Anyway, let’s get on with this shitshow.
January: Imminent Threat
-Oh, awesome, we might be about to go to war with Iran.
-Meanwhile, year-old conversation between Sanders and Warren for some reason.
-Victoria, good. William Shatner, bad.
-Hmm. Keep seeing mention of some virus in China. Yikes, hope they get that contained.
February: A Matter of Right and Wrong
-I missed the groundhog’s prediction. What was it, Chiefs or 49ers?
-Senate votes to acquit… surprise, surprise.
-Iowa caucus at long last. And it goes to… Sanders or Buttigieg, probably?
-Though looks like Biden didn’t really perform at all?
-Bernie gets New Hampshire and Nevada!
-And there’s Biden snatching South Carolina.
-Parasite. Good for them.
-Meanwhile, that virus hasn’t gone away…
March: Flatten the Curve
-Oof, Biden is back in this race and running away with it.
-Sigh, so much for Bernie.
-The virus is here.
-Better wash hands a lot and disinfect groceries.
-Everything is closing.
-Sports are postponed indefinitely.
-For how long?
April: Various Corn
-Looks like Easter is coming up. Need people to stay home.
-My Easter tradition is mostly unaffected by virus. That’s good.
-Okay, time to mask up!
-What do you mean some governors want to open their states back up? Cases are rising!
-Oh, they’re doing it to please the Orange Thing? Okay then…
-My primary got postponed to June. Though Bernie dropped out so it’s just Biden.
-And I thought grocery shopping was hell before…
-So tired of parents trashing their kids totally unprompted just to make small talk in conference calls.
-And with the senseless murder of George Floyd, we have another explosion of protests for racial justice.
-Complete with cops beating up and arresting journalists. -_-
June: I Can’t Breathe
-Time for primary. To drop off ballot that had only just arrived four days ago.
-Keep your TERF mouth shut, Rowling.
-Racial justice protests still going strong!
July: Person Woman Man Camera TV
-Chili and berry cake!
-No ‘splosions though. Because of virus.
-Holy crap, the football team is regenerating…
-Mmm… delicious blondies!
-John Lewis 🙁
-First pitch from Fauci!
August: Ammonium Nitrate
-Yikes, poor Beirut!
-And it’s Kamala Harris for VP.
-The postal service is being fucked with.
-I baked something that didn’t taste good. Now I’m annoyed.
-Now I baked something very tasty. Yay!
-Life on Venus? Sure, throw it on this year’s pile…
-Don’t yell at me.
-Was that… was that the debate?
October: Someone’s Crazy Uncle
-Virtual NYRA conference!
-LOL Orange Thing got the virus
-Fly on Pence’s head at the debate
-Savannah Guthrie saying what needs to be said
-Dropped off ballot!
-Not very many trick or treaters because virus 🙁
November: Red Mirage
-Polls are closed.
-Results trickling in.
-Just keep counting… just keep counting…
-States looking good for Biden swing to Orange Thing.
-States looking good for Orange Thing swing to Biden.
-Just keep counting… just keep counting…
-Ignore the armed right wing “poll watchers”
-Just staying up all night and all day at work with CNN…
-And on Saturday morning…
-Dancing in the streets.
-Orange Thing is OUT
-Car maintenance is expensive
-Macy’s Parade without spectators!
-Again, Dallas sucks
-Solo Thanksgiving… for everyone who’s smart
December: They’re Goats
-Or not smart. Cases went up.
-Oh, fucking shit, I’ve got mice in my damn house again.
-Er… virtual Zoom poetry reading Winter Festival because virus.
-Look at that, you fucked with the postal service, and now all the Christmas packages are late.
-Certified Electoral College results. It’s Joe Biden!
-Christmas Eve service… via YouTube live… earlier in the evening.
-IT’S SNOWING ON CHRISTMAS MORNING! IT’S SNOWING ON CHRISTMAS MORNING!
-Soul as New Year’s Eve movie (on Disney+, theaters are kind of not a thing at the moment)
It was the first two months that feel like a century ago, with their own worries and issues, and then March hit and everything changed and ever since it’s been waiting and seeing and trying to maintain our mental and physical health all the while. We blame the year, though COVID-19 is called that because it began in 2019, its own little parting gift that 2020 had to deal with. Mercifully, we have a new president next month, one who takes all this and the job itself seriously, even if not without his own many flaws. There are vaccines being administered and more coming out. So there’s a little bit to be hopeful about, even if going in 2021 just under an hour from now won’t magically change anything right away. For a little while still, we need to adapt to the situation where we can.
And wear a fucking mask!
There’s 2021, up there in Times Square as usual, above absolutely no crowds very unusually. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens…