{"id":2593,"date":"2026-03-31T20:04:19","date_gmt":"2026-04-01T01:04:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/?p=2593"},"modified":"2026-03-31T23:47:30","modified_gmt":"2026-04-01T04:47:30","slug":"zoo-spring-2026","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/2026\/03\/31\/zoo-spring-2026","title":{"rendered":"Zoo – Spring 2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

DC isn’t just politics. It’s also, you know, a city, full of people and places and such.<\/p>\n

Like the zoo of course.<\/a><\/p>\n

It begins at the top of a hill on Connecticut Ave about halfway between the Cleveland Park and Woodley Park Metro stops. It’s free to enter, being the Smithsonian and all, but these days they make you get a ticket with a QR code. Not sure how long that’s been a thing.<\/p>\n

I guess it’s still technically winter, on the day I visited, but that’s shouldn’t be an issue.<\/p>\n

Oh.
\n<\/p>\n

But here’s a fishing cat on the Asia trail.
\n<\/p>\n

Down this way is the major quintissential attraction. And I know they like the cooler weather…<\/p>\n

Awwww!
\n<\/p>\n

And now you’re slumped forward on the log!
\n<\/p>\n

The Bird House is over this way. I got inside but then had to wait in line. A door alarm kept beeping somewhere nearby which the staff were doing nothing about. Then they let us into some exhibit about Delaware Bay shore birds.<\/p>\n

Hi, sandpipers!
\n<\/p>\n

Followed the exhibit through another room with some cool ducks and then the rainforest room. Back outside and around the building were more birds.<\/p>\n

Flamingos!
\n<\/p>\n

Back across the bridge to-
\n
\nElephants!
\n<\/p>\n

Anyway, back to the panda path. Ah, the red pandas should be over here…<\/p>\n

Oh.
\n<\/p>\n

I guess I’ll see them another time. Now to enter the panda building. The one I saw earlier wasn’t out in the yard anymore. Perhaps inside now.<\/p>\n

Awwwww!
\n<\/p>\n

Holy shit, I can just sit here watching this big fluffy soccer ball nosh on bamboo all goddamn day!
\n<\/p>\n

This is the best thing ever!
\n<\/p>\n

Okay, okay, I guess there’s other critters to see around here.<\/p>\n

Back out of the building and off the Asia Trail to the main thoroughfare again, making my way downhill. Let’s check out the Africa Trail now. I want to see the cheetahs!<\/p>\n

Whaaaat? Aww, man.
\n<\/p>\n

Some other time, I guess.<\/p>\n

Sigh. Is MBS involved in this?
\n<\/p>\n

Ah, here’s the Elephant House. I heard one of them recently had a baby. Quite an accomplishment, given elephant pregnancies last *checks Wikipedia<\/a>* one and a half to two years?!<\/p>\n

Good to give them space!
\n<\/p>\n

Ah, here’s a closer view of the elephants in the yard.
\n<\/p>\n

Back to the main road, on down the hill.<\/p>\n

Hey, I think that horse used to coach basketball at Duke.
\n<\/p>\n

Not to be confused with the Russian mice escaping the cat pogroms.
\n<\/p>\n

Otters!
\n<\/p>\n

They just kept doing laps in their little pool. Awww!<\/p>\n

Ohh, hello, beautiful!
\n<\/p>\n

“Yes, I am majestic. I permit you to worship me.”
\n<\/p>\n

What’s all that noise? Some loud hooting and screaming from somewhere nearby, higher up.<\/p>\n

Sounds angry. Argumentative.<\/p>\n

Ohhh, it’s the gibbons. I guess they’re having a spat. I wonder what about.
\n<\/p>\n

Into the Small Mammal House…<\/p>\n

Fennec fox!
\n<\/p>\n

This Rock Hyrax is questioning every decision ever made.
\n<\/p>\n

Red Ruffed Lemur wants to be drawn like one of your French girls.
\n<\/p>\n

“Yeah, what do you want?”
\n<\/p>\n

“If one more goddamn person sings ‘Hakuna Matata’ at me, I swear to fucking God…”
\n<\/p>\n

“We should paint the Great Ape House.”
\n“With what? Let me guess…”
\n“Lots of fucking bees.”
\n“…what?”
\n“Lots of fucking bees!”
\n<\/p>\n

Of course. It’s DC after all.
\n<\/p>\n

More thoughtful than certain others in this town.
\n<\/p>\n

Hey, a story about cookies!
\n<\/p>\n

The bakery is closed! The horror!
\n<\/p>\n

Salmon, meanwhile, lack the ability to bake their own cookies and thus die.
\n<\/p>\n

That’s what he said.
\n<\/p>\n

She seems rightly offended at the question.
\n<\/p>\n

“If one more goddamn person sings ‘Circle of Life’ at me, I swear to fucking God…”
\n<\/p>\n

It’s a kitty!
\n<\/p>\n

Are any of you the bobcat who escaped a few years back?
\n<\/p>\n

“Already it’s the bottom of the hill, what exhibit should we put here?”
\n“Screw it, throw a damn farm over there and be done with this. I want to go home.”
\n<\/p>\n

“A farm? Isn’t that kind of phoning it in?”
\n“Maybe have a goat balance on a platform or something.”
\n<\/p>\n

Now around to the Amazonia building.<\/p>\n

Hey, a sea pancake! Er, um, Amazon River pancake?
\n<\/p>\n

Brazilian Rainbow Boa is pretending not to be here.
\n<\/p>\n

Angry frog wants you dead.
\n<\/p>\n

After perusing the tropical amphibians, back outside, again on the American Trail.<\/p>\n

Sea lion!
\n<\/p>\n

On the main walk again, making way back uphill.<\/p>\n

“Presenting… the O-Line!”
\n“The… the what?!”
\n“The O-Line!”
\n“Ummm…”
\n“What’s not to get? It’s a suspended line allowing orangutans to travel between habitats.”
\n<\/p>\n

Let’s see some reptiles now.<\/p>\n

This one is sick of your shit.
\n<\/p>\n

Reptile House exhibits are like Where’s Waldo, only scalier.
\n<\/p>\n

This monitor might be making it too easy.
\n<\/p>\n

Cuban crocodile lies in wait.
\n<\/p>\n

You see, this is why they don’t let anyone stay overnight alone with any of the reptiles…
\n<\/p>\n

Tail.
\n<\/p>\n

Whoa. What’s in there? Do I need to answer a riddle? Find an ancient relic?
\n<\/p>\n

Aldabra tortoise, in all its hugeness.
\n<\/p>\n

Did Aloy write this?
\n<\/p>\n

Back outside and around behind the building…<\/p>\n

Big wingless fireless friend!
\n<\/p>\n

I guess that’s about it. Hiked back up the hill as closing neared, popped into the gift shop, and didn’t buy anything. Oh, well, I live in the area. I can come back easily and see the critters while enduring the crowds.<\/p>\n

There’s also some places closer to me that are quieter with fewer crowds…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

DC isn’t just politics. It’s also, you know, a city, full of people and places and such. Like the zoo of course. It begins at the top of a hill on Connecticut Ave about halfway between the Cleveland Park and Woodley Park Metro stops. It’s free to enter, being the Smithsonian and all, but these … Continue reading “Zoo – Spring 2026”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,32],"tags":[50,51],"class_list":["post-2593","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-going-places","category-science","tag-holy-week-2026","tag-local"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2593","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2593"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2593\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2597,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2593\/revisions\/2597"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2593"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2593"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2593"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}