Oddities

So three hours ago I was sitting here at my desk when I noticed the floor was shaking. Figured something heavy was being wheeled down the hallway… something REALLY heavy! Conference room windows were shaking. Then… I realized nothing was being wheeled down the hallway. We were having a goddamn EARTHQUAKE! Wow!

Goodness, we don’t get those around here, in the DC area! Hit 6 or so on the Richter scale!

*ring, ring, ring*

Oh, hang on, I’m getting a call. *reads caller ID* It’s from California!

*answers*

Hello?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

*hangs up*

Hmm, that’s weird.

—

Oh, man, what a hot day! It’s like 115 degrees! Doesn’t usually get this hot here in the DC area.

*ring, ring, ring*

Oh, hang on, I’m getting a call. *reads caller ID* It’s from Arizona!

*answers*

Hello?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

*hangs up*

Hmm, that’s weird.

—

Uh oh! There’s a hurricane heading RIGHT THIS WAY! We’d better get ready. Winds are over 100mph! We don’t usually get hurricanes here in the DC area.

*ring, ring, ring*

Oh, hang on, I’m getting a call. *reads caller ID* It’s from Florida!

*answers*

Hello?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

*hangs up*

Hmm, that’s weird.

—

WTF?! It’s a huge ass BLIZZARD! It’s like 10 degrees and we’re getting over three feet of snow! We don’t usually get this here in the DC area.

*ring, ring, ring*

Oh, hang on, I’m getting a call. *reads caller ID* It’s from Vermont!

*answers*

Hello?

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

*hangs up*

Hmph!

—

How about you all just come to DC then?

*sometime later*

“Eww, it’s so humid here!”
“There are severe thunderstorms every night?!”
“Gah, I’ve been stuck in traffic on the beltway for three hours and have only moved 20 feet!”
“What do you mean ‘one way street?’ They’re all one-way streets!”
“There’s so many trees! I can’t stop sneezing!”
“What do you mean Metro is single tracking?!”
“The electricity won’t be back on for several days?… Who the hell is Pepco?”
“Oh, my God, there’s stinkbugs and mosquitos everywhere!”
“Who would want to live here?!”

That’s what I thought.

This has been Day 92 of the 100 Days of Summer, Round 11.