{"id":1408,"date":"2015-12-18T21:16:57","date_gmt":"2015-12-19T02:16:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/?p=1408"},"modified":"2015-12-18T21:16:57","modified_gmt":"2015-12-19T02:16:57","slug":"roasting","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/2015\/12\/18\/roasting","title":{"rendered":"Roasting"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gather around. Gather around. Let’s sing!<\/p>\n

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire<\/i><\/p>\n

Sounds hazardous.<\/p>\n

Jack Frost nipping at your nose<\/i><\/p>\n

Pervert.<\/p>\n

Yuletide carols being sung by a choir<\/i><\/p>\n

That’s nice.<\/p>\n

And folks dressed up like Eskimos.<\/i><\/p>\n

That’s racist.<\/p>\n

Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
\nHelp to make the season bright.<\/i><\/p>\n

Being sleepy and kissing?<\/p>\n

Tiny tots with their eyes all aglow
\nWill find it hard to sleep tonight.<\/i><\/p>\n

Didn’t they get any turkey?<\/p>\n

They know that Santa’s on his way
\nHe’s loaded lots of toys and goodies on his sleigh<\/i><\/p>\n

Yay!<\/p>\n

And every mother’s child is going to spy
\nTo see if reindeer really know how to fly.<\/i><\/p>\n

These kids want proof of these supernatural claims. I like that.<\/p>\n

And so I’m offering this simple phrase
\nTo kids from one to ninety-two<\/i><\/p>\n

What about 11-month-olds? What about 93-year-olds? Hmph!<\/p>\n

Although it’s been said many times, many ways
\nMerry Christmas to you!<\/i><\/p>\n

And no one is arresting you for saying it. Take note, Christian conservatives!<\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Gather around. Gather around. Let’s sing! Chestnuts roasting on an open fire Sounds hazardous. Jack Frost nipping at your nose Pervert. Yuletide carols being sung by a choir That’s nice. And folks dressed up like Eskimos. That’s racist. Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe Help to make the season bright. Being sleepy and kissing? … Continue reading “Roasting”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,26],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1408","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-time","category-musical-musing"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1408","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1408"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1408\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1409,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1408\/revisions\/1409"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1408"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1408"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1408"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}