Sparkle Sparkle

I hereby decree…

Leave Twilight alone!

Jesus Christ, am I sick of everywhere I look, mostly online but also some offline, there’s the exact same stale attacks on the popular Stephenie Meyer book series “Twilight”. I used to read most of the Cheezburger sites on a daily basis, but stopped because it seemed like every damn thing on any of the sites was something whose entire humor seemed to be that it was mocking Twilight or Justin Bieber. Honestly, it’s fine once in a while, but all the damn time? There’s other shit in the world, you know!

It’s the same shit, too.

“Oh noes, Edward Cullen is a sparkling vampire? That’s an insult to real vampires! I’m offended!”

“Oh noes, why is Bella so attracted to Edward when he’s totally stalking her? That’s not a healthy relationship!”

“Haha, for Bella it’s a choice between a dead guy who’s 100 years older than her or a werewolf.”

“Oh, God, it’s sooo poorly written!”

I actually did read Twilight recently. It didn’t exactly blow me away, nor really keep me hooked, but I didn’t find it anywhere near deserving of the venom it gets all the time. True, I haven’t read the other three books yet, so we’ll see how I feel then.

I would say that if Twilight bothers you so much, you could, you know, read something else. But that’s a moot point because vast majority of the people who make these attacks have not read them but have merely heard about them from others and make their little complaints based entirely on that. Say what you will about the obnoxious Twilight fans, but at least they fucking READ what it is they are expressing an opinion on!

As for those complaining about how the Cullens aren’t “real” vampires, well, honestly, having actually read the book, they seem pretty vampire-like to me. In fact, a lot of the complaints about the book are things that are answered within it, such as why the Cullens don’t eat humans. But again, most of the people going on and on about how terrible Twilight is haven’t actually read it, so it’s not like they’d know.

And the people whining that Bella’s relationship with Edward is unhealthy? Yeah, I agree with that, but to be honest, in all the books I’ve read, all the movies I’ve seen, all the TV shows I’ve watched, and in very many real people I’ve known, I can’t say any of these fictional or real relationships have been 100% healthy. So if you’re worried about the influence this may have on young people reading this, I think you’re ignoring that this is far from the only look at relationships, real or fictional, that they see, that they have friends, family, and get other sorts of entertainment than this. And, again, if you’re going to criticize Bella and Edward’s relationship, actually read the damn book to see what the issues are.

As for it being poorly written, meh. No worse than many other books. Most other books. Hell, Harry Potter is technically poorly written but it’s still awesome. Plenty of books I’ve read that are “classics” have been at least as poorly written as Twilight. Break just as many “rules” of novel writing, have just as many things that aren’t clear, and make a few obvious factual errors. So what?

I mean, if you yourself read the books and are disgusted, okay, then you have room to actually talk. But if you haven’t, and you make fun of those who have, and have the nerve to act like you know everything that is wrong with them, again, don’t go blaming the Twilight fans for being “conformist” or whatever. They actually read it and made up their own minds. You’re basing your opinion on what others have told you to think and haven’t looked it up yourself. That doesn’t make you cool. Quite the opposite.

As for me, I’m no Twilight fan, whatever the definition for that may be. I thought the book was okay, but that I’ll at least check out the others later. And until then, I have yet to form an opinion of New Moon, Eclipse, or Breaking Dawn. If I’m disgusted then, well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. No sooner.