interesting.

Let’s be honest. There is no censorship that protects children. It only protects adults. Or, no, not really. It protects no one.

And the “protect the children” thing is just an excuse anyway. They only say that because “hide words and things that make squeamish adults cry” sounds less noble. Maybe we should stick to calling it what it is.

In other news, a Michigan legislator just recently got in trouble for saying “vagina” on the House floor. And people think teens aren’t mature enough to vote?!

This has been Day 29 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 12.

Because You Think It’s True

May 31, 2012

I hereby decree…

Comedians are not philosophers!

Jokes have nothing to teach you. Hey, I love jokes! Don’t misunderstand. But they provide you no new wisdom. If they did, they wouldn’t work.

For example, consider this classic: “Horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks ‘Why the long face?'”

See, if you weren’t aware of the shape of a horse’s head, you wouldn’t get that joke. If you weren’t aware of the idiom “long face” to mean sad or depressed, you wouldn’t get that joke. The joke only works if you’re aware of these things, and the entire point is to elicit a chuckle at the clever word play.

Comedians are people whose jobs are to tell jokes. A stand-up show is like an hour of jokes flowing into each other. Therefore, they have nothing to teach you, because if they were to provide you with new information, you wouldn’t understand any of it and therefore wouldn’t get the jokes and would not be amused. So they say things based on what they assume you already know or believe.
Continue reading “Because You Think It’s True”

What You Want

April 23, 2012

Now for an ageist, condescending edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Anyone who says either “you’re too young to know what you want yet” or “you’re too young to know who you are yet”. Seriously, you just really really need to be shot.

Who the hell are you to say that to anyone? Okay, even if said person-younger-and-therefore-stupider-than-you does in fact not know what he/she wants or whatever, whatever the hell that even means, you know who knows this even less than they do? YOU, dumbass!

It’s a typical silencing and invalidation technique towards young people, an excuse to belittle absolutely any life choices they make by convincing them they are incapable of making sound choices and as such they’ll definitely regret it in like a week. I mean, it’s a terrific way to instill life-halting insecurities and uncertainties into people, making them feel they are never “ready” to do anything, but hey, at least they aren’t making personal decisions that, even though such decisions don’t involve you in any way, make you personally uncomfortable because you just have to pry into their lives, right?
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Mainstream

April 19, 2012

I make a point occasionally to read back through not only my own writings on youth rights, but those of others, even ones that are years old now. The study and recollections are needed sometimes to feed the ever-present thoughts and considerations of the issue.

A little while ago, I reread Alex Koroknay-Palicz’s “The delay between the inarguable and the acted-upon”, about a professor who seemed to agree with all the reasoning behind lowering the voting age yet wouldn’t explicitly come out and say he believed the voting age should be lowered. Why? Because it felt like such a fringe view to take, and nobody wants to be the lone supporter of a fringe issue.

In other words, something we youth rights people hear all too often!

Alex goes on to suggest the solution is to have more high-profile people voicing support for our issues and organization, as well as making what positive changes for youth rights we can already. I agree with the second part wholeheartedly, since making real changes to ageist policies is a pretty clear “yes, we’re serious about this, and, yes, this is in fact realistic” sign.
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What It Means to Me

April 15, 2012

Yesterday was the third annual National Youth Rights Day. A few days ago, I tasked some of my fellow NYRAnians with sharing, in whatever way, why they supported youth rights. Perhaps a little hypocritical on my part, as I not only didn’t share my own but wasn’t even sure how to answer my own question for myself!

But then I realized. Yes, I do!

Youth rights has been such a major part of my life over the past several years that it’s hard to even pinpoint any single sources of inspiration anymore. And even before I found NYRA, there were many little things here and there, the recognition that people thought little of me during my teen years and before, and, of course, my 8th grade English teacher saying “There’s no such thing as a typical teenager.”

But there is an underlying motivation, and it’s a simple one.

In short… I know this is right.

And I know it works.

I’ve met youth who were raised in whatever way in less oppressive conditions than average. In 2006, Alex and I were tabling at a conference and next to us was a table for Albany Free School, and with an adult or two from the school was a group of ten-year-old students from there. These kids? They were actually pretty mature and socially competent. They saw our NYRA table and were happy that we existed and related their frustrations at an Albany mall that had a youth curfew (Fuck you, Crossgates!) and they bought a bunch of our buttons. I don’t remember many more details than that about them, but I recall being pleasantly amazed at these ten-year-olds, the product of a non-oppressive school and probably non-oppressive families (if they had parents cool enough to send them to the non-oppressive school). It was nice to be reminded all the info flyers in front of me on my own NYRA table weren’t just spouting nice-sounding ideas that had little basis in reality, but were encouraging real changes to the way young people are thought of and treated, encouraging freedom and respect, and here were comfortable, competent, dignified kids at the table beside us, having grown up with that respect, as living proof of it.

