Light and Dark

December 21, 2013

The Winter Solstice is here again. Oh, I hear something…

Winter Solstice: It’s time for the sun to return!

Summer Solstice: Yeah, yeah, yeah…

Winter Solstice: Hey, what are you doing here?

Summer Solstice: I’m on the other side of the world. We occur at the same time, you know.

Winter Solstice: I know that. Anyway, why aren’t you celebrating? You have lots of sun.

Summer Solstice: And I have to see it go away. For that, nobody gives a damn. With you, they celebrate the sun returning, but by the time I come around, their brightest day of the year, no one cares. No summer Christmas for me.

Christmas: Did someone say my name?

Winter Solstice: Summer Solstice is feeling glum and without a holiday.

Christmas: What! Nonsense. You’ve got me. You’re today in the southern hemisphere, are you not?

Summer Solstice: Yeah. But having you is just sort of a happy accident.

Christmas: And the key word there is “happy”. So don’t be sad.

Winter Solstice: Now just a minute, Christmas. You’re specifically for me. Everything you’re made of comes out of Winter Solstice celebrations.

Christmas: And I think I’m fine with the southern hemisphere calling me a summer holiday just as they call me a winter one for you. Got a problem with that?

Winter Solstice: Yes! Because you’re specifically a winter holiday.

Christmas: I’m a lot of things. If I want to call myself also a celebration of the days being their longest and brightest, I’ll do that.

Winter Solstice: But it doesn’t make sense.

Christmas: Hey, does applying importance to axial tilt as if it means anything beyond that make any sense? Don’t pull at that thread.

Summer Solstice: Axial tilt? Yeah, that’s ours. But, Christmas, I thought Jesus was the reason for your season. 😉

Christmas: That, too.

Summer Solstice: So you already go beyond us solstices. What’s the matter here?

Christmas: I don’t know. I thought you were the one unhappy.

Summer Solstice: Winter gets all the celebration for the return of the sun, but I have the sun as returned and full as it’s going to get. And I get little celebration. I don’t get it.

Christmas: That doesn’t reflect upon you. Hey, how do you think I’d feel if I worried too much about what my celebrators do supposedly for me? Especially that mind-numbing “Merry Christmas” or “Happy Holidays” war. These people simply don’t make sense.

Summer Solstice: Is that supposed to make me feel better?

Christmas: Maybe? Or, perhaps, people are too busy lounging around in the bright sunny long days they don’t need to put on a special celebration? Perhaps a more subtle, more muted appreciated.

Summer Solstice: Hmmm. Could be.

Christmas: There you go! You don’t need to be the cheap crap that Winter Solstice and I are.

Winter Solstice: Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?

Summer Solstice: It means enjoy your hypothermia, losers!

Winter Solstice: Oy.

Said the Little Lamb

December 20, 2013

Alright, everyone. Time again to sing!

*taps conductor stick thingy*

Said the night wind to the little lamb,
“Do you see what I see?”

Ah, the wind is bored and feels like playing I Spy.

“Way up in the sky, little lamb.
Do you see what I see?”

I’m sure the small ovine appreciates the hint.

“A star, a star, dancing in the night,
With a tail as big as a kite,
With a tail as big as a kite.”

Oh, sure, give it away before the lamb has a chance to guess.

Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy,
“Do you hear what I hear?”

And the shepherd replied with “holy shit, a talking lamb!”

“Ringing through the night, shepherd boy.
Do you hear what I hear?”

Is it just that night wind playing I Spy with other random critters?

“A song, a song, higher than the trees
With a voice as big as the sea.
With a voice as big as the sea.”

This simile is silly to me.

Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king,
“Do you know what I know?”

Translation: Boy skips into the palace all chanting “I know something you don’t know! I know something you don’t know!”

“In your palace, oh, mighty king.
Do you know what I know?”

If this king is supposed to be Herod, then shepherd boy you’ve got a lot of blood on your hands.

“A child, a child, shivers in the cold.
Let us bring him silver and gold.
Let us bring him silver and gold.”

Or a coat or a blanket or something of immediate need for cold people.

Said the king to the people everywhere,
“Listen to what I say!”

Pfft. Everyone thinks their own words are so important. Get a Twitter account!

“Pray for peace, people everywhere.
Listen to what I say!”

What a useless statement.

“A child, a child, sleeping in the night.
He will bring us goodness and light.
He will bring us goodness and light.”

In 33 years, all we have to do is stick nails into him until he dies. Praise the Lord!

Conflict of Interest

December 19, 2013

Now for an opinionated debatable edition of…

SHUT THE HELL UP!!!!

Upton Sinclair said: “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends upon his not understanding it!”

It’s not an invalid point, but it gets annoying quickly when I see people quoting it a lot with the idea that if you work in an industry that does something even slightly controversial, you are then not allowed to have an opinion on that issue because it’s a “conflict of interest” for you.

