There I was checking out what search phrases hit Science Village when I happen upon a link that says “Are You Pregnant? Take our Quiz to find out!” Hmmm. Good question. If I’m pregnant, I’d sure like to know about it! So I took the quiz.
\n
\nMy age? Somewhere between 20 and 29. Why? Does that mean I’m pregnant? Oh, dear.<\/p>\n
Oh, wait, there’s more questions.<\/p>\n
My last period? Well, let’s see. My last day of high school was in June of 1998. So, yeah, last period of the last day of school was around then. I think the class was French. Oh, no, that’s right. It was geometry.<\/p>\n
When might I have gotten pregnant? Shit, if I knew THAT I wouldn’t be in this mess!<\/p>\n
Are my periods regular or irregular? Well, when I was actually in middle school and high school, they were regular. Seven periods a day. Seriously, what’s with all these school schedule questions?<\/p>\n
What’s my method of birth control? I don’t know. How would I control something like that? I’m not the Chinese government. I’ll just say Nothing.<\/p>\n
Do I have nausea? Right now? Yeah, sort of. I’m still stuffed from dinner.<\/p>\n
Have I been vomiting? If Chris keeps making doctored pics of me and Alex, I just might!<\/p>\n
Breast tenderness? Well, I don’t cook chicken that often so it’s hard to say. Got to go to a restaurant for some nice, tender chicken breasts.<\/p>\n
Do I urinate more often? Who’s to say? Everything I drink is a diuretic!<\/p>\n
Have I gained weight recently? Nah. Pants don’t feel any tighter than usual.<\/p>\n
My results?<\/p>\n
The chance of pregnancy is moderate.<\/b><\/font><\/p>\n Oh, shit! Well, there you go. I’m having a baby. The quiz says so. Amazing what the Internet can tell us these days, what with determining whether or not you’ve got a little one growing inside you via questions about high school, poultry, and world population. I mean, I’m still trying to figure out how it happened, but, you know, these quizzes don’t lie.<\/p>\n That’s that. I’m going to be a mommy. I’d better go start thinking of names now.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There I was checking out what search phrases hit Science Village when I happen upon a link that says “Are You Pregnant? Take our Quiz to find out!” Hmmm. Good question. If I’m pregnant, I’d sure like to know about it! So I took the quiz.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-52","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-teh-interwebs"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=52"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1824,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/52\/revisions\/1824"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=52"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=52"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=52"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}