Unschoolers, too! Whether it’s that teen rebellion isn’t necessarily a thing or just the continual accounts of unschooling families of the quality of life of unschooled youth as compared to traditional school students (yeah, I know there’s a “consider the source” factor here), the comparison between the unschooled youth who are generally more included and their choices respected as opposed to the voiceless traditional students who are coerced and dictated to at every turn.
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As If You’ll Die Tomorrow

April 10, 2012

I tweeted the following yesterday:

If I thought I’d die tomorrow, I’d be paralyzed with panic and terror. Stop telling me to live that way!

Yeah, we’ve all heard the popular saying “live as if you’ll die tomorrow”. The idea is that you’re supposed to live your life to the fullest because it’s precious and for all you know, you really could die tomorrow!

Just one problem. Think of any time in your past when something suddenly went wrong, like maybe you lost control of your car or almost fell off a high place or something like that, where, however briefly, you really did think you were going to die. You survived this, of course, as I find it unlikely any of my readers are ghosts. When death is imminent, you’re in a state of irrational mind-zapping horror and hopelessness. You’re not thinking “you know, I should totally go scuba diving!”

Paired with this is the saying “learn as if you’ll live forever”. This, too, is faulty.

In fact, maybe it should be the other way around. Maybe the whole quote should be “Live as if you’ll live forever. Learn as if you’ll die tomorrow.”

Why? Well, for one, telling people to live with the idea of death being just around the corner is just cruel. That’s not a motivator. That’s the equivalent of “give up all hope”. It also implies that it’s wrong to sit still or be idle for too long, that if you “waste” any time, then oh noes, you’re wasting your life that could be totally gone in the next 24 hours!

Oh, but along with this requirement that you must soak up so much life in every second comes having to learn as much as you can. So you must do lots and lots of stuff because you’ll totally die tomorrow, but be sure to, say, learn to speak Croatian because you never know!

If I’m going to die tomorrow, why the hell do I need to speak Croatian?!

No, if my death is imminent, any learning I’d be interested in doing, provided I could drag myself out of hopeless misery and depression, would be along the lines of saving my life!

Or maybe the afterlife requires one to speak Croatian? Such a small percentage of the world’s population can speak it. English, Chinese, Spanish, French, and Arabic speakers all make up such a huge chunk, yet I suppose without the Croatian for some reason, we’re all screwed. Because, hell, if religion says we need to satisfy some vague requirement of “good” for a favorable afterlife, who knows what other crazy rules there might be? Zagreb might be a holy city!

In fact, I’m not aware of much concern over not “living life to the fullest” as far as the afterlife goes. Once you’re dead, how much will you really care about what you did or didn’t do while you were alive? The only ones who care about this are those who are still alive and most likely can still do some cool stuff. You know which living people wouldn’t bother? The ones who are about to die! Because by then, what’s the point?

So, yeah, live like you’ll live forever, like you’ll always come back, like you’ll have more chances. Would you rather live life rushing around trying to see and do as much as possible because the clock is about to run out, or live it at a comfortable pace, where you’ll still see and enjoy plenty anyway because you aren’t stressed the fuck out?

As for learning, yeah, for that one, learn like you’ll die tomorrow. Or no, that’s not quite right. Learn as though you might die tomorrow or sometime soon. If tomorrow’s death is a sure thing, not much point, but if it’s merely a possibility, learn so you can avoid it! Like maybe what to do in a life threatening situation or safety tips or whatever else. You know, so you can live forever for all that living you want to do! Problem solved!

Just the Bullying We Care About

March 29, 2012

There’s a lot of attention toward school bullying these days. Specifically, it’s the bullying of students by other students. Oftentimes, even more specifically, the student-on-student bullying that is because one student is, or presumably is, homosexual.

These kids are definitely suffering. I’m not going to deny that. I was bullied and taunted constantly from grades six through nine (and it was one of the reasons I ended high school early). Yeah, when you have hair like mine, it’s inevitable! That and in 9th grade when I unwittingly admitted I didn’t know what “giving head” meant when someone used that term, the next several weeks consisted of that group of people asking me on a daily basis “do you give head?”

Here’s the interesting part. I can also think of times I was bullied (albeit differently) by teachers and other staff! In fact, I was more worried about that than anything my fellow students did because the students were not in a position of authority over me or my future. In high school particularly, the teachers were decidedly cold, uncaring, and dismissive. Though it didn’t stop them from being excruciatingly controlling and even willing to give you a lower grade simply because they did not like you.

I’ll bet the last two paragraphs would elicit different reactions from most people. The student bullying paragraph would be “OMG bullying is so horrible!!1!!” The one about teacher bullying? Nope, that would my own fault! The bit about the cold teachers would be (and was) treated with “So what? Welcome to high school! Get over it!” And them being controlling and spiteful? “Oh, that’s ridiculous! Teachers wouldn’t do that. You were probably just a bad student.” That’s even if you consider how little information I even gave about the incident, a verdict based entirely on one being a teacher (adult) and one being a student (teenager).
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