Say Your Prayers

December 15, 2012

Or not.

Because… why? What good would it do?

I’ve mentioned before that praying accomplishes nothing. God is going to do whatever. God ignores prayers all the time.

When a tragedy occurs, whether what happened yesterday or someone’s relative just got diagnosed with something nasty, you often get “please keep me/us/them in your thoughts and prayers!”

Or maybe someone should do something useful. I mean, is there perhaps some real tangible action someone could take? Bring you food? Send a card?

Wait, why did I say “send a card”? What good does that do someone who just found out they’ve got pancreatic cancer? Well, not much. But the difference between that and saying a prayer is a card involves actually informing the person in question of your well-wishes, which can sometimes improve their mood while going through this. It’s miniscule but more than a damn prayer.

A few years back, I visited my aunt who has been having lots of health problems. I mentioned that Grandma had had her name put into the Prayers for the People list at our church. And, holy crap, was she grateful and excited about that! But, again, what improved her mood was hearing about this. Had I not told her, it would have made no difference whatsoever. The prayers alone had no power.

And then, around this time of year in particular, you often hear “Pray for Peace!”

Now this one is interesting, because, in a way, it can work. If you’re getting people to pray for peace, then they aren’t fighting at that moment! Well, either that, or stopping to pray allows for the enemy to finish them off. Or maybe they can pray and fight at the same time. Multitasking!

Response

December 14, 2012

Oh, no. Seems there was a school shooting in Connecticut this morning. An elementary school shooting. 🙁

Just so fucking senseless. Something like 18 children are dead as of this writing. Little kids. What the hell could they have ever done to anybody?!

*bunch of people start talking*

Wait. What’s going on here?

“A shooting!” one squeals. “I’ll tell you what this means. It’s time we banned guns!”

Um, alright. I suppose.

“No!” squeals another. “This means we need MORE guns. If the teachers had guns on them, this wouldn’t have happened.”

Uh… huh? What is all this?

“How old was the assailant?” screams another. “Was he a student? A teenager perhaps? I tell you, this is a sign of just how rotten today’s kids are!”

Actually I hear the shooter was 24.

“I’ll tell you why this happened,” comes another voice. “It’s the schools. Public schools are awful places for children. This is why kids need to be pulled out of there.”

Wait, what? What the fuck does that have to do with anything?

“If these kids were unschooled, this would not have happened!”

Home with parents is significantly more dangerous statistically than being at school. Also, fuck you. You’re victim blaming.

“It’s all because our society treats the mentally ill so terribly!” says another. “If this man had had the care he needed, this would not have happened.”

Um, yes, mentally handicapped should be treated well and have access to care. No argument there. It’s just rather offensive toward those with mental disabilities to imply they’re always on the verge of severe violence as this.

“We’re in such a violent society!” screams still another. “With all the violent TV and video games! I’m sure that’s what messed this guy up.”

Or is it that YOU hate violent TV and video games and just feel like acting like something you just happen to hate was responsible here?

“This all happened because people need a healthy dose of JESUS!” declares another. “If everyone would just remember the LORD, this would never happen.”

I’m not even going to dignify that with a response.

…

God forbid we blame the shooter. 🙄

No, instead let’s just use this as proof positive for whatever personal cause of ours and hope that people will finally “get it”. Just like they finally “got it” after Columbine. And 9/11. And the Amish school shooting. And the Dark Knight movie shooting. But maybe THIS time! You can always hope!

Take Action

December 13, 2012

We have to take action!

When there is some horrible injustice, there’s no shortage of people tweeting about it saying things like “maybe this will finally spur people into action!”

Alright, alright, I’m good and angry! So… what action exactly am I supposed to take now?

Hmmm. Seems they usually haven’t thought that far.

Or they have, and the “correct” action is to give a certain entity money or to vote for a particular candidate or party. Because that will solve everything. Somehow.

Which makes all the talk of activism, rebellion, or bettering the world out to just be an advertising scheme.

Of course, a lot of social problems really don’t have anything close to clear solutions. Or at least no solutions that the average person would really be able to take part in, because they don’t have the authority, the means, or the technical knowledge. In which case it sometimes is the right thing to do to just support those who do know what they are doing, or at least make sure they are pointed in the right direction.

But in truth, taking action against some injustice or other social ill ends up not being as exciting or glamorous as is often believed. People envision big protests or other stunts, when really these should only be done under certain circumstances, and contrary to common assumption, these alone do not change anything, even if some exceptionally large ones are memorable. Taking action involves a lot of leg work, repetition, and dead ends. And strategy, lots of strategy. Taking action, even after a crapton of work over the course of years, tends to yield very slow results, depending on specifics.

