Dallas Sucks

September 10, 2006

Football season has begun…

Yay! Dallas Cowboys lost. I hate them SO much! *shakes fist*

That’s right. As indicated in some entries back in January, and even a few more recent ones, I am a Washington Redskins fan. Always have been. Always will be. As such, I hate the Dallas Cowboys and bear a healthy dislike for the Philadelphia Eagles and the New York Giants.

When I was three years old, my dad told me to go up to my uncle (a Dallas fan) and say “Dallas sucks!” So I did. Like every time I saw him. Wasn’t sure why it bothered my mom. Something about me saying a bad word. Not surprising. Dallas is a dirty word. Tell me something I don’t know.

And what the hell is the big fascination with the Dallas Cowboys anyway? I can understand people who are actually from Dallas liking them. That is to be expected. But their fandom *snicker* extends all over the country. Little isolated pockets of people who for some ungodly reason root for the football team of an overgrown Texas suburb. You know, I realize the same is true for the Green Bay Packers, but they have at least earned it.

We’ve got assholes even around here, in the DC area, who like the Cowboys. Now what the hell is that? Should find those folks and, one by one, send them on a little tour of Anacostia. Hehehe. That’ll show them. Or kill them. Whatever. This is Redskins town! :doitnow:

And what the hell is up with them calling themselves “America’s Team”? Sure, right. Because, last I checked, Dallas TX is the capital of the United States. Oh, wait, they’re not. What justifies them calling themselves that? Oh, that’s right. Absolutely nothing! What, their popularity? Only popular because most of the country HATES them. Other than that, this all just sounds like they’re compensating for something.

Put simply, they are the bad guys. The silver and blue guys with the gay ass star on their helmets? They are the bad guys. They must always be defeated.

The burgundy and gold Washington Redskins are the good guys, always.

Saying anything otherwise is treason. In which case, eat shit. Because you’re wrong and pathetic.

Follow this guideline, and you shall achieve nirvana. Really.