For example, someone who works at a clinic where abortions are performed may try to defend the pro-choice viewpoint in conversation, only for some asshat to silence her with “Your salary depends on abortion being legal. Of course you can’t see why it’s wrong.”

What the fuck is that? Instead of bothering to debate her, said asshat just completely writes her off as somehow incapable of rational thought because of where she works. She only disagrees because she’s somehow muddled because of her source of income, not because, you know, she has some actual reasons and said asshat just might be wrong.

Some youth rights supporters believe parents have nothing of value to say about or contribute to the youth rights movement because they supposedly have some interest in keeping their children under their thumb. This is bullshit, of course, because there are some parents who support youth rights (including two of NYRA’s current board members) and even have a valuable insight into parenthood the rest of us don’t which can help to pave the way to a more youth-friendly world, which can’t be achieved very well through hypotheticals alone.

And that is another thing. Sometimes the people who are being written-off as inherently biased because they somehow benefit from “not understanding” actually have a better understanding than those writing them off. Often this is in the form of calling bullshit on a lot of exaggerations the opposition comes up with. One thing that got me thinking about this was a recent response by an immunologist to some stupid crap some anti-vaxxer was spouting. The immunologist gave a good response there to what seems to be willful ignorance on the part of whoever created that image at the top, clarifying the facts about vaccines and debunking the made-up nonsense. And yet… I couldn’t help the thought that some asshat might see that and assume that, being an immunologist, he may somehow benefit monetarily by widespread vaccinations and so of course he is defending them! 🙄

That’s right, you fail-riddled Upton Sinclair-wannabes. That’s how stupid you sound.

Unwise Purchases

December 18, 2013

People with Celiac Disease can’t eat gluten. It screws up their small intestine and makes them all kinds of sick. And yet, they are still perfectly free to waltz into any store and buy a loaf of bread.

People with peanut allergies must stay away from peanuts, obviously. In some cases, eating peanuts could kill them. Merely being around peanuts can mess them up. And yet, they are still perfectly free to waltz into any store and buy a can of peanuts.

Stores don’t require you to prove you can safely consume the foods you intend to buy before they sell them to you. They trust you can look after your own self and know what you should or shouldn’t be eating or drinking. Not that that’s really their place anyway.

But then there’s the drinking age. For this, stores are required to make their customers prove they are of legal drinking age before allowing the purchase. Because alcohol is supposedly uniquely harmful to those below that age.

Yet even if this were true, even if the tiniest sip of alcohol could cause someone 20 or under severe immediate damage, why are the sellers made responsible to ensure that the buyers of this product are those who can consume it safely, while they do no such thing for deadly allergens, which do a lot more damage to those with such allergies?

Maybe just throw this on the already gargantuan heaping pile of Reasons the Drinking Age Makes No Sense.

Let There Be Peace on Earth

December 17, 2013

So we can travel a lot more easily. So we can learn about each other and enjoy what we all have to offer more easily.

Without corrupt governments and politics sticking their asses into everything.

There are so many beautiful places to see and cultures to be exposed to and foods to taste, yet so many are in unstable environments, rife with crime and misery and poverty, brought on by corrupt infrastructure and political turmoil.

I’d like our relations with Russia to completely improve, and then we’ll build a bridge across the Bering Strait, so then we can drive to Asia. Take roadtrips to liberated China and India. Korean Peninsula could finally get along and then build a bridge to Hokkaido so we can drive to Japan as well. Then with the Middle East peaceful we can drive over there for some quality falafel. The kind they share with their Israeli neighbor friends because they have no beef with each other anymore. And then into Africa, free of corrupt governments and practices and abject poverty, for all the beauty it has to offer underneath all that.

Maybe international borders would just dissolve entirely. No more “illegal immigration” concerns because they would be welcome anywhere and even where they’d be coming from would be pleasant and peaceful and provide them with all they need.

No wars. No starvation. No atrocities.

Just a lot of cooperation and harmony and acceptance of difference.

It’d be nice.

Don’t Lower the Voting Age!

December 16, 2013

A major youth rights issue is granting youth the right to vote, by either lowering or abolishing the voting age, with or without implementating some other voter-fitness standard. Just this year, right in my county, Takoma Park lowered the city voting age to 16. But is such a measure a good idea?

There are so many concerns!

Such as…

Teens lack the political knowledge necessary to vote!
And said political knowledge necessary for voting is agreed upon by everyone. That’s why those without it are turned away from the polls. And why those with extra political knowledge get two votes.

Teens would just vote for celebrities.
Adult voters would never dream of voting for actors Ronald Reagan or Arnold Schwarzenegger, or wrestler Jesse Ventura.

Teens aren’t directly involved in what gets voted on.
Why let the students who actually attend the public schools vote for school board when some old creeper who watches them walk to the bus stop every day can?

Teens aren’t mature enough to vote.
Voters who come to the polls are given a battery of personality tests to be sure they perfectly meet some maturity standard. Those who do exceptionally well get two votes.

Teens will just vote the same way as their parents.
Someone voting the same way as someone else is forbidden. Votes for a candidate already voted for by someone else are thrown out. That’s why every election is a tie at one vote per candidate.

Teens are dependent on parents and don’t have jobs.
Only employed homeowners are allowed to vote. Stay-at-home moms and the elderly and those with disabilities are therefore not allowed to vote.

Teens do not value basic freedoms.
Adults would never dream of passing the Patriot Act.

Teens are into Justin Bieber and wearing their pants too low. They shouldn’t be voting.
Yeah, I know someone who went to vote last year only to be turned away from the polls for accidentally listening to 30 seconds of a Taylor Swift song. She also wore a white shirt two days after Labor Day.

Teens are apathetic and wouldn’t vote anyway so why bother?
Yeah, really. What, you think they might actually have a HIGHER turn out than adults? Don’t be silly.

Two-Point Conversion

December 15, 2013

I hereby decree…

Attempting a two-point conversion when merely kicking the extra point would tie the game is fucking stupid.

When a touchdown is scored, two-point conversions have their place. If the six points from the touchdown bring you to only five points down, it makes sense, as a successful one would bring you within three, so a field goal would tie, while with either just the extra point or no extra points after touchdown, a touchdown would be required to get ahead. Similar thing is you’re down by two after the touchdown, whereas missing or making the extra point would still not be enough and both would require at least a field goal, but the two-point conversion would tie. Situations like that are where attempting a two-point conversion is merited.

When it is not a good idea is in the final seconds of the game, you make the touchdown and you’re down by only one. Kicking the extra point would tie it, and you can still win in overtime. Two-point conversion would win right then, sure, but it’s harder and the tie would at least keep you alive. So you go for the tie. This is a no-brainer. Only idiots would decide to go for two, particularly when you haven’t won a game in like two months and your fans are getting restless.

I love you, Washington Redskins, but you’re idiots. :doitnow:

The Prettiest Sight to See

December 14, 2013

Alright, let’s sing again. Because it’s fun. Because it’s Christmas time. Because, dear God, it’s barely middle of the month and I’m already tapped out.

Anyway…

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

That it is. Though some people have been bitching about this since September. And by bitching that it’s looking like Christmas, it means some KMart decided to get a jump on garland sales and suddenly it’s “Eeek, Christmas creep!”

Take a look at the Five and Ten
Glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow

Is this before or after Bryan Adams got his first real six-string?

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Soon the bells will start
But the thing that will make them ring
Is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.

Either that or just singing and using your hands to ring a bell. Hearts are better at the whole blood pumping thing.

A pair of hop-along boots
And a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben

Ah, a couple of Second Amendment supporters I see.

Dolls that can talk
And can go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen.

Gender binary!

And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again!

Go fuck yourself and die.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Everywhere you go

Cool. How so?

There’s a tree in the grand hotel

I should think so.

One in the park as well
The sturdy kind that doesn’t mind the snow.

A tree that doesn’t mind snow. Also known as… a tree.

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in every store

Didn’t Barnes and Noble use to be a bookstore?

And the prettiest sight to see
Is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

My decorations are better than your decorations! :doitnow:

Responses Again

December 13, 2013

Oh, crimony, another damn school shooting, because Colorado is the shooting state apparently.

Just a day shy of the anniversary of Sandy Hook.

Uh oh, not again…

“This is why guns should be illegal!”
“This is why we all need guns!”
“This is why young people need to be locked up until they’re 30!”
“This is why public schools must be abolished!”
“This is why we need more services for the mentally ill!”
“This is why we must do away with violent media!”
“JESUS! We all must accept JESUS!”

In Sin and Error Pining

December 12, 2013

Alright, it’s not Christmas Eve yet, but let’s sing!

O Holy Night, the stars are brightly shining

Sounds lovely.

It is the night of our dear Savior’s birth.

Huh. Seem to know a lot about someone who was apparently only just born. What if he doesn’t want to be a Savior? What if he wants to be a ballroom dancer?

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Poor world. 🙁

Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth

Soul feeling worth is needed, but does it have to rely on him? And can it still feel worth if he does go the ballroom dancing route?

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.

Yay! It’s a new day! 🙂

Fall on your knees

Ouch! That’ll mess up the new day if your knees are sore.

Oh hear the angel voices

It must just be some drunks in a nearby tavern. Same diff.

Oh night divine, oh night
When Christ was born

Oh, that’s who you’ve been talking about!

Oh night, oh holy night
Oh night divine!

Still, ballroom dancing is probably a lot less excruciating than being crucified. Probably.

Second verse!
Continue reading “In Sin and Error Pining”