Or, as I call it, Exploitation Theatre

March 25, 2006

And now, yet another intrusive, chuckles-at-others’-expense round of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

I grant this to the abomination that has plagued television screens for a long time now, and seeing as television screens bear a lot of abominations as it is, this is saying something. This one in particular bears an ironic name. It is called… America’s Funniest Videos.
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Standard Disney Formula

February 26, 2006

Last night I was at a neighbor’s house for several hours, keeping an eye on the ten-year-old boy who lives there while his parents were out. (Can you tell I’m trying to avoid using the word “baby-sit”? He’s not a baby!) So, basically, just sat there with him watching TV all evening. Not exactly taxing. Until about 8pm, anyway, when he switched to the Disney channel to watch a movie that was coming on, some crap with Lindsey Lohan and Tyra Banks about a doll that comes to life.
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This Is How Movies Should NOT Advertise

February 17, 2006

There’s three fundamental annoying kinds of movie ads that I think we could all do without. They tell us nothing about the movie. They treat us all like we’re stupid (granted, that’s appropriate for most people but not for smart people like, you know, yours truly). They go out of their way to focus on shit that has nothing to do with the movie in any way, shape, or form.
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Simpsons Nouveaux

January 8, 2006

And now, for a cruel yet crunchily satisfying bout of…

YOU SUCK!!!!

So, looking at the title of this post, what do you think I’m giving this YOU SUCK message to now? Recent Simpsons episodes? Am I going to piss and moan that tonight’s episode got little more than a chuckle out of me and that I wish the show was more like it was in its 5th season? WRONG!!! That’s wrong, dumbass. In fact, the ones receiving this special YOU SUCK award are the very people who do bitch about newer Simpsons episodes constantly. So, all of you, please, shut the hell up!
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All I Wanted Was a Snack, Not More Ageist Piece of Crap!

January 6, 2006

Argh!!!!

Okay, I have had it with the local news. Sure, there’s lots of crap about the local news that’s worth a bitch here and there. It comes with the territory. Bias. And, um, bias. Let’s see, there’s also… bias. Oh, don’t forget bias. Bias, too! Last but not least…. bias!

Perhaps I should be more specific. As many of my complaints tend to involve, this is about youth. The local news is just yet another public outlet that shits all over youth without a care. And the worst part about it is that in doing so, they’re inviting every one of their brainless viewers to carelessly shit all over youth as well. It’s on the news! It must be true. But let’s continue.
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