But you’ve got people angry and wanting change RIGHT NOW. And these people have very different ideas as to how to create that change, and they only end up releasing that anger on each other, despite being on the same side, over tactics, leaving said social ill unaltered.

Believe me, I know. I’ve been guilty of every bit of this on several counts! 😛

Teaching Generosity

December 12, 2012

This morning on the radio, they were talking about a little boy who recently donated all his birthday presents to charity. Then his town was so impressed with his generosity that they threw him a big birthday party with a zillion more presents… all of which also went to charity.

It’s a lovely story of generosity, based on that little bit about it I heard.

But then the radio guy, awestruck by this kid, remarked, “That’s just amazing. How do you even teach this sort of thing?”

That’s when my brain got stuck for a moment (not the best time, as I was navigating rush hour traffic!), from all the things I found very wrong with that statement.

For one, the question itself implies that “teaching this sort of thing”, to this extent, is even desirable. Don’t get me wrong. They were this boy’s toys and thus his to do as he wished, and what he wished was for them to be donated. And it was certainly an extremely kind thing to do. But it’s such an extreme level of selflessness, and to teach it would be to imply that this is a general expectation, just good manners, as opposed to the above and beyond gesture it is.

Also, because you know I’m going to bring this up, again, he’s a child. His selflessness like this is seen as amazing and adorable, while, had he been twenty or thirty years older, people would have just thought he was crazy, perhaps even threatening. Why? Because when an adult your own age makes some sacrifice, you feel like you’re expected to do the same, and you just plain don’t want to. But it’s just fine for kids to do it, and they should be encouraged in a way adults wouldn’t be. Why? Because you don’t identify with them. Almost everything about their lives is trivial and expendable. It’s easy for an adult to believe a kid’s Nintendo DS is just some useless gadget they don’t really need, when they’d probably slice off their own legs before they’d give up their iPhone. So it’s not only seen as the easier sacrifice for children to give so much for charity, but it’s even seen as the “right” way to be.

And the question itself, of teaching generosity. Again, that implies it even needs to be specifically taught. That an adult who wants a child to be this extremely generous needs to preach it in some way. In fact, that’s bullshit. Generous kids generally have generous parents. There needs to be some strong example of this behavior going on already. Want kids to be generous or any other desirable trait? Be generous yourself. Be the good person you expect your kids to be, rather than preaching it to them while sitting back and clutching your own hedonism and avarice.

All this talk over how amazing this kid is, that he got it right, that all kids should be taught to be like this, but how willing are you to give up your stuff? Perhaps everything you get for Christmas this year? Yeah… that’s what I thought.

But by all means expect kids to do it. Good enough, right? 🙄

You’re a Douchebag

December 11, 2012

So let’s say you’re a parent of a – gasp! – teenager.

And this adolescent offspring of yours – gasp!- has opinions.

This fact somehow makes life just so awful for you. That who was once a helpless baby totally dependent on you is now behaving more independently of you. Probably even gets angry sometimes.

And you just get so frustrated. And you must vent to other parents of teens. And then come the gems. Whether it’s how lazy they are or how disobedient they are or the ever popular “they think they know everything!”

Yeah…

You’re a douchebag.

Okay, okay, parenting is hard. You want to share your frustrations with others who are likely going through the same or who have been at least sufficiently conditioned to sympathize with you.

Doesn’t matter. You’re a piece of shit.

You’re insulting not only your own children but other people who happen to be their same age. And why? So you can look “cool” in front of other adults. Oh, aren’t you so witty and clever? You’re taking shots at people over whom you have total legal and economic control. My, you’re so brave, you should get a medal!

And for that, you are a douchebag. Not enough people tell you this, but you need to hear it. That makes you a terrible person. Your “ugh! teenagers!” whining is significantly less mature than you insist these teenagers are. You completely disregard their personhood and basic right and need to be respected. You trivialize everything about them and make it all about you. Therefore, you are a piece of shit douchebag.

Have a nice day.

Anakin

December 10, 2012

So, unlike most of the rest of the world, I actually like the Star Wars prequels. I also sort of think much of the hate they get was inevitable, that being a later set, there was nothing that could have been in them that anyone would have liked. It’s also sort of the “cool” thing to say they’re bad.

Very common complaint was that the famous villain-turned-good Darth Vader, known well already as some badass in a big black robot suit, appears as not only human but… an emotional being! And… young! Especially in The Phantom Menace, because – oh noes! – he’s a child! And the presence of children offends people.

