Month: March 2006

World Trade Center

March 9, 2006

I hereby decree…

They should rebuild the Twin Towers! Bigger ones! Better ones! Ones that don’t fall down when planes hit them!

Seriously, none of this “Freedom Tower” bullshit. It’d be WAY more patriotic to just rebuild the towers as they were (or bigger and better and resistant to planes, as decreed, hehe). Why? Because, otherwise, we’re letting the terrorists know they’ve succeeded in defacing our largest city. They destroyed a landmark. Yet it won’t just be rebuilt. They’re building something else entirely. Just a slap in the face that this something else has the intention of promoting patriotism, when its very existence will be an insult. Here’s how it should be:

World Trade Center: In Loving Memory of the old World Trade Center destroyed on September 11, 2001.

Basically saying to the terrorists “Whatever, bitch, we’ll just rebuild them. Did you really think that would scare us?”

Is that so fucking hard? Meh. Apparently so.

Joke

March 5, 2006

What’s the difference between Budapest and a Nazi all-male brothel?

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Budapest is full of Hungarians while the brothel is full of hung Aryans.

😀 :cute:

Ash Wednesday

March 1, 2006

Alright, fellow children of God (hehe, I can’t say that with a straight face!). Listen up. It is now Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. The long 40-day haul of sacrificing some aspect of life out of some token respect for Jesus has begun. You can have whatever it is back on Sundays, and may have it back completely after Good Friday. Jesus suffered and died on the Cross for your sorry, sinful asses. Surely you can give up one measly item or activity. And, hey, it’s only for six straight days, then you can have it back Sunday, then go the six days again. Not that hard.

Gave up coffee? Leave the pot off until Sunday morning. Gave up smoking? Get some lollipops for Monday through Saturday? Gave up sex? Quit shivering, you can still fuck on Sunday.

Just don’t be stupid and give up something you need or something that giving it up screws over other people. I mean, don’t go giving up leaving the house and wondering why you lost your fucking job. Pick something else. Or if you’re a firefighter and you gave up using helmets and asbestos gloves and shit. That’s just suicide. Last I checked, suicide is a sin. One you die with. At least it should be. It’s kind of cheating if you think about it.

So that’s the gist of Lent. Don’t screw it up.

Oh, and don’t forget that Ash Wednesday and Good Friday are meatless. Fish is okay, though. They are probably also a fasting days, but meh. Whatever. Just don’t let me catch you eating a fucking hamburger today, dipshit.