{"id":1289,"date":"2014-12-23T23:50:51","date_gmt":"2014-12-24T04:50:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/?p=1289"},"modified":"2015-08-23T19:21:33","modified_gmt":"2015-08-24T00:21:33","slug":"three-ships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/2014\/12\/23\/three-ships","title":{"rendered":"Three Ships Too Far"},"content":{"rendered":"

Yay, Christmas songs are fun! \ud83d\ude00<\/p>\n

I saw three ships come sailing in
\nOn Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
\nI saw three ships come sailing in
\nOn Christmas Day in the morning.<\/p>\n

The Virgin Mary and Christ were there
\nOn Christmas Day, on Christmas Day
\nThe Virgin Mary and Christ were there
\nOn Christmas Day in the mor-<\/i><\/p>\n

*massive earthquake*<\/p>\n

*reality itself seems to split at the seams*<\/p>\n

Whoa! What’s happening?<\/p>\n

“OVERLOAD! OVERLOAD!”<\/p>\n

Huh? What? What’s overloaded?<\/p>\n

“THERE IS TOO MUCH SHIT IN THE NATIVITY SCENE!”<\/p>\n

There is? How so?<\/p>\n

“HOW SO?! THINK ABOUT IT. IT’S FAR BEYOND JUST MARY, JOSEPH, JESUS, AND THE STAR. THERE ARE SHEPHERDS. THERE ARE THREE WISE MEN. THERE ARE A CRAPLOAD OF FARM ANIMALS. THERE’S THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY. AND NOW… FUCKING SHIPS!”<\/p>\n

I didn’t write that song. I was just singing it. Besides, what’s wrong with ships?<\/p>\n

“THERE ARE NO BODIES OF WATER CLOSE ENOUGH TO BETHLEHEM FOR SHIPS TO MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE!”<\/p>\n

What if they’re flying ships?<\/p>\n

“WHY THE FUCK WOULD THERE BE FLYING SHIPS? HONESTLY!”<\/p>\n

For the same reason there’s a baby born from a virgin impregnated by God, under a conveniently placed star. Why the hell not flying ships?<\/p>\n

“ONE SUPERNATURAL THING AT A TIME!”<\/p>\n

Speaking of supernatural, what the hell are you supposed to be?<\/p>\n

“NEVER YOU MIND.”<\/p>\n

How about repairing reality? Whatever you are, you sure pitch a fit when the nativity scene gets out of whack. Wait, does this mean you’re…?<\/p>\n

“EVERYTHING NORMAL!”<\/p>\n

*reality restores itself*<\/p>\n

Huh. That was weird.<\/p>\n

<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Yay, Christmas songs are fun! \ud83d\ude00 I saw three ships come sailing in On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day I saw three ships come sailing in On Christmas Day in the morning. The Virgin Mary and Christ were there On Christmas Day, on Christmas Day The Virgin Mary and Christ were there On Christmas Day … Continue reading “Three Ships Too Far”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[21,26,8,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-christmas-time","category-musical-musing","category-the-occasional-godliness","category-wtf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1289"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1343,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1289\/revisions\/1343"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eightminefortress.com\/surewhynot\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}