Okay, so, aside from the horrifying realization that Darth Vader was ever young, there’s also that he was a good guy and human. That he spent all of Attack of the Clones and the first part of Revenge of the Sith stupidly in love with Padme. And with it came the cheesy dialogue. Even after he turned evil, still with the cheesy dialogue. And he was whiny and demanding.

That’s all true. But here’s what gets conveniently ignored and forgotten… All six movies have cheesy dialogue, from all characters!

Also, Anakin was whiny and demanding? Alright, let’s play a little game. Imagine all of pre-Dark Side Anakin’s dialogue being said by Darth Vader, with James Earl Jones’s voice. And vice versa: imagine all of Darth Vader’s original trilogy dialogue being said by pre-Dark Side Anakin Skywalker, by Hayden Christensen.

Funny, I’m sure which one sounds whiny and demanding is a little less clear now. Original trilogy Darth Vader is in that big dark mechanical suit and much older, so of course his dialogue will be construed as menacing and badass, while that of young human Anakin, even if the same damn words, will be construed as some spoiled brat whining about something.

In the original trilogy, yes, Darth Vader is still demanding. Much of that owing to him being, you know, evil. And the evil guy in charge. And he’s even still whiny. It just doesn’t seem so since the whininess is usually accompanied by a choking.

Of Marriageable Age

December 9, 2012

Child marriage. It’s a gross human rights violation. Little girls being betrothed to men two or three times their ages because their fathers signed a form.

And then you get the stats about it. Where they list the percentages of people in a certain location who are married below a certain age.

Except that age is 18.

Yeah…

I don’t think so.

Don’t expect me to believe a 17-year-old choosing to enter into an equitable marriage is the same thing as an 11-year-old being sold to her 35-year-old cousin to be raped on her wedding night and forbidden from learning or having a career or doing anything other than serving her husband and pumping out tons of babies. Just… no. The latter is the one that is, you know, actually a serious human rights violation. The former is just someone well past puberty entering into an “adult” lifestyle sooner than people feel comfortable with.

And that’s not something that just gets solved with a “make sure no one under 18 can marry!” law. Age restrictions don’t cure anything. In fact, the aforementioned 11-year-old girl’s situation is pretty obviously bad in ways that go lightyears beyond her age. She’s in a society where it’s seen as acceptable to treat women that way at all. Making that all begin seven years later would mean her body is more ready for the baby-making, but that’s about the only difference. The fact that marriage in that society means being a husband’s property, and thus regularly raped and forbidden from outside activities, is a serious fucking problem which needs to be addressed head-on, and in doing that, the marriages of early-pubescent girls will likely stop, or at least there’d be no profit for anyone in it.

But if that’s too complicated, at least stop using 18 at the age under which marriage is a Serious Problem. At least lower it to 15 or something, and quit acting like marriages of girls who are only “children” because society says so are something to shriek about. And if marriage is so daunting that someone who entered into it has ruined their life or chances or something, the problem there is with the marriage itself, not the age.

Candles

December 8, 2012

Oh, would you look at that! It’s those silly December holidays again…

Chanukah: Ah, sundown at last! Time to light the menorah.

Christmas: Hiya, Chanukah!

Chanukah: Ugh. You again.

Christmas: Whatcha doin’?

Chanukah: What I always do on my first night. And each of the seven nights afterward. Lighting the menorah.

Christmas: Ooh, candles! Yay!

Chanukah: Um, yes, that’s right. Candles.

Christmas: I’ve got candles, too! Hang on. *rushes away* *about a minute passes* *rushes back with two long candles* Here they are. They’re red and green. My colors!

Chanukah: Uh huh. What are they for?

Christmas: These? Well, these candles seem like they’re for a dinner table. I’ve got more, though. Big fat ones that are red and glittery. Ones shaped like candy canes or reindeer. Little gingerbread-scented votives. Those old-timey ones that went on the trees before the electric lights were invented. And there’s of course those ones that go into those wreaths that Scandinavians like to wear on their heads for some reason.

Chanukah: All just meaningless decoration.

Christmas: Meaningless?! They’re fun and give light. I’m a Winter Solstice celebration, so Yule and all that other stuff had candles to light up the darkest days of the year.

Chanukah: But not part of the whole birth of Jesus thing. Because it’s not like you can include any Jews, right?

Christmas: Oh, don’t start with that! Jesus isn’t excluded. The midnight church services like to light candles while singing Silent Night. Jesus brought light, so to speak. It’s a metaphor, you see.

Chanukah: You’re really reaching, aren’t you! But you’ve accomplished your goal. Today is my day, and yet, though you are two and a half weeks away, you’ve made it all about you. Haven’t I made it abundantly clear I’m not merging into you?

Christmas: Loud and clear. You might even say… *lowers sunglasses* Midnight clear!

Chanukah: Get out of here!!! :doitnow:

Still Not a Laughing Matter

December 7, 2012

I hereby decree…

Sexual assault of men is still sexual assault!

Male victims of sexual assault have a way of being completely forgotten, especially if their assailants are female. But they exist. And it’s still sexual assault regardless of genders. Anyone working against sexual assault who’s worth their salt knows that.

Trouble is, many people who do know and voice that have a way of saying shit like “why are we worried so much about female victims?” Proceeding to resent feminist anti-rape activists. And this is a totally wrong way of looking at it.

Because the reason sexual assault of men gets treated as unimportant or even as a joke is still the same gender stereotypes, that men are supposed to want and enjoy sex all the time and women are supposed to refuse and not enjoy it. And that men are never supposed to refuse. And if they did refuse, they aren’t being masculine enough. Or that he must really have wanted it. Or he must be lying. Because the idea of a man, who’s supposed to be strong, being overpowered and taken advantage of by a woman, who’s supposed to be weak (and thus “supposed to be the one who gets raped”), just doesn’t compute with people. It also assumes sexual assault must be “forcible”, ignoring she could also have drugged him or blackmailed him.

It’s dangerous also to send women and girls the idea that nothing we do counts as sexual abuse toward a man. That it isn’t just as wrong for us to disrespect his boundaries and to touch him inappropriately and to pressure him into things. Combining that with the message that it is not possible for men or boys to be victims of this behavior (or that when they are, it’s not serious and actually just funny), and you have a troublesome situation indeed!

Sexual assault of ANYONE, by ANYONE, is a serious crime and violation. That isn’t to say rape culture and the objectification of women isn’t a major contributor. But they are still all symptoms of the same disease, the same rigid gender binary. And, simply, one very evil individual deciding he/she has complete rights over another’s body and will thus act accordingly.

And ridiculously pitting one kind against another, saying one is worse than the other, saying one gets too much attention, couldn’t possibly be less productive.

The Need to Learn

December 6, 2012

If you’ve seen some of my recent posts, you know I’m all about school reform and questioning the idea of compulsory schooling in general. There are people doing the same in all corners, including the unschooling community, doing so for their own different reasons. My reason is simply the rights of the student.

However, with many voices on this subject, you get many talking points. And as with any collection of talking points, you get some that are just plain stupid.

For the moment, I’ll focus on one.

“Why do I need to learn X? When am I ever going to use it?”

I admit it. That drives me up the damn wall. Well, truth be told, there are some times it’s a valid question. My brother is in third grade, and just like I had to in third grade, they’re making him learn cursive handwriting. He told me this and I was like “WTF? Why?” Come on, have you seen anyone write in cursive? There are some. And it is annoying as shit, because you can’t fucking read it. Not as quickly and easily as printed letters anyway. That seems to be one of those things they only continue to teach and require because adults just like the idea of children learning it, probably out of some ridiculous nostalgia.

But that is an exception, and there are a few others. The anti-school crowd, however, has a way of taking the “need to learn” idea to strange new levels. As in, they question the “need” to learn things like math, history, and science! Or at least certain portions of them.

“Why would I need to know algebra?!”
“Who needs to know the structure of the cell?!”
“How could I need to know about the French Revolution?!”

This goes beyond being anti-school. This is anti-intellectualism. This makes the subject matter itself out to be some sort of enemy, when what’s supposed to be the problem is the coercive mandatory nature of how it is being taught. Not to mention that some reasons I’ve seen from these people as to why certain (all?) subjects are “useless” are really fucking stupid.

I could go into why these subjects are in fact important, that even if they aren’t mandatory school subjects one should still learn them some way or another. History is important because to move forward as a society and human race, it helps to know where we’ve been. Developing good math skills has advantages just about anywhere. And scientific literacy may save your life some day, as that is what governs things like health and nutrition, among much more. And I’ll throw in language skills, so that people will actually be able to understand you, saving you and others much frustration.

Should someone stand over you and force you to memorize and practice these subjects under penalty of jail? Hell no. But that doesn’t mean learning these things isn’t still a good fucking idea anyway!

And even if it being a good idea is questionable, why exactly is extra knowledge being treated like a bad thing?