Letter to Under-21s

October 28, 2009

Dear Under-21s,

This is just a friendly reminder that we expect you to go risk and lose your lives fighting in the wars we wage, to extinguish our burning houses, to resuscitate us and rush us to the emergency room, to appear naked for our sensual delight in our centerfolds and clubs, to fix our computers that we stubbornly won’t learn to use properly, to be the majority of participants in any civil rights and social justice struggle, to refuse to hire you until you pay increasingly exorbitant tuition fees to us so we can provide you progressively lower quality education, to give up a chunk of your meager paycheck to pay for our social security, to play the NCAA games we fervently gamble on and scream at you when your mistakes cost us a bet, to volunteer to help the less fortunate whom we prefer to deny our thoughts and money, and to cast your vote on Election Day despite our deliberate measures to make the process extra difficult and complicated for you even though you’re a first time voter even though we will still complain that your age group doesn’t turn out at the polls and thus won’t show the slightest interest in representing your needs and just keep acting like you’re not citizens but just extensions of your parents. We expect all that, but that does NOT mean we want you to drink with us, to join us at the poker table, or to behave in any other way that even comes close to implying you are equal to us. You are not. We are your elders so we are the ones who are entitled to unconditional respect and service from you, the lowly youth. We will, of course, continue to paint you as the ones who believe they are entitled to everything.

The Middle Aged and Elderly

P.S. Fuck you.

P.P.S. Yes, we can say fuck, but don’t you dare think you can!