Can I really do another one after last year’s kicked so much ass? Of course I can.
While I sit here on this Valentine’s Day, munching my candy hearts, what is stupid about love and relationships that I feel like blasting now? So many questions…
Wait. That’s it! So many questions!
It’s probably a cliche that when you develop feelings for someone, your common sense pretty much dies. Maybe even your whole brain. And suddenly… everything is suspect and questionable. Usually, things being suspect and questionable means you’re intelligent, but this is a big exception to that.
Ever developed an interest in someone? Or watched a friend do so? Most likely. And you know it’s not pretty. Because you know what it means…
“Why hasn’t he/she called yet?”
“I sent him/her a text five minutes ago. Why no reply? Does he/she hate me?!”
“What did he/she mean by that?”
“Oh no! He/She mentioned an ex in the course of conversation. He/She must want to go back to the ex!”
“What was that look he/she gave me? What is that about? What does it mean?!”
“Oh God, I think he/she is mad at me. He/She said [insert completely benign ambiguous statement]! What does it mean? Why does he/she hate me?”
“I called him/her and he/she was busy. I’m sure it’s a lie. He/She is just avoiding me.”
“How soon should I talk to him/her again?”
“Do you think this will EVER work? Or will he/she hate me FOREVER?”
I’ve heard all of these from a number of people over the years. I’ve even said some of these, most regrettably. Not very attractive, is it? Of course not. It’s fucking stupid. It’s the stupidity that is the void left when one’s brain has fallen into a deep dormancy when one’s heart and/or genitals get all “WANT!”
Might have thought this is mostly what those more inexperienced with relationships do, but no, even those who’ve been through many still act this way. Honestly, how anyone ever hooks up after wading through this bullshit is beyond me. Probably just thinking, with their last inkling of brain power, “That sex better be damn good!” I suppose it is.
Oh, well. *eats candy hearts* What does this one say? TALK 2 ME. Oh, isn’t that cute, it uses a 2 instead of “to”. YOU FLIRT. Um, sure. HEAD/HEELS. Ha! It’s one of them puzzles. I’M IN LOVE. Uh oh. Careful, candy heart, before you start saying the shit listed above.